Flashback! Today we have a good old fashioned DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview with a really cool guest: Anna Mitchael the witty author of Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am: How I Ditched the South, Forgot My Manners, and Managed to Survive My Twenties with (Most of) My Dignity Still Intact. After reading her honest and pretty hilarious story of how she survived her 20′s, I was shocked many times at the correlation between her life and my own- and I’m guessing many of you will see shades of your own experience in her story as well. In fact, if you are interested in winning a copy of her book, hop on over to the Summer (Home) Slim Down Challenge and enter to win.

After reading Anna’s story (you can read more of her work on her site as well), I was thrilled that I had the chance to interview her for the DYL series to find out what her intentions were post 20-something. It seems that she’s found a great outlook on life that I think we all can learn from. Not to mention that her (very) newborn looks adorable.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Anna Michael of Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am

Make eye contact.

‘Make eye contact’ sounds like something your mom told you before your first job interview, and there’s a damn good reason for that: Mothers know best. As a rather cynical person, I have a tendency to approach too many situations with my eyes ready to roll. This idea reminds me to be open to new thoughts, people and perspectives—and to keep from immediately rejecting what doesn’t easily fit into my view of the world. I also believe looking a person in the eye is a show of respect. It says ‘I hear you’ and ‘I realize you are worth my time.’ Even if the time is just a few quick seconds paying a few quarters at the toll booth or passing someone in a grocery store, imagine how much better this world would be if we all took the time to truly see and listen to one another, to treat everyone with just a tad more courtesy and care than is required in our everyday worlds.

Stay big picture.

I can’t tell you how many times a day I have to stop, drop and repeat this to myself. I’m chronically frustrated by the mundane. From doing laundry to paying bills—the little things can throw me for a big loop. It’s good for me to slow down and remember that the balance of my life only stays balanced when the small things stay small. And when it comes to one of the biggest things in my life—my writing—I find I can get off track for weeks (if not months) by getting too wrapped up in the nitty-gritty of publishing, focusing on a negative comment on my website or letting a few days of zero creativity throw me into a self-confidence crisis. Staying big picture reminds me that it isn’t about one review on Amazon, or a missed opportunity to write an article for a specific publication—it’s about the big picture of which words you put on the page, who those words reach and the difference you can make through the larger sum of your days and efforts.

Show me the honey.

Obviously money is necessary because (unfortunately) you can’t buy burritos with smiles (trust me, I’ve tried.) But beyond guacamole, living with money too high on the totem pole can get you into dangerous territory. I’d take the sweet truth of love, friendship or kindness any day of the week: Show me the honey, baby.

Fight for what you love.

It isn’t enough to have passion for the things you love. Whether we’re talking about people, places, things, or maybe even a passion for a way of life, if you aren’t willing to stand up for what matters for you and defend that which moves you, then there is the chance that those things could disappear, or even worse, be taken away. If it’s worth loving, it’s worth protecting; if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for.

Find your own answers.

Much of my twenties went down to chasing lifestyles, cities and achievements that I thought I was supposed to want. But no matter where I lived, what cool bar I hung out at or how many stiletto heels I tried on, I was never fundamentally happier for the efforts. I thought I could adopt the life choices that worked for other people (choices our culture deemed cool and desirable) and have them work for me, but that was never going to happen. Ultimately, I had to find my own answers. Hell, in some cases I even had to write my own questions in order to create a life that would truly make me happy.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

How exciting! Today’s DYL interview features Jill Vegas of Speed Decorating. She’s one of the first published authors we’ve had here for a DYL. I really enjoyed reading her intentions in part because she has already accomplished something many of us are interested in: publishing a book! Not to mention that the topic happens to revolve around my favorite hobby: decorating. Talk about a match made in heaven.

Reading Jill’s intentions and knowing all that she’s accomplished, I find myself inspired and encouraged: if she can do it, we can fulfill our intentions too.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jill Vegas, author of Speed Decorating

Family

I want it all! I want to have fun, adventurous date nights with my husband.  I want goofy, silly, playful time with my son. I want to be present and watch him grow and develop. As a family I want us to spend time together.  Quality time for us to grow together.  I want to make memories that are full of love!
I am committed to planning date nights once a week with my husband.  As a working mother I am still finding the balance. I found a Gymboree book full of simple, playful activities that I can do with him.  I am making sure that I take the time to have devoted time with my son!  I am scheduling and researching really fun and exciting outings we can do as a family.

Home

I want to make my home beautiful each day.  Picking up after myself, having good habits so that my home is clutter free.  By the end of each day I make sure I pick up.  Some days my husband and I have a hard time putting anything away. I want to come up with a game so that we both clean up and set a good example for my son.

I think it is so important to love my home right now.  It doesn’t cost anything to clean and straighten your home.  I recently needed a new wall unit in my living room.  The one I wanted was too expensive, but I found an awesome substitute at Ikea.  It makes me happy, I just need to get the rest of the doors on!!

Body

My body…I am nine months postpartum.  I have eight more pounds to lose  to be at my pre-pregnancy weight.  I recently signed on to do a 30 day challenge.  It involves exercising 5 days a week not eating after 9o’clock.  I have broken both of those promises.  But I am choosing to live in integrity and rat myself out.  It doesn’t feel good to not do what I said I was.  I feel much better when I am honest about it.  I am doing pretty good, but I can do better.  I am also learning to listen to my body. I made the right decision when I chose to go to bed early instead of work out, because I wasn’t feeling well.  It is a balance, and I am learning.

Career

I have recently started to make a shift in focus with my career.  I am a home stager and that is what I have been doing, with the hopes that it would turn into more.  And it is starting to turn into more.  I wrote my book and things are starting to grow.  I am working closely with a friend on developing a product line…woohoo!  I have also been talking about one of my dreams of having my own tv show.  I feel like I am in the middle of an exciting process. I am meditating daily and just floating downstream!  I am really grateful.

Money

I have financial goal of what I want to make by the end of this month. It looks like I am not going to make it. I am acting as if I have already have it.  I am actively seeking out work.  Working towards my goals!  I heard that Shakira said something like “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.”  I like that!

Right now I am shooting a piece for NBC Open House NY.  We are redoing the rec room of a New Jersey firehouse.  These guys are everyday heroes and they deserve to love where the hang out!  I am honored to be a part of it. My goal is to use my creativity to help people have a home that they love. I have been doing a lot of work to spread my passion.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

And now for today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE! I’m happy to say that I’ve got Tristan (aka “Miss B”) from Blah, Blah, Blahg here to share her intentions for her life. If you haven’t seen Tristan’s blog, you are missing out on great writing, photos, and absolutely adorable animal photos. Oh, and she is also a co-mastermind behind behind the big huge hit, The Bright Side Project. If you aren’t familiar with BSP, it’s time to hop on over and start commenting to win some seriously amazing giveaways. As for her intentions, I think she’s the first DYL interviewees to talk directly about being kind to herself, what a great intention to have right at the top of the list.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Tristan of Blah, Blah, Blahg

Be Kind to Yourself.

I know that sounds a little ‘airy fairy’, but as a person that is completely Type A, I can be very critical of myself,.  I would NEVER be as judgmental about another person as I can be with me.  I once emphatically denied being a perfectionist by stating, “I am not a perfectionist, I can never get anything perfect.” Yes, I am a little tough on myself . As I get older I realize that being kinder to myself will result in my becoming the best person I can be not just for myself but others.   Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break revel in  your accomplishments (no matter how minute) you will find being nice to you makes the world think you are 8lbs thinner and ten times smarter than you are.  Okay, I may have made that last part up but try it you never know you may like the new you.

Diversify.

There are people that will consistently tell you that if you don’t focus on ONE thing or you won’t get anywhere.  That’s just crazy talk.  If you were investing in the stock market you wouldn’t put your life savings on one company you would diversify.  It’s okay to have many interests and passions. Hone in on the ones you want to try to utilize to make a living with and keep the others for your hobby or just plain fun. I would consider myself successful and I have tried many interests for both career + creative outlets. I have had success in diverse careers such as a public relations Jedi, jewelry designer, parfmeur, designer, blogger and branding maven. If you truly love something pursue it, it may lead you to another avenue you may have never considered or you may just find that you love it but don’t want to spend your life doing it as work. For the record I intend on diversifying until I have no more energy/life in me.  I would love to add professional photographer, gig poster artist, miniature animal farmer, wife and mommy (amongst many others) to my list of things I want to do when I grow up.

Never Stop Being Delighted.

I started my Souvenir Foto School with the intention of getting my students in the habit of seeing the ‘extraordinary in the ordinary’. No longer would they pass by a wall, tree, person, etc and be oblivious, they would see a moment, an opportunity, beauty that previously was hidden.  I truly believe that life is beautiful and I try to revel in what others would consider mundane. It makes me feel rich and special that I can appreciate more than most, but the best part?  Anyone can develop the skill of being delighted and it’s free!  Next time you are having a bad day/life concentrate on all the things that are wonderful about your moment–Can you see? Hear? Feel?  Already you are ahead of the game.

Be Curious.

I feel like curiosity should be one of the five senses. Without it I might as well just pack up my bags and call it a day. I promise you if you maintain your curiosity, your life will be filled with wonder + magic.   I am constantly asking questions, reading, learning and trying new things.  I feel like having this insatiable curiosity works better than a strong espresso for getting me up in the morning.  Try it, you won’t be disappointed.  Money back guaranteed.

Thank you for this opportunity to share, (sharing is caring after all). If you wondering, yes I I think you are the bee’s knee’s and the best thing to come along since graph paper and French fries.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant is Jen of the popular style and home decor blog, MadeByGirl! I love Jen’s design perspective not only in blogging, but also in her booming online business. (I even have my own lemon colored Love poster in my bathroom.) Anyways, I have secretly had her on my list of DYL interviewees for a while and finally got up the courage to ask her to participate, and she said yes!

It’s very clear from following Jen’s business and blog that she really walks the walk when it comes to these intentions. They all align so beautifully with the life she leads and they translate so perfectly to her online presence, which is not always an easy thing to do.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jen of MadeByGirl

I have lots of intentions for my life, and believe me….I intend to get to most of them.

My Relationship

At this moment in my life my relationship is very important to me, especially since we recently got married.  People always say once you get married, things change….oh how I am so afraid of that.  I think things change as a result of what you do & don’t do. For me, I intend to always work on the little things that are important for love to keep growing between us.  There are many things about my husband that I love and I think it’s very important to show how you feel.  I do things like leave him a hand-written note, a text message or a mid-day phone call to his office to tell him I’m thinking about him.  These are the type of gestures I intend to keep making.

Growing My Business

My 2nd intention is to keep growing my business and maintain a successful online presence. I’ve always felt  that working for someone else wasn’t for me, but if i had to do it, I would. However, life has given me the opportunity to start my own business and I’ve been living my dream of being an entrepreneur for about 3 years now.  Having an online shop has been an advantage for the simple fact that people from all over the world have access to my shop. I love knowing that we get orders from Australia, Brazil, Canada & more. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to know that my products are being enjoyed by so many people and that keeps me going.

My Passion

Anyone who reads my blog knows my passion for home interiors.  Knowing that, my goal is to one day live in a home that I feel excited and thrilled to decorate. The truth is, my current home is very cookie-cutter and I don’t feel I can fully express my vision the way I’d like to in this space. Basically, my style doesn’t fit this house.  I intend to make it my goal to find that home where my husband and I feel suits our lifestyle…  Being in Las Vegas has presented a huge challenge for me. Homes are beautiful here but they lack character and charm, something I had been used to growing up in New York City.  It’s so important for me to make my home feel like it’s an extension of my personality and I definitely intend to do that in our next home!

Spirituality

Spirituality and God have been part of my life ever since I was a little girl.  Life is full of disappointments as well, so there has to be a sense of love & hope to keep moving forward. I’ve never lost my faith I just put things ahead of it. My beliefs make me feel good & always keep me from doing things I know I shouldn’t be doing. You know, bad things. I normally don’t have problems with temptations and peer pressures because I have such a leader type personality. I guess that is what also keeps me strong.

Being Healthy

Being healthy….let’s see, I try to eat healthy, exercise and remain as active as I can, but it never seems to be enough.
Before I got my online shop going, I used to go to the gym 2-3 days a week, now I am no longer going. I feel awful admitting this, but it’s true. The only physical activity I get is Yoga class once a week & walking my dogs around the city on the weekends.  I also know that being healthy is more than just exercise, walking, going to the gym and eating. Having balance in my life & feeling happy also makes me feel healthy and in shape. When I say in shape, I mean my my frame of mind, it’s focused and ready to take on whatever comes my way. Being physically lean all my life, I’ve been lucky that I didn’t have to work tremendously hard when I did work out. I do intend to be more physically active, because as I mentioned before, it’s all about balance.

Art

Art is a big part of my life….I adore painting my own work as well as purchasing artwork from artists I admire.  To me, a home isn’t complete without art, it really transforms a space. My favorite artists are Franz Kline, Mark Rothko and some paintings by David Bromley.  When I was young I wanted to be a painter and even though that isn’t what I’ve become, I am proud to say that painting is still something I look forward to doing.

Check out more DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is featuring the one-and-only Meghan of Meghan Radke Web + Graphic Design who designed the new Jess LC website. Her expertise, patience, and good humor through all of the little tweaks and changes we made along the way demonstrated her ability to stay flexible, persistent, and generally rock her career. So of course I wanted to know more about her intentions and how she stayed so chill while juggling tons of projects.

As you read her interview, you will also see that she’s a fantastic graphic designer and she’s turned some pretty big obstacles in her life into building blocks. A key trait of all the DYL participants.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Meghan of Meghan Radke Web Design

Method to the Madness

A couple years ago I got a phone call that changed my life forever: my fiancé called to tell me that he got into grad school and asked me to move to Los Angeles with him. What ensued was a whirlwind of job-hunting and house hunting. Thankfully, I found full time employment. It was a position as a graphic designer for a social stationery company in Los Angeles and I thought that it was the start to a good long career. Then several months later, I was laid off and the store closed. At the time I really was puzzled by what the universe was trying to tell me. Had I made the wrong choice in moving to Los Angeles? Was I not going to make it in my chosen profession? Then I came to a startling revelation: No, I was not meant to be a print designer as I had previously insisted. I was a web designer.

Getting laid off caused a lot of stress and madness in my life, but it also allowed me time to focus on what I wanted to do, gain more education in that area and finally launch my freelancing business. Truly, there is a method of the madness in our lives; we just have to be flexible and ready for opportunities as they rise out of the oncoming craziness.

Follow Your Gut

When I got laid off from my job, I was in despair. In a moment of madness, I reached out to a contact from the past and had the opportunity to work for a well known company as an intern. The position would begin non-paying, but had the potential to develop into a paid position later. My fiancé was really happy that I found something to fill my time with and potentially our bank account in the future.

I went to my first day with high hopes, but as soon as I set foot in their office, I knew it wasn’t where I belonged. I talked it out with lots of friends and family and all told me that I should just stick with it, but I just knew I shouldn’t. I quit and at that moment I felt such a sense of relief it was amazing.

Since that time, I look back on the times when I did and didn’t follow my gut instinct and I can say that the times I didn’t usually ended badly for me. Now I really try to make decisions not only based on what my brain tells me, but also by what my gut tells me, too. In the end, I know that I am happier for it.

Fortune Favors the Bold

My fiancé is a history buff and when we are driving around Los Angeles, which is often, he’ll play podcasts about various historical topics. One that really caught my fancy was about the conquests of South America. These crazed, half-starved, desperate men were up against forces unknown and often times outnumbered thousands to one and yet they battled through and vanquished their foes. Of course, we know now that it was pretty awful what they did and that they had superior weapons, etc. but I must admire their craftiness that was born of desperation. These stories led me to my new mantra: fortune favors the bold.

