Yesterday I talked with a good friend who had just received bad news. One of her big clients decided to pull a contract they had just approved and her work and cash flow for the next few months was going to be deeply affected.

So while we were talking about all the possible good things that could come of the situation, I suggested that she try something that I heard about on a business show (that has sadly been cancelled), during the early part of the recession in 2008.

In the show, a wise man (can’t remember who) said that business owners should all write an article from the perspective of 2012 about how we became huge successes in our industries.

Doing this exercise, he said, would help us step out of our self-pity about the challenges we faced with the economy. It forced us to look at what we could do during the next four years that would positively impact our businesses and could lead to success despite the difficult circumstances.

So yesterday, I offered up the same advice to my friend. I asked her to take some time to write a letter to herself from the perspective of December, 2012 about how this year was a huge success because this client dropped the contract.

I asked her to share in the article what steps she took to find new clients that were also her ideal clients, and how she used this new free time to direct her business to even more fulfilling success.

Basically, I wanted to see if we could find a way to look at this “no” as something that was actually really good news in the long run.

And of course it goes without saying that we can all do this kind of exercise in any aspect of our career or personal life. Because no matter how tough things may seem at the time, the way to get out of the ditch is to imagine a better future outcome and then determine the steps that we need to take to get there.

It won’t always be easy to implement, but it will get us “off our buts” and start moving forward.

** Why the pig photo, you ask? It’s Chorizo, a mini three-legged good luck pig that sits on Mr. Lively’s desk at work.

As I am finding the balance of Business with Intention and MML, I realize there is a large overlap of readers who want intentional life and business advice. To make sure that I address both concepts, I am starting a new email series called I Wish I Knew Wednesday which will share something that I wish I knew back when I was starting Jess LC, or what I wish I knew just last week.

This email series technically falls under the Business with Intention umbrella, but I will also post the topic on Tuesdays here on MML so that those interested in getting the emails and seeing the content have a chance to sign up before the email goes out the following day.

Tomorrow’s topic is How to Find Manufacturers. This is something I’ve been working on for a few years now and I’ve accomplished in several different ways.

If you’d like to get the email, simply sign up by clicking on the image below. This email list is also where I announce upcoming Workshops and other BWI updates.

(If you have signed up for the BWI newsletter, you will automatically get this series.)

First off, I’d like to say that I had a great weekend in Washington DC with our BWI Workshop! I will have more photos and details to come later this week. I’m also taking today off as I have mentioned. But I wanted to drop by MML quickly and share a breakthrough I’ve had… just a few hours ago.

The Thing I’m Afraid to Tell You About Jess LC

As the Things I’m Afraid to Tell You movement continues to grow (Meg is doing a new wave of the series today), I’m taking this truth-telling to let go of something I’ve been ashamed of over at Jess LC.

Since last year I’ve been designing and creating iPad 2 and 3 covers. The color combinations and the overall design have been very popular, and I am so thankful for the success that it has been. As you all know I am a completely self-taught designer and I have only recently begun working with local manufacturers to create these new cases.

It has honestly been one of the most challenging projects of my thirteen year run in business. Designing accessories is not extremely challenging. But applying an accessory mindset to a decidedly tech product, is a balance that is extremely hard to reach – especially as a 27-year-old with no background or major resources like most out there producing most portfolio style iPad covers.

Our cases themselves have met every expectation that I personally had for my “dream iPad 2 case,” but they have not been everyone’s cup of tea. While we have had hundreds of satisfied, excited, and happy iPad case customers, we have also had more issues with this style than any other product we have ever designed combined. About 9% of people who purchase this case are not satisfied.

While that number still is pretty small considering the circumstances, it has been very hard on me personally. You see, I desperately want each and every case to be as perfect as possible for everyone. But reality is not perfect. And what’s more, even if it is perfect for most people, it is not perfect for all people.

So now that we’ve blown through our inventory of gold iPad case styles, I am now faced with a decision: Do I continue to make more for all those who are so excited about them? Or do I stop making them and avoid the disappointed customers?

It’s been a tough battle in my mind, let me tell you.

I would rather have a 1% customer service request rate which is consistent with our other products than the 9% that occurs with iPad cases.

But I also know that if I drop the cases, I am going to get tons of emails from people who really, really, really want us to keep making them.

So this morning I came to a conclusion: unlike the industry standard of sharing bullet point lists of the product details on the product page for this item, I am coming clean with the pros and cons of these cases right up front so customers can make a decision.

That’s right, all the good and bad points about the case are now front and center on each product page.

My hope is that by being this honest about the cases, customers who might be disappointed by certain aspects will know this ahead of time and not buy the case in the first place. Thereby lowering our overall customer service rate for the product.

And, for those who fully understand the case’s features, they will still be able to order and enjoy the colors and features they are so excited about.

While I realize that this much information might be a little to “TMI,” I think the peace of mind that I will feel about them is priceless.

My hope is that we have more informed customers who appreciate our efforts to provide the best case we possibly can, while still understanding the limitations of the product.

Phew. It’s now out there. It feels peaceful, freeing, and real.

Thank you all so very much for your support.

photo by

Once upon a time on MML there used to be a beloved series called DESIGN YOUR LIFE which allowed interviewees to share their intentions for their lives along with the specific, tangible ways they “designed their life” to make the intentions become reality.

After a while it became too much for me to run alongside the rest of my commitments, so I put in on hold. But I’m excited to announce that it will be back soon.

I also think it’s time that I updated my own interview from 2009.

A lot has changed in the last three years and it’s time to share my current intentions.

Since I would like to go in depth which each of my intentions, I will share only the first intention today and the rest throughout the week.

Enjoy!

Work in a balanced way.

As I take on more and more responsibility with Jess LC, MML, and BWI, I find myself more and more ferociously defending my time off and life balance. If I don’t, I begin to resent work very quickly.

So to keep a “normal” life as much as possible, I am learning that I need to do a few things to stay sane and highly effective at the same time.

First of all, I am learning how to delegate more than ever before. In Jess LC that means I have the amazing and wonderful Susie to make our jewelry orders and a new trio of Lauren, Kiley, (and soon-to-be) Caitlin to intern and manage the online shop. This frees me up to do the high level activities like finance, product development, and social media needed to keep the company growing and maintaining the brand’s DNA.

In MML that means that I am working towards allowing our amazing intern/managers also help with a few labor intensive, but not me-specific tasks. One of which will be to resurrect the DESIGN YOUR LIFE series.

And in BWI, I am working with Clara, my totally awesome, talented, and capable event planner to help execute our travelling workshops. Handing event specific details to her allows me to stay focused on content and making sure the participants are getting the best advice and information.

In addition to delegating, I’m also learning how to ‘hustle’ more during my workdays so that I can accomplish more from 9:30a to 6:00p. I make detailed weekly and daily to-do lists which keep me moving along and accomplishing all the major tasks. I also just work harder. I’m usually wiped by the end of the workday.

And to make sure that my off hours stay “off” I am now cutting Twitter, business Facebook, and email out of my nights and weekends. I’m doing pretty good so far. Right now I’m 98% free of them all and the more that I honor those boundaries, the more I enjoy work and feel more present in my home life.

However, all of this goes without saying that there are a few days where I work until 7:30 or 8. And on our workshops I work during the weekend. But those overtime hours are rare and encourage me to honor the regular off hours all the more.

Because after all, “off hours” aren’t really “off.” They are the times that I’m honoring my personal life. 

Tomorrow I’ll share what my intention to be in a committed relationship means to me.

It’s time to reveal the photo recap of Chicago’s BWI Workshop!

Here is a quick glimpse of our Chicago workshop taken by Kim Vargo of YellowBrickHome (she’s such a sweet person and wonderful photographer).

I had such a wonderful time getting to know these amazing women entrepreneurs. Below is a smattering of feedback from the workshop participants.

I loved meeting other small business owners and being able to share our thoughts and ideas with them. I loved feeling reassured that you have others to support you. I also loved being able to get clarity on the vision of my business. It was really helpful to write everything out and I think it will make it much easier to stick to. I’m going to hang it right next to my computer, so I’m reminded everyday that there is a bigger picture.

- Amanda Genther, Amanda Genther Design

My favorite aspect of the workshop was  the exercise to ensure that my vision of my personal career matches the vision of my business. It was an interesting exercise to write down my career vision, then write down the business vision, and measure them up to each other.  The parts that didn’t match may not come to fruition, and I’d end up unhappy doing work I didn’t necessarily like.  Even though i may not love 100% of my daily tasks in this new business venture, the overarching visions should be parallel. 

- Renee Davis, Bell & King Eyewear

I really enjoyed connecting with other positive, motivated individuals and getting personalized feedback on my business vision, struggles, and plans for the future.

- Lisa Butler, Elembee Creative

I loved that the workshop allowed me to carve out time and space to really think about my business.  I was able to solidify my purpose and vision, figure out how I want to structure my days, and brainstorm new ideas and ways to grow my business.  It was a fun, supportive, and low-pressure environment with lots of discussion and some time set aside for individual journaling.  Best of all, Jess encouraged each of us to collaborate with at least two other attendees after the day concluded… and I’m already on the way to doing just that!

- Melissa Tydell, Melrose Street Custom Content

I enjoyed the group aspect of the workshop. Being surrounded by like-minded creatives was so inspiring; it was amazing to see the support for each other and watch the ideas grow! The group discussions were thought provoking, and I was able to think about my product and business model as a whole. I had some ideas going into the workshop, but leaving, I was thrilled to get started! 

- Kim Vargo, Yellow Brick Home

The Business With Intention workshop was a great opportunity to take a step back from the day-to-day responsibilities of starting a small business and think intentionally about what I want my company to become. It was great to learn from Jess’ experience and to connect with other like-minded ladies who are driven by similar goals. I left feeling incredibly inspired!

- Alyssa VandeLeest, Prosper Public Relations

You can find more thoughts on the workshop on our Workshop Alumni Page as it grows and evolves with each new group.

I cannot thank everyone enough for their support with this endeavor. And most of all, I would like to thank Clara, my partner in crime and event planner for all of her help and support along the way. She’s a pro as well as a wonderful friend.

Our next Workshop destinations are…

Yep! We have two new cities on the books! Washington DC still has room and is at the introductory rate. And New York and Seattle both have early registration discounts through June 1st and July 1st respectively.

Want to learn more about the Business with Intention Workshops? Read on.

Yesterday I had every intention of having a full workday. Though my desire last week was to take two full days off after the workshop to relax and recover, there seemed to be too much to do with Jess LC to really let that happen.

So instead, I got up on Monday and tore myself out of bed and got to work.

But as the day went on, no matter how much caffeine I consumed, I could sense my body and mind were on a strike.

And after trying to battle through for five hours, I finally at 1:00 waved my white flag and surrendered to the couch. Though there was still plenty to get done, I knew that the time off wasn’t just a luxury I was giving myself, it was the permission to be human.

With more on my plate than ever before, I’ve powered through launching the workshops as a midnight hustler at times and also by working double time during my work hours. I’ve pushed myself to accomplish twice the amount of work over the past few months.

And once the workshop finally ended, I really did need a 48 hour break.

But I didn’t give myself that time off and my body and mind taught me how important it really was yesterday.

In fact, once I finally allowed myself to lay on the blessed couch for eight hours of sleeping and Tivo, I felt great about my decision.

In doing so, I accomplished two things: I honored my inner-goose and upheld the example I hope to “preach” here on MML.

You see, in a world where so many people (especially women entrepreneurs and bloggers) are working harder than ever and chasing ever more illusive feelings of meaning, beauty, perfection, and profit through work, we are blurring the lines of work/life balance more than ever before.

And though my life is decidedly meshed with my career in my choice to work from home, be my own boss, and collaborate with friends in business I truly want to be an example of someone who designs a life with intention that is not overrun with work.

I’m not quite looking to drop off the map four months at a time, but I’m also not looking to constantly be tied to work 24 hours a day either. Though I’ve just completed a season full of hustle, it was not a permanent lifestyle.

So while I continue to push myself to deliver more value and meaning in my career, I’m also “working” on not working overtime in equal proportion.

The truth is that if I did that for any extended period of time I’d have a mental breakdown, physical illness, or emotional meltdown. Which is decidedly not what I’d want to exemplify on MML or experience.

Because of all of these revelations, I am now preparing ahead of time to make Mondays after workshops a mandatory day off for myself. This will involve shuffling intern responsibilities, preparing an email away message, and the discipline to allow myself to relax after a hard weekend’s work.

As a business owner I write my policies. And I have just added a new one to the list.

First of all, I’d like to share my immense gratitude for the success of the Business with Intention Workshop this Saturday in Chicago. Going into the workshop I had an idea of what things would probably be most important and helpful. But I think I massively underestimated the power of the in-person connection these women business owners felt from meeting one another. The MML and BWI community is a group of like-minded individuals looking to make an intentional impact in the world, their personal lives, and in the lives and businesses of their new friends.

I have a feeling the Chicago workshop participants will be reaping the benefits of knowing and sharing with one another for years to come. Which makes me feel so humbled. Instead of feeling like  the “one in charge” of something like this, I now feel like a steward that is able to facilitate this wonderful connection and experience for these entrepreneurs.

And I’m honored to do so in Washington DC as well as the cities yet to come. Clara [the coolest person ever] and I will be announcing the new locations soon.

Okay, now it’s back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Today I’d like to follow up my video where I explain the difference between career, purpose, and vocation with a little case study to also illustrate my points.

Above, are my new crushes, Sophia Grace (8) and Rosie (5).

After discovering their immense talent on The Ellen Show, I was struck at how they perfectly illustrate the fluid nature of career, purpose, and vocation.