I am a naturally cautious person. I like to know things first and not be surprised. Yet, being a freelancer you will be chucked into situation where you can’t be cautious and careful, you need to be bold. Whenever I get into a situation where I feel a little nervous I tell myself to be brave and be bold. Though it’s a small thing, it really does chase away the butterflies that live in my stomach.

Know Thy Self

When I moved to San Francisco from Honolulu, I spent 3 months almost entirely alone. It was really difficult for me in the beginning since I come from a very tight-knit family, but during that period of time I learned a lot about being my own person and enjoying my own company. I went to movies alone and I ate alone; mostly I did this out of necessity, with no one around there was only me, myself and I. Yet, through these little exercises, I was taking the time to listen to my inner voice and get to know me.

Though I don’t know everything about myself, I do know more than I did before and this knowledge has helped me when I face personal battles and demons that pop up in my life. An added bonus I discovered is that I don’t feel alone even when I am alone. I have my own company and honestly, that’s fine and dandy with me.

De-stress your Life

Life is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you different. There are professional and personal struggles and sometimes the best way to sooth these woes is a big tub of ice cream and popping in your favorite rom-com.

I found that I was doing the above a bit too much when I was particularly unhappy with life and the added extra weight made me even more unhappy. Finally, I knew that I needed to get in shape and find another activity other than munching to shake the stress from my life.

Now, I’m not very athletic. I’ve never been and I never will be and I also know that if left to my own devices I wouldn’t exercise at all, so I found a great trainer to help whip me into shape. It was hard work, but I found that my mental cobwebs were starting to dissolve as I moved my body and got oxygen pumping. Just getting out and changing my routine a bit helped me to feel less stressed about all my troubles and figure out solutions to problems that were clogging my ice cream filled brain.

Celebrate the small things

One of the hardest things to do when you work for yourself is to stay on task. This is especially true when you work from home. It’s so easy to kick back and watch TV. This is one reason why I don’t have cable TV, to avoid the time suck, but even then the internet is a heck of an invention! Facebook, anyone?  So how do I combat this? I reward the small stuff.

Every little step towards an ultimate goal is a step in the right direction; so I give myself mini-rewards. A lot of times the rewards are myself patting myself on the back, but other times I’ll give myself a little something special to motivate me even more. When I obtain my small goal and get a gift for myself from myself, I won’t lie, I feel darn good and this motivational technique helps keep me focused on the big and small goals.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Those who have seen the new Jess LC lookbook might recognize Tieka of Selective Potential. Having met Tieka during the photo shoot and through reading her blog, I’ve come to admire her so much for her sweet, kind personality. No to mention her accomplishments in art school, her personal life, and the blog. So of course I wanted to learn more about how her intentions guide her actions. (I feel pretty lucky that I can just ask the people I admire to spill the secrets to their success through DYL interviews.)

After reading Tieka’s intentions, I really admired how honest and candid she was about her progress. I feel like she’s almost left us a road map of sorts to help us overcome some of the same obstacles she’s faced in the past.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Tieka of Selective Potential

Just go for it

I run a personal style blog, Selective Potential, and when I started – I had no idea where I was going with it… or how to even start, but I just went for it. I set it up the best I knew how and started networking and working hard. It was day in and day out on the blog, making it better each and every day and all of those hard working days turned into months of amazing success. I was so intimidated by such high powered fashion bloggers – I always thought to myself, “I could never afford that!” or “I could never pull that off.” It’s not about that. Running my blog – I just put myself out there – with my budget, my life restrictions and try to inspire others through what I’m able to do. I always try to put my best work into the blog – I truly think it all out – and then I just go for it! Most of the time, I get an amazing response from readers and truly feel accomplished with what I have done!

Be in control

I found that I used to “out of control”. I didn’t have a good grasp on time management, or what I should be doing with my life. I found that once I tried to make every second of my day count – the day ended and I felt amazing about how I spent my time and how the next day kept looking better and better! Last year, I lost 35 pounds following the Weight Watchers program. Prior to starting the program, I found myself stressed, busy, with no motivation to wake up in the mornings causing me to be even more rushed and busy, I’d grab food without thinking about it, I’d put off homework to sit on the couch and complain about how I didn’t have it all together. Until, I was tired of that lifestyle! And my weight was the biggest thing holding me down. As soon as I was able to control my daily diet with Weight Watchers, I felt I could do anything. Losing weight made me a better student, a happier wife, a more motivated person to clean the apartment or to be active outside. I’d think of each activity as a bonus for the diet and at the end of it all, I found myself having a blast being busy, and active because it was all things I wanted to do with my life.

Love your surroundings

I grew up with people who complained left and right about our state, our town. “It’s awful here,” “There is nothing to do,” “It’s freezing,” “I hate everyone here,” whatever their excuse, it was unnecessary. And I used to be one of them, until I embraced my surroundings. I live in Michigan – a place not too exciting to the outsider – but as soon as I immersed myself into my surroundings, I fell in love with living here. And being in love with your location and your surroundings, changes your entire outlook on life. My husband, Brett, and I now take monthly adventures around our state to explore something new. I always try to incorporate something unique about Michigan into my fashion blog, by surrounding myself by interesting sculptures or gorgeous scenery. I’ve even found that putting myself into these settings has helped inspire my fashion sense! I feel like whenever I look at an outfit I put together, I think to myself, “That is so Michigan – so perfect for my little beach town!” It’s amazing the fun you can find in where you live, instead of wishing you were always somewhere else. Love where you are.

Love who surrounds you

Surround yourself with genuine people. And most of the time, you’ll know if they are genuine or not. I used to surround myself with some of the worst people and I was never sure why. I knew they weren’t good people, but yet I still spent my time with them until after enough time passed – I still felt alone, like I didn’t actually have friends. I didn’t really get a good grasp on this until I met my husband, Brett. He was the most kind and most caring person I had ever met. Spending so much time with him makes me realize I wish I had spent more time with people like him my entire life. It would have been so much more fun and carefree and “drama”-free. He comes from an amazing family who makes my life so much more worthwhile. And granted, I don’t have many girlfriends – two very close ones – but I know they are both going to be there for me through everything. It’s not the quantity – but the quality of the relationships you have in your life.

Be passionate

I get countless emails from girls asking, “How did you get so many readers?” “How do you get so many comments?” “Why am I not getting comments or readers?” and my answer is always – don’t do something for others, always do it for yourself. When I started blogging, I had no idea what to expect. I blogged because I thought it looked fun, and it was a great hobby, for a keepsake – never to gain sponsors, or readers, or clicks, or whatever! In each one of my blog posts, I always think to myself – how do I want to remember this time period, what outfit do I want to wear while having fun, etc. Many of my blog posts back in November didn’t have many comments – but I put just as much hard work into those as I do now! It’s about yourself – if you’re not passionate about something, then it becomes a job and it loses its edge! So many people believe they can start something and it’s an instant success – it doesn’t work that way. I spent seven hour alone coming up with a blog name! I can’t even begin to tell you how many hours I’ve spent designing the layout, taking outfit shots, editing the shots, planning outfits, shopping, networking, commenting. It’s honestly a full time job – but it doesn’t feel like it because I love it so much. And this pertains to anything in life – whether it’s a blog, or a shop, or a class, or going to college – whatever. As soon as you look at it like it’s a chore, it’ll be a chore!

Every day counts

This was my motto when I started my “life change” January 1 2009, the first day I started Weight Watchers. Every single day, I made sure that every day counted. It would motivate me to wake up in the morning, attend that 8:30 AM class, make it count, to pay attention in class, to eat something healthy for that day’s lunch, and that day’s dinner, and to head to the gym afterwards – just for that night. I didn’t think about the upcoming weeks – how many countless hours I’d have to spend eating non-buttered popcorn or sweating around the track at the gym. I’d think about today. And by the end of it all – I was 35 pounds lighter, ran my very first 5K, had a straight A semester, was on the president’s list at college and the happiest I’ve ever been. After keeping up the “every day counts” mentality for over a year now – I’m graduating, with a studio excellence award, still at my weight goal, insanely passionate about blogging and still have those true genuine people in my life – and I feel like all of those “every days” made up some amazing successful months (and years!)

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DYL features one of the most sweet, genuine (and prolific) bloggers around: Holly from Decor8. As many of you may know, her awesome design blog is a constant source of inspiration for interior design and handmade goods, and her Blogging Your Way classes are also extremely popular. When I found out I had the opportunity to find out what makes Holly tick, in the form of a DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview, I have to say, I had goosebumps!

After reading through her interview, the gem I spotted immediately was the statement at the end of her fourth intention. But I don’t want to spoil it too soon, so read on to see what I’m talking about. Such a great insight.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Holly of Decor8

When it comes to intentions I have many but it’s not about merely good intentions is it? It’s about knowing and then doing. I tried to think about some areas in my life currently where I am putting my intentions to work because like everyone else I have lists a mile long and some of my intentions never reach the light of day. This is why I have been known to tell others to only list your top five goals at a time, work through them, and move on to your next five goals. It makes goals easier to reach and intentions become real things that you can point to and it feels really good! As you reach your goals, your self confidence grows and you experience less fear the next time you decide to tackle a goal. So to practice what I preach today, I will list 5 of my intentions. Maybe grab a piece of paper after you’ve read this, or even blog about it, you can play along and list your top 5 intentions and how you plan to turn those into real, tangible things.

First, because family is #1 to me, I intend to stay happily married forever and I so I tell my husband that I love him daily and do something nice for him — make breakfast, prepare lunch or dinner, or I go out of my way to spend time doing something for him that I know he will appreciate. We also take a walk every night, we call these times our “night walks” and this is when we walk and talk — about everything — openly and without judgment for an hour –sometimes longer depending on the weather. If it’s really warm out, a cone of ice cream may be involved. : )

The next intention is that I intend to be authentic, always. I want to follow my inner voice and reflect who I am inside on the outside because this helps me to stay on target as I’m frequently readjusting my priorities to navigate the waters — my inner compass never misleads me but I have to follow it. I find it challenging at times online when people cannot put facial expressions and tone of voice with my words but I want others to see that I am not only passionate about my topics (decorating, creativity, small business, blogging, community building) but I’m real, I’m normal, and I am who I am. Those who have met me in person know this but everyone else can only see what is presented online and I want others to feel like they “know” me, the real me, too. Again — a challenge online, and also a challenge in an environment where self-promotion is king, but I want all to know that what you see is really what you get. Even in my personal life — I want my friends to feel like they have access to all of me, not just the parts I want to show — but all. I also know that this is the only way to receiving unconditional love which is the greatest love of all in my opinion. If you only show what you want others to see then they love you conditionally, the moment you “let them down” the relationship ends. But if you are real and putting your true self out there then the love you receive is longer lasting and more satisfying because it’s love without condition.

My third intention goes along with the second: I want to go to bed each night feeling at peace with myself and like, somehow, I made a person happy or gave them something that they may not have had that day if it weren’t for me. I genuinely feel glad when I know that something I did impacted another in a positive way. I find that when I give I always get back emotionally in ways that money or fame cannot give me. There is a deep-seated joy and tranquility that I experience when I see how something I’ve done helped another. The only “negative” side to this is that I sometimes can get so wrapped up in my family/friendships and online friends that I can neglect myself. I’ll buy a new camera for my husband before buying one for myself or I’ll help someone online when I really should be spending time on a personal project. This is why I unplug now on the weekends and also why I have taken on a few projects offline that are very special and personal to me — the book I am working on and also the handmade market in my city with a very nice team locally. I’m learning balance and well… this leads me to the fourth intention…

Intention #4 has to do with my health. Emotionally and spiritually I intend to always work on these things daily in a variety of ways that are deeply personal and meaningful to me. Journaling is one way that I use to explore my emotional side and to dig deep. But I rarely spend the time on my physical health as I do on caring for my emotions and spirituality. I’m certainly not harmful to myself and I shower each day! ha ha! In fact, the first thing I do is shower and put on my makeup, set my hair in rollers (every single day, even though I work at home) and I dress pretty for my home-based business but I rarely make time to go out of my way for spa days, massages, acupuncture, inline skating, manicures  — and I usually only go to a salon for my hair 3x a year which is hardly enough. I really, REALLY need to learn to pamper myself more! So with that I joined a spa/gym and have committed to going daily beginning April 1 for one month 2-3 hours per day in the morning. I have already scheduled my month to accommodate my spa schedule. This isn’t about getting “fitter” as much as tuning in more to my body and learning how to relax. I’m going to use the sauna, exercise, order smoothies, lay on the deck on sunny days with a book, and enjoy every single day of April doing so. I also plan to make a salon visit in April, too and maybe even get a massage. After April, I plan to go 3x per week to unwind and make this routine more of a focus in my life. I also sold my car last July and so everything is done via foot or on the train — so now I’ve decided to get back into inline skating (I bought a new pair recently) and I’m on the prowl for a new bicycle – both activities will provide added benefits to my psychical health as well as emotional and spiritual health. I am determined to pamper myself more because at the end of the day my health is the only thing I’ve got — if that goes, what’s the point? You really learn this as you get older! There is no, “Tomorrow I will…” — one must replace that with, “Today I can…”.

I’ll wrap this up with a fifth intention (so your lovely readers don’t fall asleep). I intend to reach one of my childhood dreams — to write a book — and now that I have a book deal with a real publisher and everything (oh boy!) my dream is closer to seeing fulfillment. I wondered if I’d ever have the chance to see my name on the spine of a decorating book and soon I hope to see just that. We all have dreams and sometimes they feel really far away or even lost but oftentimes we just need to follow our passions and the dreams resurface. This is precisely what happened to me. So I intend to make this a book one that not only makes me proud but that also pleases my husband, friends and family and above all — the readers of decor8 who have supported me and who have been my loyal friends since the beginning back over four years ago. Back then, I had no clue that a blog would bring me even close to a book but now that it has I can see that staying on course despite the moments of self-doubt, fear, writer’s block, and the endless nights spent thinking, “Is anyone listening to me out there?” — by staying on course things have worked out for me. I always felt, especially in the beginning when I had about 15 readers, that even if no one listened that at least I was enjoying the process of talking about something so freely that I truly loved and that 15 was better than nothing and so I got to know some of those earlier readers and focused on being happy with what I had. I think a blog author really has to realize how precious each reader really is and work hard to deliver something that is meaningful to you no matter if you have 15 or 150,000 readers…

I have many more intentions that include becoming a mother (hopefully next year once the book is published), adding new features and such to decor8, and building the community of creatives here in my city — but for now, I’ll sign off and leave you with these.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today I’d like to introduce you to one of MML’s new sponsors, Heidi of the blog, To Be Luminous. Heidi is a life coach from Florida living in Prague (how cool is that?). Next week I’ll share more about her life coaching (including an exciting giveaway) but today, the focus is on Heidi’s intentions and the life she has designed.

Here are the two things that struck me about Heidi’s DYL, a) I felt like I know her and b) I wish we could be friends “in real life.” Anyone who follows her intuition and believes that the unconditional love of a puppy is equivalent to surrounding herself with amazing people is golden in my book.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Heidi of To Be Luminous

Be Authentic

We are all quirky and different.  I am a strange blend of an avid traveler, consummate home body, guilty-pleasure tv watching, spiritually minded life coach.  I love it!  When I was in the fourth grade there was a competition for the best handwriting and I looked at my chicken scratch and was positive I couldn’t win.  Lindsey (I still remember her name) had long red hair and perfect penmanship.  She won the fountain pen and I tried hard to write like her.  Fast forward to eighth grade, my best friend (also Heidi) had a lovely round bubbly handwriting.  It matched her “perfect” puffy bangs (I wish I had a picture of THAT to share). I tried and I tried to write just like her.  One day in college, I started writing naturally.  I wasn’t copying anyone, it felt fabulous!  My unique to me handwriting is now something I cherish because after twenty years of trying to be like everyone else, it represents a part of me that is uniquely mine.  It might take some of us longer than others to embrace who we are, but when we do it it gives permission to the people around us to do the same.  Everybody wins!

Flirt

Flirting makes people feel special and that’s always a good thing!  It brings out the best in someone and the fun in you.  My college roommates used to say that I’d flirt with a tree if I could and they were right.  For awhile I was ashamed of my inherent flirting, but as I watch the way it lights people up (men & women), I’m not willing to give it up.  We all have our own style.  One of my friends has a mega-watt smile that can stop anyone dead in their tracks.  She uses it on everyone and can warm even the frowniest heart.  I’m more of a teasing flirt.  I love to tease in a happy, loving, uplifting way.  But don’t lead any unsuspecting men on . . . that’s just mean.

Follow Your Intuition

We have this wonderful little guy inside each of us that somehow has it all figured out.  I love listening to him because whenever I do magic happens.  Not only do I avoid dangerous situations but my life opens up onto broad and beautiful paths.  My intuition led me to live in Prague, become a life coach, get my sweet puppy Harry and buy that red trench last spring (which I’ve now worn for 9 of the last 12 months).  I make time every day to listen.  For me, I use a combo of journal and my morning walk in the park with Harry.

Look For Beauty

I studied humanities in college and began my quest for beauty.  I love looking for the lovely even in the most unlikely moments.  I’ve learned that what I look for in life is what I find, so I make a point of finding the beautiful and dwelling on it.  This works in situations, on people, and all aspects of life- not just the visual.  When you meet a cranky person you can’t seem to connect with, try seeing what is beautiful about them and focusing on it.  It works!

Surround Yourself with Amazing People

I love to be with people who bring out the best in me and then I want to bring out the best in them too.  There are too many people in the world quick to cut us down and tear us apart, why voluntarily let them into my free time?  I also think having a dog is wonderful.  His smile melts my heart on even the toughest day and when I’m a bear and difficult to love, he still loves me.  It’s unconditional and don’t we all need that?

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! In honor of the spring weather we are having here in Chicago (with a high of 68* today!) I thought I would re-post one of the happiest and most colorful DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews we’ve ever had here on MML by Katie of Color me Katie. Enjoy!

(From July/9 2009)

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE (DYL) is about Katie of Color Me Katie, writer of one of the happiest blogs I have ever followed. Katie is a wonderful photographer and street artist (I suppose that is a good word for her random acts of kindness). This interview actually came about from a (first ever) reader request. Claire, a friend and MakeunderMyLife reader, told me about Katie’s blog and asked me to connect with her about DYL so she could learn more about Katie’s intentions.

Katie was extremely kind and agreed to sharing her intentions and some of her awesome photos. As I suspected, I was inspired myself to shake things up in my own routine after reading her thoughts. This morning I will not be eating cheesy oatmeal. It sounds like a small step, but I happen to have a serious addiction.

Read on!

Be creative

It’s important for me to express myself creatively every day. I have all of these fun ideas in my head and if I don’t get them out I’m pretty sure my mind would explode. Realistically, I’d probably just get frustrated and fall asleep. But explosion or no explosion, doing something creative acts as a therapy for me. I feel better after taking photographs, making street art, painting, or making wall sized collages. The messier and more sweatier I get, the better I feel.

Don’t grow up

Well, not completely anyways. I think it’s important to keep that little kid inside of you. I see a lot of people turn into grumpy old men that just complain about everything. I know that we’re all adults and we have important adult-like things to do but that doesn’t mean we have to let go of that playful side of ourselves. I’m still all about blowing bubbles, running around in the rain, and playing with my food and I always will be!

Break your routine

I hate the idea of getting up, eating breakfast, and going to work the same way every day. It eventually gets boring and I will not stand for boring! I want to wake up to a day that is always new, so I make sure I change it up a bit. First of all, who made this rule that for breakfast we should eat cereal. If I wake up and want spaghetti, I’ll make spaghetti. Whenever I leave the house I go a different way each time. I walk down a new street, ride the bus, take a different train, or hop on a forklift if I can find one! Even if it’ll take me longer to get there, I don’t care. I just always want to see something new.

Be Optimistic

It’s raining again? Wonderful! It’ll make the flowers grow. I got paint on my favorite coat? Great! I can turn it inside out, sew on new buttons, and make it better than before. There’s always a way to find something positive in a situation you would normally think was negative.

Give yourself a gift everyday

There are some days that can feel so long but it makes it a lot easier to get through if you give yourself a gift. I always like to give myself something little like a cupcake, a flower, balloons, or an iced coffee at my favorite cafe. It’s not expensive and it’s a lovely little pick me up during the day.

Be yourself

I’m not perfect, I know that. I have this thing where I trip at least once a day and somehow my dress will always find a way to fall down at the most inappropriate moments. I say the wrong things at wrong times and only have laughing attacks when I’m alone on the train, which makes me look like a crazy person. I used to be really embarrassed of myself when I was younger but now I find all these little things to be funny and they make me who I am. The next time my dress accidently falls down at a funeral it’ll fall with pride!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant, Liz of Sincerely, Liz, is also a new sponsor for MML. I’m excited to share her intentions and her amazing photography so that you all might get to know a bit more about her and her talents. As you will read, Liz has an incredibly kind heart. You can also follow her daily on her blog as well.

I’ll be taking her intention to give people the benefit of the doubt some serious thought in my own life. I can already think of a handful of situations where this is much needed. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Liz of Sincerely Liz

Positivity.

We all have bad times, right? Here’s my cure-all solution to getting rid of the darkness in your life: put some light in it. My light comes 100% from my faith in God, but I have a few things I practice regularly, in addition to my faith, to keep my chin up. One of the big things I have done in recent months is surround myself with positivity. This includes actions like unfollowing negative tweeters (tweeple? tweeps? twitter folks?), stop spending time with people that leave me feeling drained 100% of the time, give myself permission to let go of people/behaviors/habits that weigh me down. In addition, I started doing more positive things like sharing smiles with strangers, posting uplifting quotes on facebook, writing weekly Gratituesdays on my blog. It took me 26 years to realize that the banner in my 5th grade classroom really WAS right. “Attitude is everything.” I tell ya what, keep it positive and you can get through anything.

Use your talents to give back.

I truly believe God has given us all talents that we should use to bless others. Not only does it lift up and help the people around you, but giving to others is enjoyable! It’s all a big, happy cycle of blessings and I think it makes life a bit better.

Give the benefit of the doubt.

I have two questions I ask myself before I speak. Okay, realistically I ask myself these questions as often as I can remember. Which is not ALL the time. But, I really, really try. Question one: Is what you are about to say going to negatively impact anyone? If so, don’t speak. Question two: Are you simply observing out loud or is what you are about to say productive? Someone once told me that he didn’t speak much because he realized that almost everything he would say was simply an observation about life. “She said this,” “We went here,” etc. For someone who has a mouth that has gotten her in a lot of trouble in the past, this was an amazing concept. One that I adopted for my own life from that day on.

I don’t know if it was the way I was raised, or the culture I grew up in, or simply my sinful nature, but I have had a lifelong struggle with judging others. I find that my mind is assuming things about other people based on the tiniest glimpses I see of their lives before I even have the opportunity to process what I’m seeing. I am continually coaching myself (in silence) to STOP assuming and judging others. The way that I do this is to always think “what if that were me? What if what the person was saying, doing, or behaving like… what if that were me? What could possibly justify what I was witnessing?” It’s a continual thing for me, but I genuinely strive to someday reach a place in my mind where judgments never, ever happen.

Holy moly. I feel extremely privileged to bring to you the DESIGN YOUR LIFE intentions of none other than Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design! As many of you interior design buffs know, Summer’s portfolio and personal home tour have become inspiration for many, many homes across the blogosphere. In fact, her home was actually the inspiration for my own home decor with Kelly + Olive months ago as well.

So without any further delay, I give you a peek inside Summer’s extremely talented brain.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design

Take Risks

If you never take a risk, you’ll never have an opportunity to really succeed.  Overcoming obstacles, enduring setbacks, and truly taking leaps of faith are what give you the courage to do so in the future.  If you live within your comfort zone, you’ll never experience anything unique, spectacular, or adrenaline-rushing!  Don’t let fear hold you back.  I had to quit my job and basically go 100% commission (on my own) when I started my business.  Scary at the moment, but looking back it was so apparent that it was the right decision.

Gain inspiration from outside your ‘bubble’

We all live in somewhat limited cultural bubbles.  We have our limited group of friends, we live in a certain neighborhood or city, and we are rarely exposed to truly original experiences.  Travel serves as my main inspiration and boundary-stretcher.  Last year was a whirlwind of travel and a lot of fun.  I traveled to India, New Orleans, New York, Kentucky, Miami, and LA in an effort to expose myself to other cultures, experiences, and design inspiration.  India was certainly the most culturally shocking experience.  While there on a service project, I was reminded of how fortunate and blessed I am, and at the same time I was gaining new appreciation and understanding for cultural elements that I would use in my career.  I came back with a love of block prints, a passion for jade, and an increased interest in new color schemes.  Another example was the Miami trip which was a short vacation.  It was also an opportunity to visit the Viceroy & Tides hotels which were designed by Kelly Wearstler as well as the spa at Icon Brickell which was designed by Philippe Starcke.  I left relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to create again with some great inspiration from two premiere designers.  In 2010, hopefully I’ll be headed to Paris for some serious flea marketing…

Do what you love

If you don’t love what you do, do something else.  Even if you have to take a pay-cut, even if you have to ‘start over’, do whatever it takes to do what you love.

Better bold than boring

Stand for something.  Anything.  In design, indecisiveness is the death of a great room.  Beige walls for instance, are oftentimes the result of indecisiveness.  Sure they don’t offend anyone, except me perhaps, but they also don’t say anything about the home owner.  The same can be said about a slew of ‘acceptable’ decisions in life.  Maybe this is the same as #1 (take risks), but its more about identifying who you are, and being proud of that.  I’m working on a design for the DreamHome in the Merchandise Mart that opens this April.  Some of the people who see it are going to think it is over-the-top, and they’re absolutely entitled to that opinion.  But my hope is that others will find it over-the-top in an utterly amazing, challenging, and completely original way (that they love).  And even if the latter isn’t the majority, those are the ones I hope will want to work with me in the future.  I would rather my rooms inspire thought and discussion, even if negative, than tired yawns of boredom.  You can’t please everyone, so why try!

Do something good for someone else

If you can, find ways to use your talents & natural gifts for a higher purpose.  It’ll be more rewarding than even the most profitable business venture.  And if you’re blessed financially, look for opportunities to use those resources for someone/something that really needs it.  Make it a priority, and your life will be changed forever.

(To get Summer Thornton Design updates, visit her facebook page.)

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DYL features Brigitte of the blog, Covet Chicago. I first met Brigitte via comments and email, and later in person when she stopped by Macy’s during one of my trunk shows. We hit it off right away and I am incredibly grateful for the insights Brigitte had for MML. Before speaking with her, it never occurred to me that I might need to do a quick recap on how I found my purpose. And thanks to her suggestion, many people feel like they understand my story much better now.

I also had a feeling that Brigitte’s own personal intentions would be helpful for MML. And this single line from her intention to “know when to draw the line” is going to stick with me for quite a while, “my actions matter more than my intentions.” What a true statement. No matter what we vision boards we make, mantras we repeat, or businesses we dream about, until we put one foot in front of the other to make those goals become reality, we are going to sit as Henry David Thoreau said, in quiet desperation. Thank you for this awesome insight, Brigitte.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Brigitte of Covet Chicago

Live Your Values Daily

I admit…this first one sounds pretty vague. But it’s the most powerful of my intentions, because by forcing myself to sit down and define my values and map my life goals according to them, I have a roadmap for life. I read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People at a time that I was on the path to conventional success (good job, rapid promotions, increasing salary and responsibility) but utterly unhappy. As I read, I really worked the book, dedicating my precious free time to the exercises. One that was particularly powerful for me came early. I had to envision my funeral and write my own eulogy. In imaging what I’d like my family, friends and colleagues to say about me after I lived my (hopefully long) life, I was able to clearly define my values. And I knew that if I wanted other people to describe my life according to my values, I’d have to live them every day. So my first and more important intention is to revisit my values every year and hold myself accountable to them.

Act Like Nobody’s Watching

I am the classic perfectionist, complete with the intense fear of failure that often accompanies this lovely trait. I cannot count the times I have passed up opportunities, because I was afraid to make mistakes, be the worst in class or simply to avoid scrutiny. On top of this, I was bullied as a child. I think that all adults who were once bullied hold onto a feeling that others are constantly watching them…waiting for them to slip up so they can exploit your failure for a laugh. About five years ago, I had a supervisor bluntly tell me, “It’s not all about you. No one cares one way or another.” I was liberated! No one cared if I succeeded or failed. My family would love me regardless, and other people…simply wouldn’t notice. So many of my current passions and hobbies were made possible by that simple, incredible statement.

Be Brazen…

I’m not quite committed to radical honesty, but I come pretty close. If I don’t like something you say or do, I won’t smack you in the face with it, but I won’t lie and say, “Ooh, I love that” or “I agree” when I don’t. Generally, I just keep my mouth shut. This makes me the worst person to fish for compliments with…because I’ll only take the bait if I actually believe in the compliment I’m giving. On the other hand, my friends know that they can come to me for the truth…and I’ve been told it makes my compliments that much sweeter.

But despite this habit in my daily life, I’m much more reserved when it comes to my writing and even how I define myself. Right now, I’m testing my personal limits, and I’ve let loose a few posts that feel like I’m crossing some sort of line on the public/private divide. But I’m finding that the posts that make me feel twitchy are the ones that I’m also most proud of. So…I’m daring myself to be as brazen in my writing as I am in person.

…But Know When to Draw the Line

This is where I admit that I’ve suffered from low emotional intelligence. I went all the way through college not understanding why some of my friends were “so sensitive.” One friend, in particular, would try to explain to me why my words were hurtful, and I simply didn’t get it. Of course I was kidding when I said xx (I really was). And, no, I guess I wouldn’t like her to point out yy fault of mine (but I only did it for the good of our friendship). I honestly couldn’t understand where she was coming from.

It took me 28 loooong years to figure it out. Some things just don’t need to be said. And whether or not I understand why something is hurtful (because it wouldn’t upset me) simply doesn’t matter in the end. My actions matter more than my intentions.

Always Offer a Helping Hand

When I was starting my career in PR (since abandoned!), I was helped by total and complete strangers. People I’d never met before went out of their way to meet with me, give me advice and introduce me to yet more strangers. I will never forget their generosity. That’s why, if someone asks me for my help, and I truly believe I can be of service, I don’t hesitate. I’ll review resumes, run through my rolodex or simply share some of the tricks that have worked for me. I’ve also worked an annual giving allowance into my budget, which is my way of saying thank you to the universe. And I’m ALWAYS willing to help a friend move or paint if there’s a slice of pizza and bottle of beer on the table.

Choose Joy for Yourself and Share it with Others

Would you believe me if I told you that I used to be a total drama queen? And a pessimist? I’m proof that you can change your outlook on life, simply by choosing to live the life that makes YOU happy. Not the life that others prescribe for you. I’m still a snarky girl (and I wouldn’t give it up even if I could), but I’m also a profoundly grateful and happy girl. I know that I can choose to seek out activities and books and even blogs that make me smile…or ones that trigger my heightened sense of outrage. Jess’s purpose in life is the makeunder philosophy. Mine is helping others realize that there are no safe choices…only ones that resonate deep within you and those that don’t. Always choose joy.