From watching their singing and dancing it is clear that they have the opportunity to use their talents to make performance a career, purpose, or vocation, depending on their intention throughout their lives.

First of all, it’s obvious that they can probably make money by singing via ad revenue on their insanely popular You Tube videos, Ellen performances, or other events in the future. Or, they can choose to not monetize their popularity.

Secondly, it is clear that they are delighting and bringing joy to people that watch their videos. This is an example of how they are helping to make other people’s lives better in the present moment. Sure, they may not do this once they are 12, 26, or 58 years old. But at this moment, their performances are making people happy and fulfilling their life purpose.

In the future, they may decide to become doctors, receptionists, or fire fighters and help people in different ways. This is a great example that what we do now to help people, does not need to be what we do for the rest of our lives. It can change and evolve with our stages in life and intentions.

When we are actively focused on helping people wherever we find ourselves, that is living our ultimate purpose.

Or finally, Sophia Grace and Rosie might grow up and find that they would like to dedicate their lives to singing and dancing. They may find that this unique talent is deeply fulfilling to them and they want to continue to preform as a vocation. Again, as I mentioned before, they can choose to to make this a vocation without necessarily making this their career. They could choose to be an engineer and build bridges (career/purpose) and sing for free (purpose/vocation). On the other hand, they could sing for money and craft a career/purpose/vocation out of their gifts.

It’s all up to them and no choice is “better” than another. Vocation is not something that is really any more “special” than purpose since they both involve what is truly most important: helping other people in the present moment.

In the wake of my confession about my struggle with my relationship perfectionism, my gut tells me that there may be more people who struggle with this type of perfectionism in their career and purpose categories.

So today, I’d like to get a little feisty and share what I really think about career and purpose over-idealism.*

To be honest, more and more I notice comments, worries, and clouds of anxiety surrounding people and their “career” or “purpose.” Especially among Gen Y and Gen Z.

I think the idea we were all taught about “making a difference” in our childhoods has cast this shadow of expectation that we should all be rescuing the planet, curing cancer, and making hundreds of thousands of dollars while working a 9 to 5 job – from a sail boat in our pajamas.

And the truth is that all of those things are possible, and will happen for some people.

But the fact is that most people will not be doing those things. And that’s a good thing.

The world would not be quite as nice if we didn’t have people to do our taxes, send us Netflix, cut our hair, or cook our organic grass fed burgers on a pretzel bun.**

Yet it seems so many people are sitting in their cubicles stressing out over the utter “meaninglessness” of their jobs.

And I honestly want to say that I think that those people should deeply consider whether their current situation actually does have the potential to become part of their purpose if they dug in, changed their perception, and had a more proactive outlook.

I love you, so please let me explain.

Purpose is not a string of fuzzy warm feelings that naturally burst forth at every moment. The purpose equation explains that it doesn’t really matter what the heck you are doing. As long as you are using whatever you are doing to better the day of someone else, then that is purpose in action.

So even if the job itself isn’t pulling samples for Vogue, saving orphans, or raking in fat checks, it can still be done with excellence, problem solving (aka creativity), and love.

Almost all jobs involve working and interacting with peers or customers. Those interactions are where you have the unlimited potential to step it up and become someone that really does make other people more joyful during the workday.

Take my label guy, Todd, for example. I have only spoken on the phone with Todd a handful of times over the past two years. But I always look forward to calling him for more labels. He’s friendly, happy, prompt, honest, and just plain fun to work with. Of the dozens of suppliers I have to pay, I actually look forward to giving him money.

He’s a label maker with a sh*t load of purpose.

Further, any transaction ultimately fills a need. So there can be a bigger goal to look towards for inspiration or meaning.

On the other hand, if that is simply impossible to find or the environment is unhealthy, there is always the option of leaving the place and going in a new direction.

Either way, we are not helpless beings in search of meaning and purpose. We are powerful. So powerful, we have the capability to transform our current moment into purpose if we put our minds to it.

We just gotta lose the cooky sense that we need to be doing something that we find fulfilling.

Fulfilling is in this very moment if we choose to honor it completely.

* Yep, I just made that term up, but I think it fits.

** And a million other careers. But you get my point.

Last week I had two fantastic consulting calls. One of which, is a great example of how thinking small can lead to huge leaps forward in creativity, uniqueness, and purpose.

On Friday, I worked with Flavia, a food blogger with a site called, Flavia’s Flavors. Below, she shares how our consultation helped her narrow in and think “smaller” than the food blogging community at large, to reveal her true purpose and much smaller niche of Italian food blogging. I’m so excited to see her take her blog in this new direction and thank her for what has become, an incredibly kind testimonial along the way.

It was a joy to work with her and I’m so thankful I got to help her find her true purpose with food blogging.

Overall, the takeaway here is to really think smaller in terms of your industry and your place in it in order to reach a greater audience and have a deeper impact.

Click to read the full story over on Business with Intention.

(And in other news… there are just two days left to sign up for the Chicago Business with Intention workshop.)

Ever since last week when Mr. Lively and I found our next apartment, I’ve been thinking about the importance of “no’s” in life.

While I would love to think that all of my wishes, dreams, and intentions will come true exactly as I expect and wish them to be, much of my life has been shaped by the rejections, denials, or no’s that I’ve gotten.

But when I inspect those events further, there are some important no’s that have fundamentally shifted my life for the better.

Had those fateful no’s not happened, I wouldn’t have many of the blessings I have today.

Here are just a few of the meaningful no’s that I’ve received and the happy outcomes that have since surfaced.

When I was in high school, I wanted to go to Notre Dame. Badly. But my dad, being pragmatic, looked up the rankings of business schools and found my in-state University of Michigan undergrad to be ranked higher than ND at the time. And thus refused to pay for the ND application fee. Since he knew that the extremely expensive out of state tuition would have been out of our family’s reach, I would have been putting undue stress on the family or taking out major student loans for an education that was totally on par with in-state Michigan Business School price tag.

Had I gotten into ND and not had a very huge scholarship (unlikely), I would have been weighed down with significant student loans that would have prevented me from taking my own business full-time right after graduation. I would have likely settled for a corporate job and perhaps never had the courage or financial freedom to be where I am today.

When I was in college, I interviewed for one full-time position after graduation and didn’t get it. The interviewer attempted to guess who I was in the lobby based on the fact that I noted on my resume that I was coxswain on the men’s crew team my freshman year. He suspected that I was a thinner girl in the room, since coxswains’ weight is important in rowing.

Once I said he was wrong, and that I was the one who had once been a coxswain, he remarked “I can see why you aren’t on the team anymore,” pointing out the fact that I was at that point about 22 pounds heavier than my freshman year. After that remark, I had to shake his hand, smile, and walk into an interview. Had I gotten that job, he would have been my boss.

I was badly burned from that offhand remark and was determined not to work for the company. Weeks later, I realized that I was better off working for myself while trying to fulfill my purpose. Which of course, has led me to where I am today.