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant was selected in a rather unusual way. I first learned about Erin, her blog (Just One Week), and her story based on her comment she shared last week on Ashely’s Dream Report Week Three.

After reading about her life, I knew she would have a lot of insightful intentions to share. Boy was I right! Take a look below at some of her intentions. I can honestly say that I relate to so many of her experiences, as I’m sure you will too. And I am now taking stock of my own life and determining whether I have any “creep” areas that need attention or observation. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Erin of Just One Week

Don’t Creep, Decide.

When we first started dating, my husband told me that the thing he most fears is creep.  He defined creep as the act of moving from one thing to another without conscious decision.  He told me that he thought creep was the reason people were unhappy in relationships and unhappy with their careers.  He described friends’ relationships that creeped from casually dating, to long-term dating, to living together, to marriage – all without conscious decision making.  The same can be seen in people’s careers – you are miserable in your job, but you keep getting promoted or it is too difficult to leave, and so you stay and creep along.  You simply move on to the next expected step without actually deciding to make that step.  Needless to say, there has been very little creep in our relationship.  Before we moved in together, my husband initiated conversations on chores, fighting, parents, etc. all before moving day; but that doesn’t mean my entire life has been free of creep.

People Will Support You

When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor.  However, after two years of pre-med classes in college, I was passing but unhappy.  And yet I continued to creep from semester to semester.  I started to realize that my roommate would talk incessantly about her classes – she was passionate and interested in what she was studying – whereas I could barely tolerate my courses.  One night I stayed up until 6am writing my parents a letter discussing the reasons why maybe, just maybe, medical school was not the right path for me.  I called them  and read the letter the next morning.  To my shock, my father congratulated me on my decision (I didn’t know I’d made one!) and my mother expressed relief that I was changing my major.  Walking into the dean’s office that afternoon to drop my classes and change my major was exhilarating; I realized that I could control my life.  So often when we are wrestling with a big decision, we negatively (and inaccurately) anticipate other’s responses and judgments, which hinders us from making the right decision for us.  I remind myself that people WILL support me and don’t let fear of judgment (often unfounded fear) paralyze me.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Changing my major empowered me to look at other aspects of my life.  Well into my second year of college, I was terribly self-conscious and quite uncomfortable in my own skin.  In my homogeneous group of friends, I felt like I stood out – in the wrong way.  I’d always wanted to become more confident, but I didn’t know how.

Like most college campuses, while walking to class there are several student organizations looking for members or soliciting attendees for their events.  One night, I passed a friendly guy who was looking for people to join a Step group.  According to wiki stepping or step-dancing is a form of percussive dance in which the participant’s entire body is used as an instrument to produce complex rhythms and sounds through a mixture of footsteps, spoken word, and hand claps.  I told him that surely his group did not want an albino (Chicago winters are rough!), rhythm-less, awkward girl in their group.  He persisted, and I signed up.  I am a square with very precise ninety degree angles – if I sign up, I show up.  And so I became the sole white female in an African-American Step group!

If I felt self-conscious and uncomfortable before – my first day of Step practice quadrupled that feeling.  I was the only white person.  I was the only non-practicing Christian (they prayed before and after practice).  And most awkwardly, I was the only person who could not dance.  (It required several glasses of anything before I’d even dance at a crowded frat party).  But everyone was incredibly nice (people WILL support you) and with each practice I felt more and more whole.

After several months, it was time for our big show.  I had to tell my roommate that I’d joined a Step group (she kept walking in on me as I was secretly practicing in our room) but I’d hidden the group from everyone else.  My roommate wanted to come to the show and wanted to bring our friends.  I protested – claiming that I didn’t want our friends (who are predominately Jewish) to be offended by the overt Christianity of the show.   My roommate could see through my lame excuse and knew that I was worried that our (incredibly kind) friends would laugh at me or judge me.  My roommate knew that People WILL Support You, and so as I stood on the wings of the stage, I could see that my entire family had come into town and they were sitting with several of my sorority sisters.  And they did support me, and they still do.

It is not realistic (nor healthy) to spend your entire life stepping outside of your comfort zone.  A comfort zone is NOT a bad thing.  But every couple of years I try to do something that really challenges me and targets my weaknesses.  Psychologists use exposure therapy to treat phobias.  If you are exposed to something that you are scared of, and survive, it is no longer as frightening.  Dancing, sober, on stage, without music, in front of hundreds of people – I was scared.  And I survived.  Stepping outside of my comfort zone gave me confidence in myself and in my friendships.  It woke me up.  It invigorated me.  I haven’t Stepped (nor been on stage) in the 10 years since the show, but now I dance all of the time – even when sober!

Embrace the Present

People often declare that either high school or college were the best years of their lives.  I find this incredibly depressing as it shouldn’t be all downhill after 22.

As I left college and entered “the real world,” I inevitably encountered some trying times with bad jobs and bad relationships, but I would try to reflect on my mother’s habit of embracing the present.  My mom has always had distinct reasons for thinking that whatever age she was at was superior to any she’d yet experienced.  She would say that her 20′s provided freedom, her 30′s provided stability, her 40′s provided money, and her 50′s have provided time (presumably to enjoy her freedom, stability and money!).  She has always loved birthdays, celebrating each year with great fanfare.  She never lies about her age or complains about “being old.”  She has given me a great gift in that while I may mourn the passing of time, I do not mourn the fact that I’m aging.  Besides, it would be a waste of time (of the present) to fret about something that is inevitable.

Good morning! Today’s DYL is written by a very dear friend and mentor of mine, Vicki of Heavenly Metal. I first met Vicki as a college sophomore. Her adorable and unique boutique, Heavenly Metal, in Ann Arbor, Michigan was one of the first stores to carry Jess LC. Through working with Vicki via my jewelry, and eventually working for her shop part-time, I learned about self-employment and life. Vicki is always ready and willing to impart her advice in an incredibly authentic and honest way.

When I struggled with Jess LC during the first six months in Chicago, she was the only person I could seriously rely upon for business advice. Only Vicki shared my entrepreneurial spirit and understood what was at stake, and what could be gained. When I eventually asked her if it was time for me to throw in the towel, she immediately scoffed and said I had to give it at least one year. And so I took a deep breath, and did just that. Thanks to her long-term perspective, Jess LC is where it is today.

So with no further ado, I give you a peek into Vicki’s wonderful and inspiring life.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Vicki of Heavenly Metal

I have a degree in film from the University of Michigan which I put to use for a number of years. After volunteering for the Ann Arbor Film Festival for 10 or so years, I became the Festival Director, a position I held for 15 years. I thought it was my career job, but it didn’t work out that way.

Simultaneous to running the film festival, I cut hair in my little storefront business, Vicki’s Wash & Wear Haircuts. The festival office was in the back room of my haircut shop. When the festival moved out, I began selling Kathryn Arnett’s recycled metal artwork and some locally made jewelry. Word got out that there was a new store in town, so I came up with a name and started attending trade shows to bring in more product…and that’s how my gallery/gift shop Heavenly Metal was born!

Ten months into my new career I was diagnosed with breast cancer and spent the next year and a half undergoing very aggressive treatment that made me quite ill. I was unable to work because I was at high risk for infection. Fortunately friends kept my business going and the community graciously raised funds for me, as I ran out of money. Now it is 7 years since diagnosis and Heavenly Metal has become my dream come true!

I love going to work every day….my shop is cheerful, filled with unique handmade art, jewelry, bags, apparel, shoes….it’s very comfy and cozy and I feel lucky to be earning a living making my shoppers happy. Plus I get to bring my precious Lucy, an 8-lb Papillon, to work with me every day! With the relief of cancer behind me, and the knowledge I have gained owning a retail business, I’ve created a huge intention: take my business to the next level so it can gain national attention. Why keep it a hidden local treasure? This means learning about facebook and twitter and staying current with the store’s online store and blog: so much work for one little person to take on! If anyone has suggestions for me to make my intention come true, please share your thoughts! I’m soooo excited to make this work for me!

Embrace who you are.

I grew up in an unconventional family. There have been many many situations where I’ve felt awkward, where I obviously didn’t “fit in” because I’m not suburban, I’m not conventional, I’m not christian/catholic. But what I am is very deep-seated in me because of all those things I am not. I grew up in a city that had a strong mix of black and white, poor and middle class. My family embraced all (well as long as they were of the same politically liberal belief system as us) and never knew we were different from those around us.

Being different is good.

Not being like the status quo is good and its empowering. I appreciate that my upbringing exposed me to culture, politics, art, music, counter-culture, “free-thinkers”….in fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way! What I learned growing up has made me an open-minded and out-going person who does not fear because of innate mistrust in people. And check this out: I’ve never had harm come to me because of it!

It’s a total waste of time to feel sorry for yourself.

I do have regrets. I attended the wrong high school. I attended the wrong college. I didn’t fully embrace my summer abroad as a junior in high school. I smoked too much pot. I chose the wrong guys. I never left my college town. I made poor choices in my marriage. Shoulda/woulda/coulda. But when I start thinking that way, I remind myself that it’s ridiculous and a waste of time to feel regretful and sorry for myself. When I become envious of people who have great marriages and families, no financial worries, a fireplace and a piano in their house…maybe even a cottage on a lake….I remind myself that it is just silly to feel envious: I made the choices that put me where I am today. Besides, I have two toilets in my house, no difficulties keeping the heat running, a refrigerator full of food, and wonderful wonderful friends: I’m wealthy!

When feeling like it can’t get any worse, remember there are people who have it way worse.

I had breast cancer. I’m fine now, but for a year and a half I was very very sick. When closing in on the end of treatment and the beginning of recovery, many people told me I was their inspiration. I was completely dumbfounded because I didn’t feel like I’d done anything extraordinary, except to live treatment day in and day out, as was necessary. Now that I’m 7 years past all that, I remember that when I was feeling I couldn’t feel any worse, couldn’t have possibly been any sicker, I’d remind myself that there were so many others who had it much worse than me. That is the way I live day-to-day and with the world….but it was pretty brilliant to embrace that when I was sicker than anybody around me.

Life doesn’t come to you, you have to go to it.

It’s a waste of time to sit around wanting, wishing, hoping, dreaming…..if there’s something you want you have to make it happen because it’s not going to wind up unannounced in your lap. Life is hard work. To be who you want to be, to have what you want to have, you must create it, find it, make it happen….willing it for yourself is just unrealistic.

Work hard. Play hard. Relax hard.

Having work is absolutely the most important thing in the world. OK, good health, love, friends, a roof over one’s head…those are just as important but having a reason to get out of bed every morning is crucial! But just as important is being able to play….and to relax. I strongly believe in integrating work, play, and down time into my life….I may not be able to do that every day, but each one requires the other. I feel grateful for knowing and embracing that.

Make the best out of where you are.

I own a fabulous store during the hardest economic times I’ve ever experienced in my 59 years. It’s scary. I have no one to fall back on: it’s all me and nobody else. But I love my business (as do the people who walk into my store) and I thoroughly love what I’ve chosen as my career. I gave up a wonderful career in my early 50′s due to circumstances, a career I felt I’d be with my entire working life, but it didn’t work out that way. I fell into what I’m doing now (though it had always been a dream of mine) and though it’s more work than I’d bargained for, and it’s tough tough tough given where I’m located and the economy of my State, I love the task at hand. I’d love to be closing in on retirement, but that’s not going to happen so I am living my creed and making the best of what I’ve got!

Be happy. Get a dog. Like your work. Don’t waste your time with people you don’t completely love and respect. Don’t burden yourself with the things that didn’t happen.

Good morning! Today’s DYL is brought to you by none other than Ashley, the new MML Dream Reporter! After last Saturday’s resounding support for Ashley and her dreams, I am sure her intentions will be a huge hit as well. And I cannot thank Ashley enough for her quick turnaround on this piece (thank you again, lady!).

After reading her intentions, I think I might print my own “no complaining” paper for my wall. It sounds like a huge success. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Ashley

When Jess asked me to to a DYL interview I paused for a moment and thought “but I am in the middle of making huge changes in my life…I haven’t accomplished anything great yet…I don’t know what intentions I am successfully living at this point.” The fear monster took over for a few minutes then my rational mind took back control and I decided to make a list of what I absolutely know to be true in my life…and I could barely stop! I made a huge list! But to keep this simple I picked the four that I believe are the most significant in my life. And again, this is what I have learned through MY life and MY experiences….it doesn’t make it right for everyone.

No whining, complaining or gossiping

A few months ago I took a course called “Uplevel My Life” by Christine Kane (LOVE her!!). The class was all about creating your own reality with intention and creativity. The very first assignment in the 7 week class was to sign a “Complaint-Free Contract.” At first I thought…ok this is silly, I feel like I am in 2nd grade Sunday School. But I did it anyway – after all, to keep doing the same things day after day and expect different results is insanity…and I wanted different result really bad!  So I did it, I even got my fiance’ to sign it as well. I didn’t realize the impact not complaining would have on my life. It was huge! I realized just how much time and energy was going in my life to whining and complaining and focusing on all the negative stuff. I realized that when you stop doing those things you open up the space to allow for more positive stuff…abundance, happiness, kindness, even empathy. And I also realized that culminating negative energy is just plain exhausting. Now, I am no saint – there are still times when I bitch out the driver in front of me – but my life is much more peaceful than it ever was before. It may seem like an “airy-fairy” concept but for me it has been extremely practical. My life runs so much smoother when there is no complaining involved. It leaves space for the goodness to flow.

get very very very clear

I am still in the beginning stages of living a life with intention. I am just starting to create the life I dream of living. Do you want to know the first step I took to help me get a jump start into action? I got very, very, very clear. I took some time so sit and imagine and then document exactly what I wanted to BE, to DO and to HAVE in my life. I imagined what it would feel like to wake up to see that something I had created had sold while I was sleeping. I imagined what it would smell like to sit in a room with a group of women who are just as passionate about living life intentionally and with compassion as I am. I imagined what it would taste like to have an organic lunch in a beautiful diner with a challenging mentor. I imagined what it would feel like to fit into a pair of jeans that didn’t require me to secretly keep the top button undone all day. I imagined what my life would look like to wake up each morning excited about the day and to be at peace with my current situation.

I avoided getting clear for years. It seemed much more fun to start a new life venture with a huge action item that would produce immediate results. I would have much rather done that than take a step back and actually get completely clear. But for me, along with clarity comes the decision to take responsibility for my life, it means that I am able to make decisions and choices from my purest place – my heart, and it also contributes to a huge feeling of empowerment in every circumstance I face.

Getting clear started the ball rolling in the direction of my dreams. It was almost as if getting clear magically told the universe to start moving on my behalf. My clarity became the antidote to my fear monsters. I honesty feel like it has made magic happen.

create your own rules

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can thank my mom for this one. She taught me at a very early age that I can be whoever I want to be and to never let anyone tell me I can’t. And probably because of that (and possible a bit of my personality) I have never ever followed the rules…and gotten into a good bit of trouble! One thing that devastates me is to witness a person live their life without believing they have options. Most of these people just look around and do what everyone else is doing. They don’t realize that there are unlimited possibilities in any given situation, even when it feels like there aren’t, and that they can do or be anything that they want to do or be.  For many years I was involved in a spiritual organization that suffocated my uniqueness and individuality. They told me that to be great is to be like so-and-so and to be worthy and holy and pure is to think like so-and-so. Certain people were put on a pedestal and all the others who didn’t make it were left to wonder what the hell was wrong with them. Eventually I reached a point within my own heart where I realized what was happening and I moved away from that way of thinking. I was allowing someone else to tell me what was right and wrong for my life and to create the rules that I was living by. Largely because of that situation I now see that every single person is different and that is good! If everyone was the same this world would suck pretty bad.

Along these same lines I am currently engaged to the sweetest boy alive (I honestly think so!). We are planning to get married this year (or maybe next -who knows, there are no rules, right?) but as I have been planning my wedding I have been thinking a lot about how important it is to create your own rules. The rules tell me that I need to have bridesmaids and a cake and a diamond ring and pocketfold invitations and to walk down the isle while holding flowers with my man waiting on me to arrive at the other end. When I really think about doing those things, and I mean really feeling what it would feel like to be that person, it just doesn’t feel right to me. Having bridesmaids would feel really odd to me, putting an invitation in an envelope within another envelope and then a pocketfold kind of seems even more bizarre….and walking down an isle with my love waiting on me would feel even weirder….aren’t we in this together? Isn’t this a day for us share our connection and love with the world and commit to love each other forever? It’s not that I think those things are bad at all… I love weddings and, as a designer, I do a ton of invitation designs that include all of those “traditional” elements. But I can’t help to think to myself, what would my life look like if I didn’t realize I could create my own rules? Would I really be happy? Would I ever believe that I am ok exactly as I am? What I see unlimited possibilities? I doubt it.

So thanks mom!

never ever ever judge

It is SO easy to judge. I caught a glimpse of The Bachelor a couple of weeks ago and I almost threw up in my mouth. I sat there for a few minutes talking to myself about how insanely insecure and stupid these women seemed to do something that appeared to me to be so degrading. But here’s the thing. I don’t know their story. I have no idea what their lives have been like, therefore I have no idea what their thought processes are and why they make the decision they make. Ive learned that when I approach people who live their lives differently than I live mine to always remain open to their story. I honestly have no idea what they have been through and more than likely they are doing the best they can.

I have my own story. It is because of the bizarre elements of my story that I have learned to be open to the fact that although people are influenced by their stories, they are NOT their past. The experiences of my life have had a huge influence on the things I do, say and believe and I feel that the same is true for everyone else I encounter. I really can tell a difference when I encounter a person who is experiencing me for exactly who I am and not judging or critiquing my every word or move. That’s the kind of person I want to be to others. Being open and willing to let go of labels and stories has allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life and in all types of circumstances. Being open to the goodness of humanity rather than getting caught up in judgments creates so much more room for connection and collaboration.

I kind of feel like for me judgment always comes back to insecurity. Its a comfortable way to size up my life and make sure that I come out on top. It also ensures that I stay completely stuck in my own yuckiness.

When I remember this my world is so much more peaceful and my heart has more space for love and compassion. When I see someone who is smoking around a child, or who is overweight to a scary point the first place that I go in mind now is not “how can they do that – they are so stupid and lazy”…Instead I have learned to go to a place of compassion (though it is an ongoing process). For me, its a much happier space to live in.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is brought to you by Jeanine of AphroChic. As I have mentioned (many times before), Jeanine’s business, textiles, and spirit have inspired me to take Jess LC to the next level. She is also a style and interior design blogger, check out her blog, AphroChic. And she recently did a stint as a Lucky Mag blogger(!!).

Though Jeanine has already gone above and beyond to help guide and support me with my new changes, I couldn’t help but ask her to participate in a DYL. The ability to peek inside her brain and see what principals she values is priceless. What struck me personally about her DYL is the intention to dream big dreams. I’m taking a note out of her book and doing the same myself!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jeanine of AphroChic

Always dare to be different.

Being different is a wonderful thing.  Since I was a child, I have always been different.  I was an incredibly outspoken six year old, who loved politics, and dreamed of becoming a minister, a fashion designer and a writer (all at once).  Why not?  There were times when I didn’t always accept my difference.  Why couldn’t I be quieter?  Why did I have to be so opinionated?  But now, at 31, living out my dream as a designer, I understand that there is a power in my difference, and a strength in my voice and my vision.  It’s what sets me a part from everyone else, and what makes my work unique.  And most importantly, being different and offering a new perspective makes me happy.

Don’t be confined by one vision of who you are and what your life should be.

Life can take you on a number of twists and turns and you can’t be confined by one vision of yourself.  One day you’re a lawyer, and the next you’re making pillows.  That’s my story.  And yes, it seems strange that someone who spent so much time studying political science and law would one day go into textile design.  But, if I had only allowed myself to be and do one thing, I would not be on this amazing journey I am on now.  I’ve learned not to be confined by who I “should be”.  I am open to all of the opportunities that life has to offer.

Dream big dreams, and then make them come true.

I have learned that the bigger the dreams, the bigger the goals and the accomplishments that follow.   I have never been afraid to dream big.  At the start of every new year I sit at my desk and make a list of my goals for the next 12 months.  It’s a list of dreams and big thinking for my company and what I want to accomplish.  It’s a list I constantly revisit and tweak, and it keeps me focused on the big things I want in life.   When you are focused on what you want, when you believe you can and will fulfill your goals, you’ll be amazed about what comes true.

Don’t listen.

Truth be told, I am a terrible listener.  I have always been guided by my own thoughts and intuition.  I never do things by the book, and enjoy thinking outside of the box.  If I listened to what others said, I never would have changed my career and followed my passion.  I would not be living a life that fulfills my creative spirit.  Sometimes, it’s important to know that the most important person to listen to is yourself.

Never go it alone.

My husband is the love of my life and my partner in all things.  Everything we do, we do together, and it’s his support that helps me reach my goals.  Whether it’s a partner, a mentor or a friend, it is important to surround yourself with positive influencers, people who push you, who believe in you, and who help you be your very best self.  I could never have transitioned to this new path or reached my goals alone.  It’s the support of my partner that helps me make my dreams a reality.

Always have fun.

I have always been a Type A personality.  For years my life was on a constant path of stress, the need to control, and more stress.  But now that I’ve discovered a new life as a designer, I want to enjoy what I’m passionate about, and those Type A traits just aren’t fun.  I spend a lot of time each day working on building a business and brand, but I spend just as much time having fun and enjoying what I do.  When life stops being fun, when you can’t find the laughter, it’s time to move on to something new.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

We all have our favorite tv shows.* We all have our favorite blogs. My favorite tv shows are Curb Your Enthusiasm and Private Practice. And near the top of my (long) blog list are The Pioneer Woman and Life in the Fun Lane. Which means featuring Holly of Life in the Fun Lane today on DESIGN YOUR LIFE is just as exciting as having Katherine Walsh do an interview on my MML.

Or at least that’s how I see it.

If you haven’t seen Holly’s amazing furniture and home renovations and you’re the slightest bit interested in interior design, please visit her site right now. Then come back and read her awesome intentions which help her design such a beautiful life. While you are at it, you might also want to take a look at her furniture shop, White Berry Reinvented.

Ok, now it’s time I stop gushing about Holly and get on to her intentions. Ahem.

Though all of her intentions are awesome, I particularly empathize with her intention and struggle to let go of her furniture creations. I think the same feelings apply to a lot of us concerning our possessions as well. Sometimes we hold onto things longer than necessary, only to realize that once we exfoliate, we feel so much better. Take a look at her intention “to share what she loves” to see what I mean.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Holly of Life in the Fun Lane

If you love something, share it.

Once upon a time I used to think that bigger was better and less was not more. In some instances it may still hold true, but for the most part I have started to see the beauty in loving something and letting it go. I guess it kind of comes with the territory of my new occupation. Every time I work on a piece of furniture a little bit of my heart and soul goes into its transformation and I always feel a small twinge of uncertainty before it leaves to a new home. “Should I have kept that one? Will I ever love another one as much?” the hoarder in me temporarily takes over for a split second until I regain control. The funny thing is that as soon as it is gone I always feel successful, inspired and motivated to keep working but I have yet to master the moments just before that.  Slowly I am getting better and better at it, and when I actually step back and think about it I really want to apply it to other areas of my life besides my business. If it really brings me so much happiness then imagine how good it will feel to pass that feeling on.

Write your own road map for success, but read the traffic signs on your journey.

Remember all those exercises in school where they tell you to write out your goals, make a life plan, etc.? I did them all, and thought I was nowhere close to what I had imagined. Until I took a second look and realized so what if I’m not a lawyer or high-paid corporate CEO? When I wrote my goals (at like age 15) they were what I thought would make me happy at the time (money, high-powered glamorous jobs). I am REALLY happy with my job now, in fact I love it! So I guess my plan may not have been job-specific but I actually met my goals in a more important way. Sometimes it is necessary to be really specific, but I have to remember there is a bigger picture. I think that it is much more important to write out your priorities long before you focus on goals. Because sometimes the two don’t go hand in hand, and I can’t believe I might have missed my sign to slow down and take a chance.

Embrace imperfection.

I think this one is natures attempt at irony. I have absolutely no troubles seeing the beauty in really ugly furniture, bent and faded books, and chipped old plates but I have a hard time letting a dirty plate on the counter go. I am not insistant that the house always be in magazine-ready form but a wet towel on the bathroom floor just bugs me a little too much. I need to let go a little when it comes to my expectations around the house and spend more time enjoying my time at home.

Never stop finding out who you are.

If you would have asked me who I was 8 or 10 years ago my teenage self would have told you I knew who I was, where I was headed and a whole lot more (because I knew everything then, duh!). My sister was the creative free spirit, I was the rational smart one. Never in a million years did I imagine that only 10 years later my life would pretty much revolve around creativity. I guess that was something I didn’t see then. And as I get older I see many other things that I had no idea were there like my desire to be a little less rational, and becoming more capable of taking chances. I am sure that in another 10 years I will look back and be amazed yet again the mysteries I have unveiled inside of me.

Learn how to not kill your plants.

This one is pretty straight forward. Today I actually bought a cactus so we will see how that goes. I haven’t tried killing one of those yet.

Simplicity.

While I LOVE things, I don’t want to be bound to them. I guess it relates back to #1 again, because I think that letting go is really the secret to simplicity. By most people’s standards I think I am actually fairly simple in most areas of my life. I don’t text, have no need for a facebook page, am not chained to desk 8 hours a day, spend relatively little time online with the exception of my blog and business, rarely watch movies, etc. For the most part I enjoy a good book, playing with Wren and decorating. But I want to improve on being more efficient at things like housework and finishing our renovations so that I can spend even more time enjoying those simple pleasures. To accomplish that I think it will have to be a combination of spending a little more money to get the renos done already (with a little help) instead of burdening ourselves with doing everything all the time (even though that sure is rewarding!) as well as organizing and planning the spaces we are working on to be more efficient when they are done. Oh how I long for the days when I didn’t trip over tool belts while cleaning the bathrooms and cans of paint when doing laundry.  But at the same time I have to let go and just live in the moment!

* Except those people who don’t watch tv. And to those intellectual few, I give you a high-five and commend you. For you are far cooler than me and my Tivo lineup.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is pretty freaking awesome. Though Stephanie and I both graduated from Michigan the same year, I didn’t meet her officially until she moved to Chicago last year. Which is strange, considering how alike we are. Her passion for her blog and personal training is outstanding. She is also one of the most genuine, purposeful, and energetic people I’ve ever met. Really. If you don’t believe me, check out her blog videos to see for yourself.

Knowing how intentional she is with her training and life coaching, I thought she’d have some insightful intentions. I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I got goosebumps reading her intentions. I am now more excited to fulfill my own intentions after reading her DYL. And I’m also excited to get into the gym and do some workouts with her. This girl has abs.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Stephanie of Step It Up With Steph

It’s My Way, or Everyone Else’s Way

Growing up, I was constantly asking, “What should I do?” about anything and everything: from the pants I should wear as a child to the classes I should take as a college student, I always thought that I’d find the answers from other people. I would ask my parents, friends, advisers, classmates, and mentors what THEY thought I should do in certain situations, how I should respond, what I should dress like, or what actions I should take. After a lifetime of trying to do things “Everyone else’s way”, I decided to start trusting myself and doing things MY way. Not in a snotty, “my way or the highway” sense, but more like I know that I have the answers to my questions, so why would I do things someone else’s way, when I can do it my own way? When I started practicing yoga five years ago, all of this started clicking, and while I still ask for advice, at the end of the day I ultimately conclude that I need to do things my way.

Live Your Passion

Since high school, I’ve always wanted to spread happiness, health, and fitness through the media. When I graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in Communications in 2007, I knew I wanted to go into television to spread those things, but I thought I needed to gain experience before doing my own thing. Therefore, I moved to New York City within a week’s notice to take a public relations job at Lifetime TV because I’m very passionate about women’s issues and the media. After only two months on the job, multiple breakdowns, and the constant voice in the back of my head telling me “this is not your passion!”, out of the blue I got a call from a job I had applied for months prior: the Dr. Phil show in Los Angeles. The only contingency on this job offer was that I had to quit my Lifetime job, move across the country, and start my Dr. Phil job within a week. So, I gave my week’s notice on a Monday, worked my last day at Lifetime on a Friday, packed and flew to LA Saturday, found an apartment, and started Dr. Phil that Monday. After working on the show for a season, and feeling pressured by coworkers and parents to continue for a second season because it was the safe thing to do in this economy, I decided to stay true to my first intention (see above), and quit. I had NO idea what was next for me. So I took a secretarial desk job that bored me to pieces and ultimately motivated me to live my passion – I did my yoga, pilates, personal training, and life coaching training and certifications, and just KNEW that Step It Up with Steph was my passion. I haven’t looked back since!

Quick Decisions

I know that when I want something, I get it. However, the problem for me is deciding WHAT I want. One of my trainers once told me that if you can’t make a decision in 9 seconds, you’re not ready to make that decision. I thought about that for a minute, and now daily reflect on it. ALL of my major life decisions have been instinctively made very quickly. Accepting my Lifetime TV job, the Dr. Phil job, creating Step It Up with Steph, dumping a boyfriend, moving to Chicago, etc. While this may be viewed as “impulsive”, I believe that when I’m connected with myself and my innermost desires, I am able to make these quick decisions intelligently and intuitively rather than out of fear or based solely on impulse.

The Road Not Taken

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” -Robert Frost

Growing up, I remember being called “weird”. In high school, I was also called “weird” (not sure why, because I was also voted prom queen…) But, alas, I guess if being friendly to everyone and a bit crazy (in a fun way) is considered “weird”, then I am! However, even though growing up people thought I was weird, I didn’t let that stop me from being myself. Sure, it made me feel unsettling inside, but I didn’t want to change myself or how I acted just to follow the herd. There is a saying that 80% of the world is consisted of followers, and 20% are leaders. In order to be in that 20%, I believe we have to take “The Road Not Taken”, as my favorite poet Robert Frost says. I remember reading this poem in middle school, and its message has stuck with me ever since. Of course 80% of the population is going to think I’m “weird”, but my intention is to take the road less traveled, and then bring the 80% along with me!

Acting Out of Love vs. Fear

Sometime in college I read Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love. I know Jess has mentioned this book in her blog, and it has also inspired me. (So much so that I interned for Marianne for a summer) The main take-away for me from Marianne’s book is to question myself: Do I act out of love, or out of fear? When I act out of love, I’m connecting to my deeper self, a higher being, or God (however you’d like to look at it.) When I act out of fear, I’m often escaping the very thing that may help me grow.

Acting out of Love – for MYSELF.