In 2009 I had sales reps for Jess LC that opened 80 accounts for us. At the time, 80% of my business was wholesale. But to be honest, working with them was extremely frustrating and I had to rely on them for most of my company’s growth.

So as they eventually went off in a new direction and opened their own fashion line, I refused to let the dying relationship and sales channel keep me feeling helpless. I beared the sales dip that followed and refused to replace them with another company and relied on my own wits and sales channels to carry us over.

At the same time, I also started MML and devoted my energy towards online marketing and selling. Since then, I’ve been more in control and personally fulfilled by Jess LC than I ever would have had I continued working through showrooms or reps.

A few years ago I moved in with my boyfriend (at the time). Pretty soon after our move, it became clear that we were not meant to follow the path towards marriage. But we still had six months on our shared lease. Unable to afford the cost of breaking the lease, we stuck it out.

Then, almost exactly two months after the lease did end, I met Mr. Lively. An immediate and intense friendship soon turned into an intense relationship.

I cannot be more grateful for the way things have turned out and I am so excited about the future that lies ahead.

A few weeks ago I was looking for someone to sublet my apartment so I could move in with Mr. Lively when his lease ends in July. But despite a lot of interest, it wasn’t working out.

Then last week we discovered our next apartment which had almost everything we were looking for and more. However, the catch was that renovation would not be complete until September or October. Which actually worked out perfectly with my lease. Had we subleased my home earlier, this amazing situation would not have been possible.

So, when we find something isn’t working out as we hoped, we can remember that there might just be something awesome around the corner.

And in order to get to there, we might need to bump into a few no’s along the way.

Lately, I’ve been working longer hours than ever before, but stressing less.

How you might ask?

That’s because Future Jess is working overtime.

Yep, that’s right. I’ve cloned myself and the second Jess is living somewhere off in the future working hard for Jess LC and my personal life.

My Future Jess is pretty awesome, she doesn’t get worried or anxious and her hair is always perfectly smooth and soft. (She has shiny white teeth, too.)

Because of Future Jess, whenever I come across a problem or decision that needs to be made, I simply leave it on Future Jess’ to-do list.

Q: When am I going to find my westie puppy?

A: Future Jess will figure it out closer to May when that becomes a more important possibility. 

Q: What should I do with the remaining stock we have left when collection is finished?

A: Future Jess will figure that out once we get to that point. 

Q: Who is going to intern for Jess LC once our summer interns have gone back to school?

A: Future Jess will find some great girls to help out in the shop in the next few months.

Q: How am I going to balance the workshop travel, Jess LC, MML, and writing an e-book this summer?

A: Future Jess will decide what is best once July comes around.

Q: Where am I going to live July 1st?

A: Future Jess is going to take a look at the options on the market with Future Mr. Lively in May when July leases start popping up.

You see? Future Jess has a lot of work on her hands while I enjoy this present moment and the macaroni and cheese I’m about to eat for lunch.

As usual, we have some upcoming Business in the City dates planned out over the next few months.

Anyone is welcome and feel free to bring a friend. This one and a half hour meet up is a low-key way to meet full-time and part-time business owners or those with business ideas. We spend our time asking each other business questions and helping one another by sharing our own experiences and successes.

This event is free to attend and light snacks and drinks are provided by Next Door.

APRIL, 18TH 

6:30-8:00PM

Next Door, 659 W. Diversey

I’ve been working from my home or in a studio apartment for the five years ever since graduating from college and taking Jess LC full-time.

Over those years, I’ve grown to love working from home more and more. I love being able to spend time in a place that I love so much. And though working from home isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, more and more people are doing the same.

One of the best things about being self-employed, and working from home too, is that you get to make the rules for your business. As I’ve mentioned before many times, if I don’t like my job, I can only blame myself. Because I make the decisions and have the power to change my short or long term strategy.

Some of the habits I’ve created for my own work from home culture include getting fully dressed everyday, and working consistently from 9:30am to 5:30 or 6:30pm. After that, barring anything super duper important and urgent, I’m off on nights and weekends.

I have been doing this for five years and I’m going to be doing this for the rest of the foreseeable future. So I have set an intention to pace myself to avoid burnout. Which means my personal life has a schedule devoted to it, just like my business.

On the other hand, you’ll find me weekdays during business hours at my desk or working in some capacity. Though I do sometimes take a lunch with Mr. Lively downtown after a meeting or grab groceries on the way home from the bank.

Last Friday, however, after a very long and draining week, I had very little energy and motivation to do any work whatsoever. But with everything on my plate, taking the day off wasn’t really a good option.

So I decided to shake up my working routine and think of ways that I could get work done which didn’t make me feel like I was working.

Here’s a few ideas I came up with that other Work From Homers might find helpful too:

Turn on the TV.

Though I don’t have it on during workdays, when I really didn’t feel like working, the white noise and energy from the Food Network gave me a bit more pep, and made it feel like a special treat.

Work in another room.

As I mentioned, I usually work at my desk, but I also could work on the small couch in my bedroom. Because when the weather is crummy, going to a coffee shop to work doesn’t always seem that appealing.

Wear a weekend outfit (or pjs).

Again, normally I put on an outfit that is comfortable and cute (jeans, flats, and blouses mostly). But when I really didn’t feel like working sticking to jeans and a t-shirt without makeup was a nice change of pace.

Mix up the activities.

Instead of working straight through the day, I broke it up by doing a few fun things I enjoy (aka: painted my nails) in between the work oriented activities.

… And when all else fails, call a friend or go to happy hour.

By the late afternoon I had very little energy to put towards anything else. So I called it a day and talked with a friend on the phone. After that, it was time to head out and hang out with the corporate crowd for happy hour. Though it meant that I did a bit of work over the weekend instead, it was nice to end early.

As we roll into April, I’m getting the word out about the upcoming Chicago and DC Business with Intention Workshops. I am excited to say that though the workshops are filling up, there is still room in both cities to attend!

This week I’m starting a three-part email series called Three Things I Wish I Knew. As you may know, I started my business from scratch when I was fifteen without a clue, and have “trialed and errored” my way to success. Throughout the thirteen years I’ve been doing this I have learned a lot about what works and what is a waste of time and money. With that in mind, I’ll be sharing three of the biggest things I wish I knew, ten years ago and last month, in the series.

In a sense, I will be downloading my business brain and heart into the day long workshop so people can find profit and meaning in their businesses much quicker than I did.

This email series will do two things: it will give you a flavor of the actual workshop content and why you might like to come, and also help your business right now.

The emails will be sent out on this Thursday, next Monday, and next Wednesday.

The First Thing I Wish I Knew will be: How (and when) to delegate and take on help for your business.

Sign up for the Three Things I wish I Knew email series.

Also…

If you or anyone you know might be a good fit for the workshop but aren’t sure if it’s a great fit for you, I’d be happy to jump on a call with you and discuss one-on-one whether the workshop would be beneficial.