I’ve tried to treat myself with respect, kindness, and love as often as possible. But never was this love for myself tested so much as during a past relationship/breakup. I had been dating someone for almost two years. What started as a long-distance “fling” turned into my first serious relationship: “I love you’s” were exchanged daily, “forever” was mentioned, and he moved across the country to be with me. We were the picture perfect couple, but slowly things started deteriorating. I knew it wasn’t right, but when you love someone so much, that part inside you wants things to work out and you tend to ignore the flashing red lights. I ignored the red lights for a while, and even ignored the shooting pains in my leg when I would talk to him (talk about mind-body connection!), and finally decided that I needed to respect myself, my body, my mind, and my spirit. I needed to love MYSELF as much as I was loving him. I no longer stay in unserving relationships, whether they are romantic or friendships, out of guilt, weakness, fear, or out of the hope that things will get better. Now when I’m dating someone, and even in relationships and opportunities in general, I really pay attention to how I’m feeling deep down when I’m around this person or in this situation, and don’t ignore my instincts, talk myself out of my feelings, or blow off shooting pains

If you can dream it, you can do it.

Daily I am amazed by what seems to be dropped in my lap in regards to my business. While I am hustling to spread healthy, fitness, & happiness to the masses, I am still repeatedly blown away by opportunities, people, and resources that come my way to support my dream. It reinforces to me that if I can dream it, I can do it, and so can anyone else. When I’m being true to myself, living my purpose & passions, and acting out of love rather than fear, it’s like I am signaling to the universe, “Yes, bring me more of that!” I’ve also heard someone say that the bigger the WHY, the easier the HOW. If you know why you have a certain dream or goal, it will be a lot easier to figure out how you’re going to achieve it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DYL is by Steph of Love in the Time of Foreclosure. I first met Steph online through blogging and then in person this summer at Chiblogo. It was great to meet her and hear her story firsthand. As you will read below, she has had quite a year.

And whether you yourself are facing foreclosure, debt, or another major challenge, reading Steph’s intentions are encouraging. Though she’s not immune to dissapointment, her resiliency shines brightly. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Steph of “Love in the Time of Foreclosure”

Be happy. Now.

In the midst of fighting to save our house from foreclosure while drowning under our serious debt I noticed something strange… I was happier. Happier than I’d ever been, in fact. How on earth was that possible? On the surface it didn’t seem to make sense. Until I realized that I was simply choosing to be happy. Now. Not waiting for things to turn around, because who knew if they ever would. I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. It is possible to be happy at any given moment no matter what the circumstances in life. Throughout the entire eleven months of fighting to save our house from foreclosure and hold onto the life we knew in Los Angeles this became my mantra. Be happy. Now. There’s no waiting for things to get better in order to be happy. What if they never get better? That would mean I’d never get to be happy and that does not work for me. So I choose happiness.

Allow vulnerability

I’ve always been a crier. As a kid, this embarrassed me to no end. It was impossible for me to hold my emotions back. To wear a mask of any kind. So many times I wanted to hide my emotions away, but wasn’t able. I saw my inability to hide myself as a flaw. I don’t know when it happened but there was some point in my life when I finally embraced my ability to put it all out there. This has materialized in the most concrete way in my blog, “Love in the Time of Foreclosure.” Writing has always been my way to sort things out for myself. And now I write about my most vulnerable moments in a public fashion. Putting it all out there for the world to see. The benefit? When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it’s easier to be at peace with yourself… and people are in turn vulnerable with you. Life gets so much more real. Forget about surface conversations… deep conversations and connections with people just happen. Worlds open up. People open up. And life just is more fulfilling.

Life is easier when you’re helping others

I met my husband on a 500 mile bike ride from Minneapolis to Chicago to raise money for people living with AIDS. We like to say that our first date was six days and 500 miles long. On the ride we noticed an interesting phenomena while climbing hills. If we focused on cheering our fellow riders on, we’d be at the top before we even realized we were climbing a hill. Putting our focus on helping others seemed to be the trick. When we didn’t, the hill was always harder. That’s when we’d notice the pain and would start thinking the hill was impossible. This phenomena extends to all areas of life. When I’m focused on helping others, my life seems so much easier.

Leave it all on the track

I ran track and cross country in high school and my senior year I battled injuries- stress fractures and a strained hip flexor. When I was able to compete, I was extremely disappointed by my performance that was nowhere as good as the year prior. Each time I stepped to the starting line it was more about, “Am I going to let myself down again this time?” than anything else. Not the best way to compete. Towards the end of the season before one particularly inconsequential dual meet my coach said to me, “Don’t think about winning. Think about leaving it all on the track. If you go out there and give everything you’ve got and make sure that at the end of the race you’ve put it all on the track and you have nothing left, that’s what matters. Think about that.” Those words rang so true. They were a call to action. I can do that, I thought. It’s not about perfectionism or even winning the race, but knowing that you lived full out and held nothing back. Ever since that day, that’s been the standard I hold myself to in life.

Don’t let a perfectly good crisis go to waste

Last year speaking about the economic crisis, Rahm Emanuel said, “You never want to let a serious crisis go to waste.” There is opportunity in every crisis. The opportunity to do things you wouldn’t have been able to do before. That’s exactly how Bob and I viewed our personal financial crisis. In fact, we made a promise to each other to not let it go to waste. To learn from every moment. To grow as a couple and as individuals. To rise to the occasion. We talked about how things might look bleak, but that if we kept at it we could actually create huge opportunities beyond what we ever imagined. We didn’t save our house, but we did end up living rent-free in a big farmhouse in one of the most beautiful places in the world- San Juan Island. We haven’t recovered our income, but Bob landed a job with a great company where he gets to work from home and I became a blogger. Beyond all of that, though, what we gained from our crisis was the knowledge that we can weather any storm. And that our marriage, love, health and happiness are by far our highest priorities.

Be grateful in good times and bad

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well but it’s almost more important to be grateful when they’re not. This is what got us through the year of marriage counseling and the year of our financial meltdown. Gratitude. We put it into practice. When one of us is feeling down and out or downright sorrowful, the other will ask, “Name one thing you’re grateful for right now.” It’s impossible to not find one thing. At the very least we can say, “I’m grateful for you.” Or, “I’m grateful for Pablo.” (Pablo is our Pug dog.) Or, “I’m grateful for the love of my family and friends.” Expressing gratitude – especially in ‘bad’ times – has a magical effect. It’s worked wonders for us. In fact, it worked yesterday. When we were miserable because our pipes froze and we were freezing and feeling lonely missing our family and friends and our old house and Los Angeles… Bob said he was grateful for something. I honestly don’t even remember what. But it worked. It changed my focus from what we didn’t have to what we do have. And that’s a lot.

Acquire experiences, not things

This is one that I always agreed with but never really put into practice. Until our financial crisis. Through selling 90% of our possessions in a giant estate sale, I began my detachment to material possessions and honing the extremely important distinction between want and need. I firmly believe that less is more and more is burden. We are so done working to pay for things we own. Instead our life is now about acquiring experiences. I love that!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Before I get into today’s DYL let me do a few quick announcements. (Wow, kind of sounds like I’m a teacher…)

• Thank you, Holly, at Decor8 for announcing the first Spring Video Blog about Gratitude! It was incredible of her to feature our brand new project. And I’m also blown away by the number of people who are already supporting our new baby. And in case you are interested, we are also doing a giveaway for five adorable Gratitude journals – so hop on over to win one.
• Thank you to Magchunk for doing an awesome interview with me yesterday. Her questions were a joy to answer. And is it just me, or does Erwin kind of look like a rap moghul?
• And once again, I am doing a trunk show at Macy’s on State St. today and tomorrow from 11-5. Come say hi, grab some holiday gifts, and use your Macy’s coupons for discounts on Jess LC jewelry.

Okay, back to the DESIGN YOUR LIFE at hand. Today’s interview is with Kaileen Elise. I first found Kaileen through her awesome blog, which is almost a cousin to MakeunderMyLife. In fact, I feel like Kaileen and I might even somehow be cousins on some weird “life purpose” level. Reading her intentions, topics, and perspectives was like hearing an echo of my own thoughts. She has some great features that I’ve enjoyed reading including the Joy Diet. I definitely recommend reading her blog if you are a fan of designing a life with intention.

After reading her DYL, I think I might put her favorite quote (mentioned in her “Believe in the Extraordinary” intention) on my 2010 Intention Board. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Kaileen Elise

Wake up with a smile.

For months I’ve tried to renovate my morning routine. My attempts have ranged from waking up super early to picking my outfit the night before, but nothing was achieving my desired outcome. I was searching for peaceful mornings, a way to begin my day with calmness and joy. I finally settled on beginning my day with a smile.

Every night before I fall asleep, I think about how I want the next day to play out—an easy morning commute, positive feedback at work, a refreshing yoga practice and a fun night at home with my mister. I tell myself that I’m going to sleep well and wake up rested.

I’ve realized that I cannot control every aspect of my day-to-day, but starting it off with a smile puts me in the best possible position. These days I find myself waking before my alarm goes off with a sleepy smile on my face.

Find inspiration everywhere.

Unlike the elusive peanut butter jar in the pantry, inspiration can be found easily when you are searching for it.

Being inspired everyday is one step towards the life of my dreams. The blogging and twitter community has helped immensely in my pursuit of this intention. The amount of creative talent in the world is completely encouraging.

Part of this intention is creating environments where I feel inspired. I keep my desk organized, but full of tiny details that make my life special—family photos, quotes to live by, trinkets and pictures that make me smile.

Enjoy simple moments.

When it comes to leading a purposeful life, enjoying simple moments is at the top of my list.. Like most people, I have a busy schedule with a to-do list longer than my arm. I stay connected to my goals and dreams throughout the day with several simple exercises: meditating while my tea brews, having meaningful conversations with friends, reading an interesting blog, connecting with new Twitter friends, writing in my journal, breathing on purpose and listening to motivating podcasts.

Live and love with heart.

Buddha said, “Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” Deep in the center of our soul there is a voice that guides us—it shines light on confusing circumstances and helps us see things as they really are, rather than as they seem to be. Living and loving with heart is my path towards being authentic, sharing myself, and opening up to the guidance of my intuition.

Put myself on the list.

I think every person has the “list” – the one that dictates the many priorities for a given day.  It’s a common practice for busy people (especially women) to leave personal care off the list. One of my intentions is to take care of my needs—emotionally, physically, spiritually, creatively, nutritionally, and otherwise—so I can be in a better place to help others. I am much happier when I drink plenty of water, eat fresh foods, practice yoga and smile often.

Believe in the extraordinary.

Believe in the extraordinary sums up one of my favorite quotes:

Belief in yourself and in the possibility of success is the most important requirement for living an extraordinary life. Believe in belief.  Believe in yourself and the best of the world will come to you–and…you will be prepared to receive it. Don’t sell yourself short. You do not require permission to be extraordinary.

-Richard Quick, 6-time coach the US Olympic Swim Team

If there is one thing that gives me the motivation to pursue my dreams, it’s my belief in the possibility of extraordinary events becoming commonplace in my life.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you and your families have a great holiday and enjoy a homemade meal. I’d also like to let you know how thankful I am for you reading this blog and making my life more purposeful.

I personally am staying in Chicago and having Thanksgiving with my cousin, Danny. We’ll be making our Grandpa’s homemade gnocchi recipe and I prepared my mom’s chocolate chip cheese cake as our dessert. Though it’s hardly a traditional dinner, we will have a lot of fun making the dumplings and enjoying a few brewskies. Since we both will be visiting our families in a month for Christmas, we decided to stay in the city this weekend.

Today’s DYL is not your average DYL. Not at all. Which is what makes it pretty great. “LiLu” (her internet persona) is the blogger behind Live It, Love It, a hilarious blog about her life. Enjoy her intentions with a grain of salt and a lot of laughter. After all, there’s plenty to be thankful for when we take life less seriously. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: LiLu of “Live It, Love It”

Keep Expectations Low in All Facets of Your Life

Think about it. If you start remembering birthdays, calling Grandma every Sunday, showing up to work on time, and showering each morning, people will then expect you to do these things ALL THE TIME. Manipulate your environment so that every time you do something thoughtful, or responsible, it is regarded as a pleasant surprise rather than a given.

Surround Yourself With People Who Get Your Own Weird-Ass Sense of Humor

Everyone knows laughter = good times, right? Right. You should seek out friends who are not quite as funny or smart as you, but will still laugh at your jokes. It is a delicate balance, much like the correct number of tequila shots one can consume in a night without ralphing.

Being One of the Cool Kids Probably Means Acting a Little Slutty

No one wants to hang out with Miss Prissy Prissface McGee. Let your hair down a little, toss the occasional blowjay joke out there! This will especially endear you to fellow female colleagues in the office, especially at, say, a work Happy Hour. Make sure to constantly mention your “Whorey College Days” to ensure quicker bonding with gal pals!

Prefer to Laugh With the Sinners Than Cry With the Saints

Billy had it right. Life is short, man. And in one religion or another, we’re all going to Hell, so you might as well pull your pants down and moon someone on the ride there. Additionally, offensive jokes are the spice of life, so long as you make sure to offend EVERY demographic equally.

Disregard All Senses of Dignity, Pride, and Self-Respect in the Name of Having Fun

Nobody ever got a great story out of drinking “just enough”. Clothes don’t just fall off by themselves! Timmy isn’t going to end up with a lampshade on his head in case you’re PROACTIVE about it. I recommend pre-gaming early, and with moonshine. Good rule of thumb: Post your pictures on Facebook EARLY the next morning, before anyone has time to untag them. Friendship is knowing what’s best for the world, and that means sharing everything in the name of hilarity.

Tell Little White Lies to Strangers Often, For Your Own Amusement

This little “ism” is not only great for entertainment value, but has the added bonus of keeping your mind sharp! Thinking on your feet to come up with new and ridiculous details about your fake long lost twin, terminal disease, or secret torrid relationship with Jude Law (and his nanny, who knows! Get crazy with it!) will keep your brain active and your creative juices flowing. Whenever you get caught, just scream a few obscenities, bark “TOURRETTE’S!!!!!!!” in your audience’s face, and move it on down to the next watering hole.

Don’t Ever Be Afraid to Dance Like a Moron

Oh. Is that just me who does that?

Well, CRAP.

Follow these easy-peasy steps and you’re guaranteed the ride of a lifetime. Or chlamydia. Or BOTH! You can have it all!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! As you read this I am busy getting ready for another Macy’s Chicago Desginer Trunk show from 11-5 today and tomorrow. If you are around State St. this afternoon and want to say hi- please do!

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is brought to you by our newest MakeunderMyLife sponsor, Rebecca of The Pink Orange. If you haven’t seen her invitations and stationary, I highly recommend checking out her adorable brand spanking new website and Pink Orange blog! I’ll be talking more about that next week. She also has a more personal blog here, Ella Minnow Pea.

I loved reading Rebecca’s intentions. It was great to find out what started The Pink Orange and what lies on her horizon: motherhood. Plus, I now have another friend who enjoys cheese as much as I do.

Enjoy her intentions, I have a feeling they are going to strike home with a lot of people.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rebecca of The Pink Orange

What an honor to have Jess ask me to write for her weekly Design Your Life series. I am so grateful for all the support I have gotten both from online friends and “real life” friends as I have aggressively pursued my dreams- dreams that include both personal and professional pursuits. For me, they really do go hand in hand, and I think you will understand why as you read.

I remember when my husband and I first starting dating, we went to a local amusement park. We both love roller coasters so much and were lucky that it was so early in the season this particular night. I think we rode the roller coaster for an hour straight, because each time the ride came to an end, we were allowed to stay in our seats because no one else was waiting in line. I have always related life to a roller coaster. It has it’s ups and downs, but without them what kind of ride would it be?

LOVE WHAT YOU DO

I remember working one of my first jobs out of design school and I was absolutely miserable. I made a decent salary, but I would inevitably wake up stressed and tense before I even arrived at work. I really thought long and hard and realized that I work about 75% of my day. Why should I be miserable? At the time, I had already started my business as a part time endeavour. I realized that life and work isn’t about the amount of a paycheck, it is about self-worth, pride in my accomplishments and loving what I do on a daily basis. My husband and I were just shy of 3 months from our wedding and I left my full time job to start my business. It has been 3.5 years and I haven’t looked back.

LOVE WHO YOU ARE

I love myself and I love my life. I say those words every morning. Don’t laugh, I really do.

Growing up, I had terrible self-confidence issues. I was constantly comparing myself to my friends – and I had wonderful friends! Whether they had material things that I didn’t, a better car, or prettier, I never really felt good enough. Friends that loved me for who I was and now friends that love me for who I am. I finally realized though, all along that I had that self-confidence, I just needed to uncover it. I also realized that loving myself and my life wasn’t about what I had in my life, it is who is in my life and what I achieve in life. My parents taught me so well that self-respect and confidence will get you anywhere you want to go. It really is true. I have gained the self-confidence to step outside of my normal comfort zone and take risks. Risks that have allowed me to be successful and proud of what I do!

LOVE THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE

This is HUGE for me! The comments on my blog, a quick happy email, a blink from my husband, catching a wave at the beach, the cheese sandwich at lunch (which I love by the way), a fire in our fireplace while I snuggle with my husband under a blanket are the best things that money can’t buy and give me the most happiness.

Which brings me to my next intention.

LOVE AND LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST

Don’t take anything for granted. I kiss my husband and tell him I love him each and every morning. I give myself a morning pep talk and tell myself…”you can do this” even when things seem otherwise.

I never thought I took things for granted until I was faced with infertility. I realized that in the past I had indeed assumed things in life. I never thought it would happen to me. I assumed I would become a mom on my time and my terms. I realized that life doesn’t work like that. I realized that my plan isn’t always God’s plan for me. I took a step (or 2) back and realized I just needed to live life and let good things come my way. I just needed to keep my eye on the prize and let life take its course. Following life like this has been one of the healthiest rides for me. I take each day one day at a time and life it to its fullest. This intention has also helped me get through our fertility procedures and now while we wait to be matched with a mom for our adoption. It makes each day very exciting and rewarding. One of my favorite quotes by Ralph Marston is “start each day the way you wish to live it.” I have it taped to my computer monitor.

QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

This is an intention that holds true in both my personal and professional life. I found that a handful of wonderful supportive friends who I can talk to, cry to and vent to, is more important that having too many friends that I can’t keep up with. I have also found that in my professional career, it is OK to say no and ask for what you want. Quality professional relationships are ones that I treasure and cherish and will forever be grateful for.

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

…you aren’t old until you feel old. This is probably one of my favorite intentions. There are days when I actually forget my age because I feel that at any age, you can accomplishment anything you put your mind too. I do not take no for an answer.

With this intention, I also feel like you aren’t too old for anything. My husband and I have so much fun in life together! He is my biggest fan both personally and professionally and I’m so grateful and really quite lucky! I am also one lucky lady to be able to take this ride with him, because it is a ride that I don’t plan on getting off anytime soon.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

As I mentioned on Tuesday, three lovely ladies and I are starting a new video conversation called Spring where we will talk about passion, intention, and many ideas shared on these DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews each week. Carolyn and Michelle have already shared their intentions in previous DYL interviews, so I’m excited to share the fourth member, Jess Gonacha Swift’s intentions this week.

Some of you may already be familiar with Jess via her amazing artwork, etsy store, or blog. Though we are relatively new friends, reading her intentions makes me so appreciative of Spring (cuz I get to work with great ladies like Jess!). Given the opportunity to do my own DYL over again, I think it is definitely possible that I would have written five of her six intentions verbatim. Along with sharing the same first name, love of design, and life intentions we also have a dislike for washing dishes.

We’re definitely soul mates.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jessica of JessicaGonachaSwift

Be grateful

Moments of real, true, deep gratitude for me are exceptionally healing and inspiring. It happens often when I’m out walking in nature– there’s something magical about being outside that helps me connect with how big and vast and miraculous our world and the universe are. When I can connect to this sense of gratitude for everything around me, I feel calm, centered, and full of believing that everything is exactly as it should be.

Trust and listen to myself

This is an intention that I’m really working on lately, as I have a real tendency to compare myself to other people and what they are doing, then turning it around on myself to feel as if I’m not doing enough, or I’m not doing it “the right way.” When I get sucked into the comparison/ego game, it zaps my energy and leaves me uninspired and gloomy. Lately I’m opting for the alternative: believing in myself and trusting that my unique path is what I should be striving to follow and discover– not the way that I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing something, according to someone else’s rules. Trusting myself takes the pressure off and lets me ask the question “What’s right for me?” It feels good!

Say YES to life & reframe negative thoughts

You know those times when you don’t want to do something and you make it really dramatic in your head? Here’s an example, straight from my life: “Ugh. I so don’t want to do that sink full of dishes. I can’t stand doing dishes. It’s pretty much the worst thing ever to have to do. This is going to be really miserable.” I can be this dramatic about pretty much anything. So, I’ve been focusing on saying YES to these types of things instead, and it makes it so much easier, and, imagine this, even enjoyable! When I say yes to my life and everything in it, my days go more smoothly, I have more fun, and I have a way better attitude.

Don’t take myself so seriously & have fun

This is another intention that I’m actively pursuing these days. I am a worrier and a serious person by nature, and livening things up with a bit of goofiness is a great way to get rid of stress! Some ways that I’ve been adding fun to my life lately: playing music I don’t normally listen to and dancing around the house (often holding my kitty, Anika, and wiggling in front of my husband to make him giggle!), taking days off to read books/ take naps/ be a little lazy, jumping jacks (yep– I’ve been taking mini breaks to do a quick round of jumping jacks, and it lifts my spirits instantly and makes me feel energized and spunky!) I’d really like to up the fun ante in my life even more, so this an intention that’s at the top of my list!

Be Compassionate

I am often hard on myself and expect myself to be perfect, even though I know I’m not perfect (no one is!), so I can easily make myself feel guilty. I am learning to take it easy on myself and treat myself with compassion. This, in turn, helps me want to treat others with the utmost compassion. A friend once told me “you’re learning what you’re learning when you’re learning it,” and remembering that helps me focus on treating myself kindly and realizing that I’m a human being, that we all make mistakes, and that we’re all brilliant in our own unique ways!

Being able to say no & create boundaries from a place of respect

I have a hard time saying no to people and being honest about what works and doesn’t work for me. I often have to give elaborate explanations instead of just saying a simple ‘no.’ So my intention here is to be able to stick to my boundaries out of respect for myself, and communicate those boundaries to others in a loving and compassionate way. This is hard!! But ultimately this is a great lesson for me to learn, because I always feel icky if I’m not quite honest with someone, or with myself. I always admire those folks who have really clear boundaries and are confident about them. I intend to have that in my life as well.

Dream big

This might be my most important intention lately– I think it’s so so SO important to visualize the crazy success that I would like to have in my life (I mean really picture it- the details, the colors, the smells, the feelings, everything), and then, the most important part, do not allow myself to create reasons why I can’t have it in my life. Don’t we all deserve success and abundance? I think we do! So I intend to dream big, feel giddy and excited about those dreams, trust that I am on my path, let it go, and go about doing what I need to do. And by success I’m not talking only material success– I mean success in the broadest of terms. Financially, emotionally, in my relationships, spiritually, everything. Success to me means living into the life that I dream of, right now, in this very precious moment!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! Welcome to a brand new DESIGN YOUR LIFE. This week Michelle of When I Grow Up is sharing her intentions and some amazing ways she’s designed her life around them. I’m going to let our first meeting remain a mystery (to be revealed in the weeks to come), but I’ve loved getting to know her.

When I asked her to do the DYL interview I knew she would have a lot of great advice to offer. And I was right. Her professional  life coaching concepts, ideals, and action plans which help dozens of clients are also active in her own life. Though I can’t comment on the cosmopolitan recommendation (never had one), I love her “trust yourself” revelation. Take a look.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Michelle of When I Grow Up

Claim your uniquity.

When I was 9, I wore two different sneakers (same Keds, just different colors with my own magic marker touches) & two different socks. When I was 10, I wore a hat. Yes, I was essentially copying Punky Brewster (who remains my fashion icon) & Debbie Gibson, but those girls allowed me to express my pre-teen self. As an adult, I claim my quirkiness in both my style, my personal life & my business. “Normal” is boring. Be yourself, & whoever doesn’t like it can find someone else to snooze it up/do business with.

Surround yourself with supportive, positive people (& learn to say “no!”).

I started purging my toxic frenemies when I started my coaching classes, & it’s changed my world. As a people pleaser, it was super tough for me to say “no” to anyone, even those who added nothing more than drama & snide remarks to my life. Knowing that the people that I lean on now are the ones who are only there to cheer me on – no drama, no hidden agendas, no jealousy – has lead to me pursue my dreams like nobody’s business. It’s also allowed me to know that my time will be spent with those that contribute something to my life, & that makes it easier to say “yes” – & “no”! – to those opportunities.

Celebrate!

I have my own Bribery List of how I can celebrate each win (aka bribe myself), starting with the “little stuff” (buying a bouquet of my favorite flower, taking an hour-long bubble bath with a glass of wine & a magazine) & going through to the “big stuff” (tickets to a Broadway show & a lobster dinner!). I take out the list during Me Time (see below) as well as when I’ve accomplished a goal, big or small. I make my clients celebrate their wins, too. I’m super mean like that.

Find – and pursue – your passion.

When I finally admitted to myself that I didn’t want to pursue acting anymore – & believe me, it took a year if not longer – I absolutely knew it was unacceptable to me to keep living my life with the (well-paying, insurance-giving) job that I had. Not only was my boss emotionally abusive, but it was just numbing (& boring & painful & made me dry heave in the mornings) to me. I absolutely do not get the people out there who are super unhappy with some aspect of their lives, or their lives as a whole (!) & just take it day in & day out. Can a life really be lived without passion? Whether it’s a career or a relationship, each day needs to be filled with something that makes your heart sing. If you don’t know what it is, find it. Do something different every day that peaks even a bit of your interest, whether it’s taking a new class at the gym or reading a new book or finally taking that day trip to the wine country. Figure out what you’re passionate about & how you’re going to make it part of your life.

Don’t sacrifice Me Time.

I was so used to always putting myself last. Everyone/thing else comes first – my day job, my coaching, my friends, my family, yada yada yada. The time I needed to recharge my batteries, by either journaling or doing yoga or just sitting with a fiction book (this is where the Celebration List comes in handy!), was always the first thing to go. But I realized that I needed to take care of myself first so I can take care of all of the other people I care about, & who rely on me. Like my very first coach pointed on, when you’re taken through the emergency lists on a plane, you’re told to put the air mask on yourself first and then put it on the child next to you. Why? Because you’re no good to a child if you’re passed out from lack of oxygen! I now block 90-180 minutes on my calendar each week for Me Time, & treat it like it’s the holiest of holy appointments to me: a coaching session.

You’re the only boss of you.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Seriously, you don’t. Danielle LaPorte said that you don’t have obligations – only choices. Doesn’t that blow your mind? And yes, while I absolutely consider the voices & opinions of those I love, & Luke & I call ourselves Team Awesome (we ARE an awesome team!), I am essentially the boss of me. The end.

You’re not married to anything (or anyone!).

Don’t tell my husband! OK, I’m totally married to my husband, but this is something my Mom told me right before I went to NYU. “Remember, you’re not married to anything (or anyone!). If you don’t like it, you can always go somewhere else.” I think of this to remind myself to always listen to my changing values, passions & priorities. I might have had 1 dream for 20-odd years, but then I had a new one. And I might have another one before I’m 50. I listen, now.

Don’t waste the pretty!

Yes, this was stolen from He’s Just Not that Into You, but it can apply to more than relationships. I waited until I was 28 to find my husband, because nobody that came before him was good enough for “the pretty”. I’m not gonna waste “the pretty” on a career that isn’t good enough for me, either, or a friend or client that doesn’t appreciate what I have to bring to the table. Wait for what you’re worth, & pursue what lives up to your expectation.

Trust yourself.

At almost-32 years old, this is the most current lesson that I’m learning. My years of pounding the pavement as an actress had conditioned me to not expect anything so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I hated being an optimistic pessimist (hope for the best, but expect the worst) & am now changing my perspective. I’m trusting that I can make a living coaching & can reach my dream. I’m trusting that things happen for a reason. I’m trusting that my past has lead me to this place, where I am today, & where I know that I belong.

Never underestimate a great Girls Night Out.

Or the power of a strong Cosmo. Mmmmm…..

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photo credit for image 3 and 6]

Finally, I have a new DESIGN YOUR LIFE to share! Thank you for your patience with this segment as I was travelling the past few weeks. Today I’m excited to share the intentions of my friend Jessica, of Polished Sense. We first met online via our blogs and Twitter. But we soon decided to meet up in real life since we both live and work in Chicago. The rest is history.

After graduating art school, Jessica decided that she was meant to stay in the fashion industry. She has created her own online shoe store and accompanying fashion blog called Polished Sense. Not only is her shoe selection well edited, but she takes it to the next level by blogging and showing how to actually incorporate the edgier styles into your existing wardrobe (something I find extremely practical). My personal suggestion is to browse her Raid My Closet series. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jessica of Polished Sense

Every child is an artist, the trick is, finding out how to remain one.

When I was little you could catch me coloring, having marker hands, painting or down the art aisle at the toy store.  I had paper rolls, cans filled with crayons, easels and matured into a drawing desk at my home.  I was always making something.  I asked my father when I was little, “Dad, how much to artists make?”  His response was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear they make a lot of money.  From that point on, I thought art was just going to be a hobby for me, not a career.  I stopped doing what I loved for a long time to try to pursue other careers that could earn a living.  Along the way I found nothing that came close to art and how it made me feel. When I graduated high school at 18, my art teachers told me to go to art school.  I kept telling myself no, because I had to do something else with my life if I wanted to make an honest living someday.

So off I went onto my big ten college lifestyle. After graduating college, I made a very big decision. This decision was to go on to art school and find my passion again, which I did and am ever so grateful for that experience. After graduating design school I realized it was time for me to do what I love and to make a career out of it. Here I am today running my own company, Polished Sense.

Live Artfully

Everything I see in front of me turns into art.  I love to design and I love to be different.  One of my favorite quotes is, “To be human is to be creative. You don’t have to go outside yourself to find creativity – you already have it.  It lives in your heart and mind every moment of every day” by Joseph Chilton Pearce. I don’t even think about it anymore, I just do it.  No fear, no questions, it just has to happen.  When I design, I see the color wheel, one of my favorite things as a child. It’s my true inspiration, which is why I call myself the Fashion Artist.

Dress Up & Go All-Out

One of my favorite things to do is dress up.  I love putting outfits together and accessorizing them. I love to perfect the look and make it “pop”.  My theory for styling is to always make a statement.  I love to create looks that stand out.  I feel that when you go out, why not go all-out? My inspiration is texture, color and fine detail.  Where do you find your inspiration to dress up?

Express Your Love

My loved ones know that I love them.  Even if the love is obvious, the ones that are most important still need to hear it.  I love to share what’s mine with great company.  One of my favorite things to do is to create for others.  There are many ways I express this such as; cooking for a crowd, putting together a flower arrangement to say thanks or designing a hair piece for my best friend’s wedding, it’s endless. I even make soup mixes in a jar and all they have to do is add the water, it’s great for all my friends who do not cook.  I am always finding ways to do what I love and to share it with people that surround me. I look forward to going places, doing exciting things and experiencing these adventures with the ones I love.