To do so, please email me at hello(at)businesswithintention.com and let me know about your business and your phone number. I’ll follow up with a quick phone call this week!

Today I’m sharing an incredible branding story of one of my consulting clients, Kathryn of Protect Your Pumps. Her company makeover is insanely awesome. 

Hop over to Business with Intention to see the full before and after!

Over on Business with Intention I shared a great two minute video on how to separate truly great branding from the rest of the pack.

Hop on over to watch it and enjoy!

Lately I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about the upcoming Business with Intention Workshops debuting in Chicago and Washington DC and I thought it might be a good idea to share them here as well.

Though our future events are going to be amazing and completely awesome, the first two are a little special.

Here’s how.

Currently I am preparing the content for the workshops and I’m using the goals and intentions of these first two classes to craft my direction and information. So these two events are the best place to have the most customization to your specific business goals.

Of course this will be a component of future workshops as well, but the depth and individual tailoring of these two first classes is an advantage.

One of the best assets of this workshop is the chance to get to know other business owners face to face. In a start-up world that can be somewhat lonely, the workshop will be a great place for people to connect at a deeper level than that found online.

So far, we have product businesses and service business owners coming to the events. Which will make for some great opportunities to help one another with marketing and possible future collaborations.

I know from my own experience how valuable it is to work with other businesses to grow. It’s been a huge and very successful part of my own strategy with Jess LC (more details will be shared in the workshop).

Plus, I love having entrepreneur friends who get what I’m going through on any given day. Their advice and unwavering support helps me get through the challenging times.

And last but not least, we are running a special discount on the first two workshops, so this is the chance to get the same experience for less.

Also, if you are thinking about traveling to either of these workshops, Clara, the Workshop Manager can help you find a place to crash at a fellow workshop classmate’s home. Please email hello[at]businesswithintention.com for more info on that possibility as well.

We currently still have room in both workshops, so if you want to come to Chicago in April or DC in May, please join us!

We’ll be mailing welcome packets not too far from now. I can’t wait.

photos of our Chicago space via

Yesterday I was reading an amazing article suggested by Diane here on MML (the link seems to be down right now), about Gen-Y and whether twentysomethings are expecting too much from work and life in general.

Though I loved much of the article, the last few lines of the article didn’t sit well with me.

At the end of the seven page article detailing Gen-Y’s search for a purposeful career, the author interviewed a female lawyer who said she wanted to look forward to jumping out of bed in the morning. The author then asked her if she thinks that there are people that actually have that euphoric feeling while waking up, and the lawyer mentioned that she thinks that’s how entrepreneurs feel.

WRONG. 

Of course I can only speak for my own experience and that of friends that I know who have been in business for many years. But I can tell you wholeheartedly that that is not how I feel every morning.

Putting up an unrealistic expectation like that on a purpose driven career is a great way to stay stuck in disappointment, disillusion, and fear.

I’m sure that getting out of bed each morning for a non-purpose career might feel awful and depressing. But I can tell you right now that there are mornings in every business owner’s life that are stressful, scary, and worrisome. Or maybe even just a bit dull.

Charting your own path in the beginning can be daunting because no one knows your business. This can feel like you are constantly running up a big hill each day pushing a ton of bricks. Is it worthwhile? Absolutely. But that effort to get noticed can take it’s toll on the spring in your step at 7am.

And once you are established, it can be daunting to know that you are going to have to troubleshoot multiple problems and complaints each day. People have their own expectations of what you and your company are going to do and as you become more successful their criticism can increase (look at the iPad 3 release, for example).

So either way there are times and reasons that you may not want to jump out of bed although what you are doing is deeply meaningful and fulfilling.

I’d liken it to having a baby, puppy, or marriage. Though I’ve never had those things in my life, from all of my friend’s accounts, those things are intensely gratifying but the reality of those things also does not always involve jolting out of bed in ecstasy.

Some days you wake up and just want to keep sleeping.

So all of this is to say that I sincerely encourage anyone considering entrepreneurship or just starting out to lower the “jumping out of the bed” expectations just a bit.

Like all good things, there will be a honeymoon phase and seasons of “joyful mornings” throughout. But if you experience less than ideal waking conditions at some point in your business operations, that is normal, that is fine, that still means all you have to do is just keep going.

While I’m on the topic of Business with Intention, we have our next Business in the City meet-up tomorrow at Next Door (659 W. Diversey).

Unfamiliar with Business in the City? You can read more about the meet-up group here.

I’m proud to announce that the Business with Intention site and workshop are now live!

The Business with Intention Workshop is designed to help current and soon-to-be business owners develop a defined vision for their businesses and then give them the tools to make it happen.

And I know everyone has been wondering where we are headed first. Based on your feedback we chose…

Chicago and…

Washington DC!

You can read the complete details here as well as some of the main points below.

The day long workshop will help you create meaningful goals and intentions for your business that allow you to push past personal barriers along with the nuts and bolts of then making that dream come true.

The course will focus primarily, but not exclusively on:

• Creating an intentional business
• Work/life balance, time management, and delegating
• Effective branding
• Selling via wholesale, retail, and online
• Interacting online and using social media to your advantage
• Website 101 and 102
• Marketing online and offline

The event itself will be in a fun, positive, and inspiring space that allows you to connect with other business owners in a small group setting and imagine bigger and bolder things for your business.

The event will have a light breakfast and full lunch, along with a few surprises along the way.

The first half of the day will be devoted to creating a complete vision for your business followed by a group discussion about the barriers, challenges, and opportunities to make life and business work together in a deeply satisfying way.

Then, in the afternoon we will get into the trenches and discuss the steps needed to make that plan a reality. Please see the specific business topics listed in the “What will it cover?” section above.

And all along the way you will be able to ask questions and get personalized feedback on your business in it’s current state so that you have direct feedback to work with going forward.

In addition to the information shared above, you will walk out of the Business with Intention Workshop with:

• A course binder and USB filled with tips, tricks, and information to help guide your next steps
• A clear sense of what you want out of your business — and a plan to make it happen
• Connections and friendships with the business owners in your class

Rather than do the planned 10% discount for the people who participated in our survey, I’ve decided to make the first two event registration fees even sweeter for everyone.

For these two events only we are deducting $50 off of what we estimate to be the fee for future workshops. To register, head over to the Chicago or Washington DC pages.

And… the first five people who register for a workshop will get a free one-on-one hour long consultation with me after their workshop. These first five people will be contacted by me directly to let them know they won the consultation via email.

I would also like to take a moment to thank the wonderful people who have helped me launch this endeavor, without their help, support, and talent, I would not be able to make Business with Intention a reality.

Clara of Clara Persis Events has been with me along this journey from day one. She has helped me take what was once just an idea and make it a real workshop which will not only help people and their business goals, but also be a wonderful, beautiful, and inspiring experience. I can’t thank her enough for her support, encouragement, and brilliant ideas.