Do What You Are

We all have that special “X factor”. It took me awhile to figure it out, but now I can accept who I am and where I came from. It is what gave me my strength to go on to live my lifestyle. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong” – Joseph Chilton Pearce. (Another favorite of mine.) Now I have my own life and my own goals.  My very first goal on my list, is to never give up.  Once you figure out what it is that you love, you should do it.  Most of the time it’s right under your nose. I know that I’m creative and that’s what I plan to do from here on out, and I’ll figure it out along the way.  I hope all of you to do the same for yourself.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant is Rebecca of Loving Living Small. Some of you might also know her as the co-founder of Blog Out Loud, a great blogger resource. A few weeks ago, Rebecca asked me to do an interview for Blog Out Loud and I was delighted to be a part of the BOL conversation. What Rebecca didn’t know was that I had been following her own personal blog and Blog Out Loud before she even found me!

Oh, and did I forget to mention that Rebecca also writes for Apartment Thereapy?

So of course with these inspiring roles, I was pumped to have her intentions shared in the DYL series. I loved her intention to eat dessert (it’s right up there with Brooke’s intention to drink wine, if you ask me). Why not order something sweet to share with friends?

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rebecca of Loving Living Small

Love yourself all the time.

This was a life-changing year for me and I really learned the importance of self-love. I had found that I was often saying to friends or thinking to myself not so positive things like “I could lose a few lbs.” or “I don’t look great today, oh well” While being self-deprecating lightens things up, it can actually start chipping away at your self esteem without you even realizing it. Now, instead of thinking negative thoughts,  I embrace the positive side of things and feel better and my relationships are stronger.

Photograph your life all the time.

Take pictures – all the time. No, this is not an act of vanity but rather an act of documentation. My friends and family know that when I am around, they can be sure that I will be snapping a ton of photos of them, where we are, what we are doing, etc.  I was so inspired by New York when I lived there a few years ago that I started carrying my camera with my all the time and snapping photos of anything and everything that was interesting to me. 10,000+ photos later, I can look back and see my life over the last 9 years through these photos. It’s incredible! And it’s never too late to start documenting your life so go for it!

Just do it. Really. Go for it!

I have always lived my life with this intention – to go for it – no matter what! I learned from my incredibly supportive parents at an early age that if you believe in something,  approach it, try it and see where it can take you. You never know and you’ll most likely have a great story and memory out of it. Now is the time to do anything you want – embrace it.

Listen.

Yes! This is a great intention and I am enjoying living this one. Listening more, really listening, has been an incredible intention to live by. It’s important to hear what people are saying and to let them know I am present and here with them.  I have to really work on this one because when I am excited about something, I tend to ramble on and on and sometimes miss what a loved one is saying to me.  Definitely a work-in-progress but a good one!

Say hello.

Whenever I am on a walk, grabbing a coffee, enjoying a dinner out or running errands, I say hello and smile to the person on the other side – the walker, barista, waiter, etc. I feel good and so does the other person.

Live now.

Life is happening right now so enjoy it!!  I definitely had to teach myself how to do this. I was definitely a future girl, often thinking, “In 3 months, I want to do this.” Or “I wonder what will happen next year…”.  The reality is that while I was wondering about the future, I wasn’t truly living my present. To be honest, I am not sure how I changed this, I guess being really conscious of it and waking up every day thinking what does today hold has enabled me to live each day in that day.

Eat dessert.

I love treating my self to dessert every now and then and why not? I could spend the next moments complaining about how “I really shouldn’t because it’s fattening” or I can share a piece of yummy carrot cake with my dining partners and not just enjoy the cake but enjoy sharing. And who could turn down this homemade cake that my boyfriend made for a few birthdays ago? He tried to make the standard double round cake my mom made for everyone in my family (you got to choose the frosting and cake flavors!) but had a little trouble. It still tasted great!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! Today I am excited to bring you the intentions of Brooke from The New Dorothy. I love what she’s said below almost as much as her Niner Project (her plan is to complete 99 goals in 999 days). This Kansas lady is also serious about travel. I can only imagine what her passport looks like after living in four different countries. Four countries. Unbelievable.

And I also knew we’d be fast friends when I read her intention to drink wine. Why had I never thought about this intention before?! So read on, drink up, and enjoy.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Brooke of The New Dorothy

Dream it. Share it. Do it.

Most people have a lot of dreams and wishes and “someday I’m gonna…” ideas, but few have the gumption to tell anyone about it and actually follow through. I have a lot of dreams, always have. But I often need a catalyst to get me out of the dreamer stage into the action stage. So, I talk about it. I tell everyone I know and everyone I meet that I am moving to China, starting a band, opening a coffee shop, whatever. For me, the dream is just a passing whim until I share it. Don’t hold your dreams inside; put them out there and you’ll be motivated to follow through. Next up on my “dream big” to do list:  Move to Australia!

Drink Wine

Okay…you don’t have to drink wine. But for me, after a long day at the office, followed by a frenzy to find something to cook for dinner, followed by my attempts to work on other things that interest me (writing, painting, reading, etc.), it feels AMAZING to stop and sit down with a nice glass of red (or cup of cocoa, or glass of water, or whatever) and breathe. It gives me a chance to catch up with my sweetie, enjoy the fact that I’m living/thriving, and allow myself a moment of peace.

Find Your Yoga

I sit at a desk, at a computer, all day every day and I need something to get me active and get my blood flowing. I started doing yoga about a year ago and it transformed my body and the way I thought about fitness and physical activity. On any given day I’m bending, lunging, leaning, and breathing for the sake of my health and fitness, and let’s face it, for my sanity too. Yoga may not be for everyone, but everyone should find something that’s physically challenging and completely different from their normal daily routine. I also run and enjoy training for races – 5ks, triathlons, cycling events, etc. Just find something that makes you feel happier, stronger, and better, and do it often.

Wear Fabulous Shoes

For me, I love a striking pair of heels or cute slippers. The shoes or clothes I put on often influence my mood, attitude, and how I feel about myself. There’s a time to feel powerful and feel like you could rule the world (i.e. my killer red heels), and there’s a time to feel snuggly and self-reflective (i.e. my Northeastern University hoodie). There’s a place for it all in my book. The key is to get to know yourself well enough to recognize when you need the heels and when you need the hoodie.

Play Nice

Life is just too short and I’m way too mortal to get caught up in the petty, mean spirited, or disgruntled attitudes that plague some people. My motto is “do no harm.” There’s no place/space for bitterness, spitefulness, or any other negative-ness in my life. But this doesn’t mean that I’m also the peppy pom pom, never do wrong type.  My point is that you can tease, be funny, get upset, whatever, but you should always play nice. After talking to me, I want people to walk away feeling positive, and maybe a little inspired. I don’t always succeed, but I always try.

Read Everything

I have a day job and it’s pretty good. But, if I could, I would sit in coffee shops, libraries, art galleries, or at my kitchen table for most of the day reading. I read everything from design blogs, to political cartoons, to Newsweek, to Monocle, to the NYTimes (news & style sections), to USWeekly. You never know where you’ll find little nuggets of interesting chatter or be exposed to a new perspective on a hot-button issue. In my mind, it’s just silly to stay sequestered in your own little microcosm, never really knowing, asking, or understanding anything about the world outside yourself. The era of selfishness is over. And it’s time we all took a greater interest in our community.

Keep Interesting Company

I’ve been lucky enough to travel and live all over the world. And each time I have a new adventure, either down the road or across the globe, I find myself meeting/befriending some weird characters (which of course, is a compliment). These people come from numerous professions, live in random locations, but they all have something beautifully unique to share with others. Growing up in a small town in rural Kansas, I was hard pressed to find people whose opinions or life experiences were very different from my own. But once I started asking questions, listening, and getting to know the various characters that came into my life, the more I learned about the world, but mostly, the more I learned about myself.

Go Explorin’

Get out there! See something different! If you’re on a farm, head to London. If you’re in Shanghai, kick back on a secluded beach in Belize. Whatever you do, just go. I’ll never forget my first trip abroad (it was my first trip anywhere, really). I was in high school and it was my first night in Paris with my teacher and a few other students. We had just exited the subway (my first experience with that too) and were walking along the enchanted streets of Paris. It seemed like we had been traveling for weeks to finally get to this pivotal moment when I would see the Eiffel Tower for the first time. I was impatient and tired. Finally, I said, rather rudely, “Where is it?!” My teacher just grinned at me and said calmly, “Brooke, look up.” I stopped in my tracks and gazed up through the branches and leaves and saw the Tower for the first time, peeking out behind the trees above me, sparkling and grand. Amazing. It was there that I became addicted to travel. If you do nothing else, give yourself the gift of exploration and the wonder that comes from seeing something new for the first time.

Have Fun

I laugh. A lot. I can’t help it. You should too. It’s what makes life…worth it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! I hope you have had a good week so far. I’m happy to turn today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview over to Sarah of Haute Design. I found out about Sarah from Crystal of Plush Palate (check out her DYL interview). With such a warm recommendation, I knew I wanted to hear Sarah’s intentions. And after reading Sarah’s blog, I now know where I can find inspiration for future Jess LC collections.

Sarah’s intentions are every bit as great as her design aesthetic. My personal favorite was… wait. I couldn’t pick just one. The last three are all my favorites. I need to remember each one more in my own life. They are all about being present, while I find my own inclination is to lean into the future. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Sarah of Haute Design

Make a mental note of special moments.

I have experienced certain moments that I knew would forever change my life, even if only in a small way.  Perhaps it was where I was, or something I saw or heard. By making a mental note, one can remember specific characteristics of that special instance – such as a particular smell, taste, or sound, which is meaningful and special. I can honestly say that I cried when I stood under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, looking up at the incredible, glistening structure, which looked as if it had been encrusted with diamonds. The vastness and beauty took my breath away, and I will never, ever forget that moment.

Listen to those around you.

Listen more than you speak. This is something that has taken me a long time to learn, but I now know how important it is. I love to talk and listen to those who have many more years of experience than I. I find their stories fascinating. It reminds me of the movie, “The Holiday”, when Iris (Kate Winslet) helps sweet, elderly Arthur find his way back home. While taking the time to get to know him, she learned a lot from him, and a new friendship developed that she never expected.

Never loose your enthusiasm.

I love life! Each day is just waiting to bring new surprises, delights and challenges. I try to find delight in simple, everyday experiences, like seeing a beautiful design, an idea, taking a lovely walk, or tasting something delicious. Finding beauty in life brings me joy. I have also learned that positivity can be pretty contagious – as is laughter! Laughter is one of the best medicines there is, I believe.

Be still.

Often, I have to be perfectly quiet and still to hear my own thoughts and those that God wants me to hear.  In fact, I find that sometimes my greatest ideas come out of silence. I am a person who typically hates to be alone, and even while working I will turn a movie or music on. I have to remember to allow myself some time to sit, walk, or take a drive alone. When I do, the payoff is huge. Like having the chance to be able to appreciate the beauty of nature – listening to a mother and her infant birds outside or the waves at the beach…

Appreciate where you are in life.

It’s wonderful to have goals, but I think it’s important to also enjoy the now – what you are learning and experiencing now. If you don’t, how can you reach to your goals? More importantly, I find that sometimes there are lessons that I have had to go through in order to learn certain things.  I wasn’t aware of them at the time, but when I look back, there were a few ah-ha moments that now make perfect sense. Even if they were tough, I don’t regret them, because they have helped to mould me into the person I am today, and have made me wiser.

Practice having grace in all situations.

There have been many situations in my life that have allowed me to practice having grace. When in doubt, pick up “What Would Audrey Do” – an excellent book that outlines Hepburn’s lifestyle and how she practiced grace, even under duress. If you have followed my blog for a while now, you will have seen my post on etiquette and lack thereof, particularly in regards to lineups. I could not understand this, as from a young age, I have always been taught to be courteous and respectful of others. No one is perfect all the time, but I strive to have Audrey’s grace.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photos taken by David Arias]

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is featuring the newest sponsor of MakeunderMyLife. Rachel is a co-founder of the adorable site, Lovely Clusters, and has a blog called Design Lovely. I’ll be talking more about Lovely Clusters later today, so stay tuned. But for now I’d like to share Rachel’s intentions.

After reading her interview, it struck me how universal most intentions shared in the DYL series have been. I think on some level, intentions and values themselves are all-encompassing. And the way that each of us “designs our life” to fulfill these intentions demonstrate our individuality and personal perspective. I find something really beautiful about this revelation. We are at once one-in-the-same and one-of-a-kind.

So please read on to get inspired by Rachel. I am finding her ‘Take Time to Relax’ intention is getting more important for myself as well since I moved the studio into my apartment.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rachel of Lovely Clusters

Be Happy Where You Are

I think that being happy in the place that you live is really important. Every time I leave Maui I am always ready to go back within a week. I am grateful everyday that I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I feel truly blessed and I know that I would not be myself anywhere else. Happiness comes first.

Never Loose Your Drive to Create

I have always been one to create. I could not survive without it. I live and breathe to make and design things. I love seeing my ideas come to life and to see them being used. It is a passion of mine that I hope to never get rid of.

Take Time to Relax

I am a hard worker and when you work for yourself it’s hard to know when to stop and take a break because it sometimes doesn’t feel like work. I have to remind myself to get outside and enjoy the beach, or go camping or hiking. It can be hard to drag myself at times but I always feel better when I do. I feel refreshed and clear headed.

Find Beauty in Everyday Things

Stop and look around you. There is beauty everywhere. It might sound a bit cliché but it is so true. I don’t know how many times I wish I had a camera to take some of the things I have seen. I think just enjoying it and noticing is enough though. I think because I do stop to look at things it helps me become a better designer and observer.

Keep on Learning

Even though I am not in school anymore I am always looking for new things to learn. If I don’t know what something is I usually will look it up or ask my really smart husband who is like a walking encyclopedia at times.

Share Ideas and Express How You Feel

As I get older I find myself becoming more set in my ways and I need to remind myself to consider other peoples viewpoints because it may open new ideas. When you share your ideas with others they will most likely share ideas with you.

Travel – See The World!

This is something that I definitely need to do more of. Going to Ireland was a great experience for me. I found out that I don’t mind being out of my comfort zone and it was actually quite exciting. Seeing and being in a different culture really opened my eyes and taught me a lot about myself. I had experiences that I will remember forever.

[Photos Courtesy of Rachel from Half Caf, scarletd, Stella Nicolaisen]

I’m sure most of you, like me, are familiar with Cassandra’s design inspired blog, Coco + Kelley. She was one of my first reads when getting into the world of blogs. She’s also remained a favorite. Her posts and the photos she finds are always inspiring and have a distinct point of view, a similar flavor. Which I think says a lot about Cassandra’s editorial skills. So of course I wanted to peek inside her mind and find out what drives her ambition and intention.

I found her intentions in today’s DYL  summarize a lot of what I’ve been thinking in my own life lately. In fact, I bet many others have been thinking the same things as well. Her intentions strike a decidedly eternal and universal chord, laced in glamorous photos. Her intention to Absorb is going to be on my mind the rest of the week.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Cassandra of Coco + Kelley

DO

This intention combines a few important pieces of my life – the need to be creative and original, and the challenge to make the world a more beautiful place for everyone. The cycle of ‘creating’ is really a cycle of inspiration – from one we get the other, which is why I’m so thankful for other creative people in my life!

SIMPLIFY

Life is overwhelming, and simplifying things supports the “DO” part of life. Can’t see the forest for the trees? Been there. Take a step back. Declutter. Prioritize. Be quiet. Turn off. Stop talking and start listening. If we can’t see the bigger picture, how do we know where we’re going?

LAUGH