And Lisa, of Elembee Creative has been a wonderful WordPress.org designer taking the thoughts in my head and putting them to pixels. It’s definitely not that easy to make a WordPress.org site happen, and she did it extremely well and incredibly fast. I can’t thank – or recommend – her enough. If you are looking for a WordPress.org designer, she’s your girl.

Of course it goes without saying that Mr. Lively needs to be recognized. He has been with me every step of this journey. It has been a challenge to launch this on top of Jess LC and MML and he hasn’t complained once. Though I’m working longer and harder, he’s been supportive and insanely helpful with many of the technical details that go along with domain redirects, registration button codes, and any general anxiety attacks I face. Without him I would be a way less balanced person with a mediocre web presence. Thank you.

And last but not least, thank you all right here on MML for supporting me as I take this next step. I realized last night that this new venture has new level of meaning for me. Though I’ve stepped into new territory in business many times before, this one is closest to my heart and purpose. This one is the most personal. And I thank you for helping me get the courage to step into this new chapter of my life and career.

photo via, via

This week I wrote a to-do list for the major projects that I had on my plate. It seems I did pretty well; I’m one major project short and one workout shy of my intentions, but the rest are crossed off. Which means there is homework for me this weekend.

I have a gut feeling that most successful people out there have an outcome like this, so I don’t feel bad about not getting everything completed. I imagine that the people we look up to usually get a whole lot done, but the still end up shy of their goals. So they just keep plugging along and [wait for it] just keep going.

One thing that I’ve learned from my Midnight Hustling is that I can either do a lot of weekday night work or a decent chunk of weekend work. Doing both last week left me drained, dry, and not happy. So last weekend I took the two days off to purely rest, and this week I’ve worked a bit later, but not much past 6:30. This leaves me with plenty of energy and enthusiasm to work on my Midnight Hustle this weekend.

Interestingly, Mr. Lively and his freelance web programming Midnight Hustle (he’s making Big Cartel and Shopify sites for shop owners) as found the same lesson: multiple long weekend nights or work on the weekends cannot be mixed for his sanity. Though everyone has different temperaments for work, we seem to strike a similar balance.

As far as my thankful photos go, I really need to get better about taking photos during the week! To be completely honest, four of those thankful moments were snapped this morning. Not that I’m not thankful for them… but really I need to be more present during my other days to capture the cool things that happen seven days of the week.

Thanks for reading MML this week. I hope you have a great weekend!

Lately I’ve been sensing in myself and others, especially online, that there is a feeling of urgency to be successful. Now more than ever it is awe inspiring to see the shooting stars of the internet world have great success in what they do. It’s amazing to see the big corporations start to reward these bloggers with attention, features, and sometimes a bunch of loot. And some people are seeing corporate level paychecks from their passion projects. While others are getting dozens and sometimes hundreds of comments.

The internet is gaining steam and many of us want to be on that train to huge success right this instant.

So we are leaning in, pushing ourselves, and trying to break into that special spotlight that casts its light on the “big” people of the internet.

But in most cases we are all striving for levels we have yet to achieve and it can be disheartening over time to feel like despite all of our efforts, we just can’t quite get there.

We haven’t made it yet.

But that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. One thing I continue to remind myself comes from Gary Vaynerchuk. He is always quick to point out two things: how young the internet is and how much longer we are going to be working in our lifetime.

He always has his eye on the much bigger picture, he feels like a kid at 36 with so much left to give and with so much room to grow. While here I am at 27 feeling exasperated thinking that after 13 years of business and three years of blogging I’m still not “where I want to be yet.”

His paradigm on life always gives me a reality check when I’m feeling frustrated. And I think this is something many of us can keep in mind for our web efforts or life intentions.

With any luck, we are going to be adding value in our lives, possibly here on the internet, for a very long time. So perhaps we need to sometimes take a chill pill when it comes to the grasping and “now now now” mentality. The internet moves so quickly with tools like Facebook and it’s easy to think that our success needs to come at the same pace as our Twitter feed.

But that’s not the case. We just need to remember to just keep going and pace ourselves for the long haul. If we really are in this for the foreseeable future, there is no need to stress over where we are today. There is plenty of room for us to get “there.”

As Tony of P90X likes to say, “just do your best and forget the rest.”

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been busy midnight hustling to take my business consulting to a whole new level. And right now I’m a week out from launching the traveling workshop(!) and one-on-one consulting site.

I’ve taken your thoughts from our recent survey to heart. Thank you so much for your feedback. There are lot of people out there reading my mind!

Though I don’t want to give too much away just yet, I will share the overall mission of the workshop itself:

The intention behind the Business with Intention Workshop is to help current and soon-to-be business owners define their intentions for their businesses and their lives.

There are a million ways to “grow a business” but none of that matters if you don’t first start with the end in mind. “What do you really, really want?” is the starting point, not “how do I make a lot of money?” Clarity from these questions will help identify what areas of business need to be nourished and expanded… as well as delegated.

From there on out it’s about the nuts, bolts, shortcuts, and hard work that it takes to grow a business filled with intention. My own 13 years of experience along with a variety of takeaways from my one-on-one consulting is on the table. I want to help other people do better in business by sharing what I’ve learned. And if you know anything about me, I’m all about keeping it real, honest, and positive along the way.

By the end of the one day workshop, my goal is to have each person excited and clear about what they want their business (and life) to be like. They will know the next five major steps that they need to take. Plus, they will have a wealth of insight from my own strike outs and home runs to help them get there.

And it goes without saying that there will be plenty of discussions, fun, loveliness, and surprises.

Though I’m still keeping the first two workshop cities under wraps for the moment, I will share a taste of the first space where we will be holding the  Business with Intention Workshop.

Beautiful, right?

I. Can’t. Wait.

If you are excited about the workshop and want to be kept in the loop on the cities, information, and other free content that will be a part of Business with Intention, please sign up for our email list here.

It’s time that we take our businesses, intentions, and lives to the next level.

Guys, I’m feeling kinda feisty. I’m gonna let it all out and hope that it comes out making sense, ok?

As you know, the idea of authenticity, flaws, and blogging have been swirling around the interwebs and here on MML lately. Something’s in the air and it feels like the honest breeze is a welcome change for a lot of people.

But I’m feeling feisty about the fact that though it’s great that this transparency is surfacing, it really is not essential for our own self-confidence. Yes, it’s wonderful to see the less ideal side of the people we admire. But even if we don’t see it all the time, we should first know that they are still human beings who have struggles and may not be comfortable sharing them at that moment (like Dooce and her separation or Joanna and her depression), and also that we are no less awesome than they are.

While every now and then I personally do feel pangs of jealousy when I see someone with a rare gift or talent (I can’t sing, don’t have a ton of money to buy all the clothes I like, and cooking just is not in my blood), it usually doesn’t sit with me for very long.

And while there may be a small element of my personality that is to blame for this, I think it also comes from my own journey toward truth.

You see, if you’ve read my about page, you know that I faced a lot of monsters in college and was one of the most insecure people that I knew back then. I wanted to be like everyone else, have what they had, and look like they looked. I wanted a guy to make me complete. And with every candy bar that I binged, bag that I bought, or lipstick that I wore, I hoped that I would suddenly be the perfect person that I so desperately wanted to be.

I wanted to feel Complete. And Happy. Oh, and Perfect was good too. 

But each attempt at completion through these external things left me feeling empty inside and could not satiate my appetite. Quite literally.

… Until I read the quote by Michelangelo that changed my life and showed me my purpose. When asked about how he could create the David statue out of just a simple piece of stone, he replied that it was easy; he saw the potential within the stone and simply needed to remove the layers that were hiding it all along.

A-ha!

I had been approaching my troubles by adding layers to my life in the form of clothing, men, candy bars, purses, you name it. And none of this excess really changed me at all. My physical and mental clutter just covered up the person that I wanted so despeartely to be.

I didn’t really want to be someone else, I really wanted to be the “me” that was dormant inside of myself all along.

So I first attacked the physical clutter that I didn’t need, use, or love. Then, I worked hard for several years to work on only eating and exercising according to what I needed, used, and loved.  After that it was about making my career about what I need, use, and love. And most recently it has been about removing completion expectations from my relationship.

All the while, it’s clear to see that I stopped looking outside myself for anything beyond gentle inspiration. Sure, I love how skilled Oprah was at delivering her gift, and how effortlessly Kendi gets dressed. But I never tried to be Oprah or Kendi.

As my lady Joyce Meyers has said, just recognize that in some way the blessings in people’s lives balance out the other negative things in their lives. If you knew everything that they went through in their lives to be where they are today, chances are you would not want to trade lives at all. I keep this in mind whenever those pangs of jealousy start to crop up when reading online and they seem to dissolve pretty quickly.

Though I’d love to be as influential and helpful as Joyce or Oprah, both were severely sexually abused in their childhood. Which is something I would never trade for the fame and popularity that came with their careers.

So I go back to focusing on my intentions for my life and the progress that I’m making. It’s about producing my own success story.

Therefore, for those who might be struggling with these envy pangs and the rat race of comparison, I beg you to study The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (or some other book that will help you focus on yourself), write a future letter to yourself that explains what you want out of your own life… and just keep working on YOU.

For the rest of your life, not just the next two weeks. Forever.

As Mrs. Meyers likes to repeat, “I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m doing okay and I’m on my way.”

Today I’m honored to announce that I’ve been asked to be a contributor for The Everygirl! The plan is to dish out life/balance/work/intention advice once a month.

Hop over to The Everygirl to see my three tips on balancing your work and personal life.

Recently a few people have asked what my daily routine looks like. And though I’m a person who loves a pretty decent amount of normalcy in my life, I don’t have a very tight structure on what I do each workday.

Because I work for myself, I am the only person to blame if I don’t like my job. With that in mind, I have created a few guidelines that I strive to live by to keep myself excited and less stressed.

• I do my best not to check emails on nights or weekends. There are exceptions to this rule now that I’m midnight hustling to get my business workshop off the ground, but if I’m not working on that project, I’m 99% of the time away from my inbox.
• I work between 9am and 6pm for Jess LC and MML. This rule gets broken if we have a trunk show on a night or weekend. And as mentioned above, with the workshop in development, that work is seeping into after hours. But right now the passion for the project makes it a fun thing to create, not a “requirement.”
• I get ready for work as if I was going to an office. Regardless of whether I have a meeting, intern, or am completely alone all day, I get dressed, put shoes on, and do my hair and makeup. I prefer to wear jeans most of the time but my outfit is cute, pulled-together, and makes me feel good.

As far as the actual activities in my workday, I traced my steps last Tuesday with my iPhone to capture what a “normal” day looks like. But since “normal” can be about 17 different things, I’ve also included a general overview of what else I might be doing at that time on any given day.

My Morning

I’ve been getting more intentional about my morning routine in 2012 and have made some good progress so far. The alarm goes off at 7 or 7:15am. In general I intend to read from The Course in Miracles right away before my thoughts have a chance to get worried or anxious.

After reading, I sit on the ground with a small candle in front of me and try to let my thoughts rest on things I’m thankful for and things that I would like help with through the day.

Currently I’m doing the reading and meditation about 50% of the time. Which is really encouraging, I have found that the days I do these two actions have overall been less stressful and simply more fun.

The other morning intention I have made is to workout every other morning. I go downstairs to my building’s gym to do weights and elliptical. In the summer, I run outside.

When I’m not working out in the morning I might spend more time with Mr. Lively eating breakfast and getting ready for our day. I love having the Today Show on and often follow it up by Joyce Meyer when I’m putting on makeup and getting dressed.

In the late morning I tend to get a few household chores done. I like to clean about once a week. I also love doing my nails and do them once a week in the late morning as well.

Generally somewhere between 9-10am I am done with my personal care and housework and sit down to officially start my workday. But to be honest, I’ve probably looked at my emails and maybe even answered a few around 8 or 9am.

My Workday Morning

Once I sit down to get to work, the first thing I do is plow straight into an MML post, or write a to-do list on TeuxDeux. This helps me reflect on all that I’d like to accomplish in the day and then put it in order from start to finish. As I accomplish my tasks, I cross them off the TeuxDeux.

Before or after the to-do list is made, I get to the MML post. I used to write them the day beforehand and while it was nice to be ahead of schedule, I find that I enjoy writing what you read the day you read it.

The reason the post is in the morning is because I feel that it is the most worthwhile thing I do each day. So no matter what else happens the rest of the day, if I shared on MML and helped someone, I know I fulfilled my purpose. And that is enough to make it a “good day.”

Around 10:30 Susie, my jewelry making assistant or interns come to the studio.

Right now Susie comes about three days a week and the interns are soon going to also be on a three day a week schedule. They stay between 11a-3p most of the time.

The nice thing about this is that it leaves me one or two days all to myself where I can leave my apartment and go to Next Door to do some work in a new location. And on Fridays I like to take things easy and do posts, emails, and orders in the morning and leave a bit early in the late afternoon to go to happy hour with Mr. Lively’s co-workers.

When the girls are in the studio I answer emails and design new collections while directing them in their duties. They each have a good understanding of what to do and how to do it, so by giving them their own mini to-do list, they can accomplish a fair amount without much oversight from me.

Susie makes orders, the girls (or myself if they are not there) pack them, and we answer any customer service requests. We also love to watch funny You Tube videos every now and then as well. As far as music, the girls get to pick while they are working.

Lunchtime for me happens at noon on the dot. By that point my stomach is rumbling. We chat through lunch and I usually look at blogs at that time as well. I don’t have a set time limit on lunch, I just eat, read blogs, chat with the girls, and then go back to work.

My Afternoon

After lunch I answer emails and make sure the orders are getting out the door. I also might have meetings, consulting calls, or consulting summaries to write.

Last Tuesday I took the orders we had to the FedEx store and then stopped by the grocery store for a few things to make dinner that night. This is pretty out of the ordinary for me, generally I try to not do any life maintenance during the workday, but rules are meant to be broken, right?

Towards the end of the day I took photos for the FLEA launch we had the following day.

Other things I do in the late afternoons include bookkeeping, more emails, and Twitter (I’m not great about responding very quickly to Twitter, but I do my best to respond to everyone).

By the time Mr. Lively gets home I am usually ready to wrap up the day.

My Evening

Though I’m not a big cook, I did successfully attempt my mom’s corn casserole last Tuesday night. Mr. Lively and I usually switch off cooking, cook together, or go out with friends in the evening. We also like our rotating collection of TV shows like Top Chef, Downton Abbey, and Modern Family.

By 10-11:30 we are in bed.

So there you have it. That is what my day looks like. I hope that by sharing this you have a better understanding of where I spend my time.

It goes without saying that I’m a huge fan of creating personalized intentions. I don’t think what I do is for everyone. I am not a night person, but if I was, I would be just as fine working till 3am and sleeping in till 11am.

Whatever works for you and your intentions is the most important thing to keep in mind.

On the coat tails of my post about my abs, I think there’s something I’d like to discuss a bit more.

The idea of being authentic online. 

There were many people who mentioned on that post that they enjoyed my authenticity here on MML. And I appreciate that so much. Those who may not have been reading MML for long might not really know this, but I try to be very honest about things that I go through. Though I don’t drag drama with friends, family, or other people here (I respect their privacy), I do explore my own learning curve in living an intentional life.

It’s actually kind of funny, now I only get surprised when people don’t automatically know that my life is not all sunshine and roses, and that I’ve battled a lot of tough stuff like smurgging, weight, growing a business, and a million other things. In fact, I actually made a conscious decision at the end of last year to be more positive here on MML and share the good things in my life as well as the negative ones.

And yet, for those who may be new to MML and not know all the back story, it might seem effortless for me. Or, those that have been reading rather consistently, might tend to forget the rough battles I’ve faced and focus on my stomach or a new product launch.

In fact, I think this is a common phenomenon that happens online while looking at other people as well. It is easy to think that super successful people (whatever that means) have it easy – or at least easier than us. That they either haven’t struggled, or that they did struggle a little bit and then “made it” and all their problems melted away.

But the thing is that as I’ve watched some of my friends do amazing things online, I’ve seen what it takes and all of their own flaws and humanity. So though it may be not so clear that what they do is difficult and not-so-pretty sometimes, the truth is that they have worked their asses off, faced financial risk and unknowns, felt heartbreak, and just kept going.

Additionally, I think that part of this disconnect from what people online seem like and what their life really is like comes from the incredible leaps in technology and prowess. Years ago when blogging began, not many people had access to incredible (and affordable) digital cameras, expensive editing programs, a network of friends doing amazing things worldwide, and a real understanding of how to share their story with the world. People were novices back then and things didn’t look quite as “pretty” as they do now.

We’ve come a long way and the content we create can simply be more beautiful looking.

And in an effort to present a polished brand, execute content at the highest level, and just generally keep improving their online efforts, it starts to look like they aren’t human anymore if they don’t take the time to tell us all the troubles they face behind the scenes.

Please believe me when your ego wants to tell you that X, Y, and Z have it all figured out that they don’t. They are just as clueless as they challenge themselves to new heights in their career as the rest of us. Sure, experience can vary immensely, and even fate can super charge the new kid on the block, but everyone is still struggling, hurting, and growing.

What’s more, I think that it’s easy for us to read the amazing blogs out there and think that the people are living a life of perfection. Some people might come off this way because they want to create the best content based on their topic as possible. They aren’t purposefully not sharing the ugly parts of their life because they want to hide it, it’s simply about executing a professional brand. People with insanely popular interior design blogs, for example, spend their time focusing on luxe interiors made by amazing designers rather than about their cystic acne, debt, or depression. It’s simply not on topic. Or they might want to keep their private life… private.

Fashion blogs can also be a slippery slope in this area as well. Such beautiful women with amazing style and wardrobes? I gotta do my best to keep in mind that there are a ton of other pictures that didn’t make the cut for their post that day. Same goes for Facebook photo albums.

Or, there are the people that we can look up to that we admire so much we block out the hard stuff they talk about and focus instead on all of their blessings. I know that I look up to Bri and sometimes think she’s “got it all figured out,” but then I remind myself that she recently shared this. Or, I can think that Joanna has a life of sunshine and roses and then I remember this. So this is all to say that we can also sometimes have selective memory and value their positives more than their negatives. When in fact their own personal experience of the negative parts of their life can be way more overpowering than we realize.

And finally, there is the last deception that is easy to forget: how much time, effort, and work goes into the execution of some of the highest level sites out there. While Alaina and Danielle launched The Everygirl yesterday to a huge fanfare, I’ve watched them create this site from just an idea while we were drinking wine a year or so ago to a full-fledged destination. They have worked from 8am to midnight recently in preparation for the launch and to still do their day jobs to support themselves. They have given the site every ounce of their life for the past several months and that hard work paid off. Which is fantastic, but also shows how much sacrifice can be involved as well.

Phew! I actually have no idea if this post is something that will help people or not. But the thought of anyone thinking that people doing awesome things online are any better than the rest of us is simply too much to bear.

We all have our unique contributions to the world, some might be more visible than others. But we all are human and we all are just trying to flourish despite the challenges we face – publicly or privately.

… And in other news, congrats to Jenny for winning the $50 credit giveaway from Elembee Creative!

One of the new projects I have alluded to recently involves live business workshops across the country. What was originally just a lofty idea in my mind quickly became more realistic after mentioning it in my new vision for my career. I got a surprising amount of encouraging feedback on the concept. So I’ve been researching to find out more about this possibility!

To help me get a better understanding of what you would want to gain from a business consulting workshop, I have created a simple eight question survey. This will help me discover the content that you’d most like to see!

For those that fill out the survey, I ask that they comment on this post. I will then take the email addresses provided in the comments and send a special thank you discount for the workshop once it launches.

Thanks so much for your support and for filling out the survey!

Tonight is the next Business in the City event! It is at 6:30-8:00 at 659 W. Diversey in Next Door’s back open space. I can’t wait to see everyone there!

For those who may not be familiar with Business in the City, it’s a meet up group I started in Chicago’s Lincoln Park/Lakeview area to provide business owners and those with business ideas a place to ask questions and get answers, advice, and encouragement. Lately we’ve had about 25-30 people coming each month. Oh, and did I mention it is entirely free and Next Door provides snacks, treats, and drinks?

Feel free to come and bring a friend too!

Our March event will be March 14th at 6:30-8:00.