Happy Thursday! In honor of the spring weather we are having here in Chicago (with a high of 68* today!) I thought I would re-post one of the happiest and most colorful DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews we’ve ever had here on MML by Katie of Color me Katie. Enjoy!

(From July/9 2009)

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE (DYL) is about Katie of Color Me Katie, writer of one of the happiest blogs I have ever followed. Katie is a wonderful photographer and street artist (I suppose that is a good word for her random acts of kindness). This interview actually came about from a (first ever) reader request. Claire, a friend and MakeunderMyLife reader, told me about Katie’s blog and asked me to connect with her about DYL so she could learn more about Katie’s intentions.

Katie was extremely kind and agreed to sharing her intentions and some of her awesome photos. As I suspected, I was inspired myself to shake things up in my own routine after reading her thoughts. This morning I will not be eating cheesy oatmeal. It sounds like a small step, but I happen to have a serious addiction.

Read on!

Be creative

It’s important for me to express myself creatively every day. I have all of these fun ideas in my head and if I don’t get them out I’m pretty sure my mind would explode. Realistically, I’d probably just get frustrated and fall asleep. But explosion or no explosion, doing something creative acts as a therapy for me. I feel better after taking photographs, making street art, painting, or making wall sized collages. The messier and more sweatier I get, the better I feel.

Don’t grow up

Well, not completely anyways. I think it’s important to keep that little kid inside of you. I see a lot of people turn into grumpy old men that just complain about everything. I know that we’re all adults and we have important adult-like things to do but that doesn’t mean we have to let go of that playful side of ourselves. I’m still all about blowing bubbles, running around in the rain, and playing with my food and I always will be!

Break your routine

I hate the idea of getting up, eating breakfast, and going to work the same way every day. It eventually gets boring and I will not stand for boring! I want to wake up to a day that is always new, so I make sure I change it up a bit. First of all, who made this rule that for breakfast we should eat cereal. If I wake up and want spaghetti, I’ll make spaghetti. Whenever I leave the house I go a different way each time. I walk down a new street, ride the bus, take a different train, or hop on a forklift if I can find one! Even if it’ll take me longer to get there, I don’t care. I just always want to see something new.

Be Optimistic

It’s raining again? Wonderful! It’ll make the flowers grow. I got paint on my favorite coat? Great! I can turn it inside out, sew on new buttons, and make it better than before. There’s always a way to find something positive in a situation you would normally think was negative.

Give yourself a gift everyday

There are some days that can feel so long but it makes it a lot easier to get through if you give yourself a gift. I always like to give myself something little like a cupcake, a flower, balloons, or an iced coffee at my favorite cafe. It’s not expensive and it’s a lovely little pick me up during the day.

Be yourself

I’m not perfect, I know that. I have this thing where I trip at least once a day and somehow my dress will always find a way to fall down at the most inappropriate moments. I say the wrong things at wrong times and only have laughing attacks when I’m alone on the train, which makes me look like a crazy person. I used to be really embarrassed of myself when I was younger but now I find all these little things to be funny and they make me who I am. The next time my dress accidently falls down at a funeral it’ll fall with pride!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant, Liz of Sincerely, Liz, is also a new sponsor for MML. I’m excited to share her intentions and her amazing photography so that you all might get to know a bit more about her and her talents. As you will read, Liz has an incredibly kind heart. You can also follow her daily on her blog as well.

I’ll be taking her intention to give people the benefit of the doubt some serious thought in my own life. I can already think of a handful of situations where this is much needed. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Liz of Sincerely Liz

Positivity.

We all have bad times, right? Here’s my cure-all solution to getting rid of the darkness in your life: put some light in it. My light comes 100% from my faith in God, but I have a few things I practice regularly, in addition to my faith, to keep my chin up. One of the big things I have done in recent months is surround myself with positivity. This includes actions like unfollowing negative tweeters (tweeple? tweeps? twitter folks?), stop spending time with people that leave me feeling drained 100% of the time, give myself permission to let go of people/behaviors/habits that weigh me down. In addition, I started doing more positive things like sharing smiles with strangers, posting uplifting quotes on facebook, writing weekly Gratituesdays on my blog. It took me 26 years to realize that the banner in my 5th grade classroom really WAS right. “Attitude is everything.” I tell ya what, keep it positive and you can get through anything.

Use your talents to give back.

I truly believe God has given us all talents that we should use to bless others. Not only does it lift up and help the people around you, but giving to others is enjoyable! It’s all a big, happy cycle of blessings and I think it makes life a bit better.

Give the benefit of the doubt.

I have two questions I ask myself before I speak. Okay, realistically I ask myself these questions as often as I can remember. Which is not ALL the time. But, I really, really try. Question one: Is what you are about to say going to negatively impact anyone? If so, don’t speak. Question two: Are you simply observing out loud or is what you are about to say productive? Someone once told me that he didn’t speak much because he realized that almost everything he would say was simply an observation about life. “She said this,” “We went here,” etc. For someone who has a mouth that has gotten her in a lot of trouble in the past, this was an amazing concept. One that I adopted for my own life from that day on.

I don’t know if it was the way I was raised, or the culture I grew up in, or simply my sinful nature, but I have had a lifelong struggle with judging others. I find that my mind is assuming things about other people based on the tiniest glimpses I see of their lives before I even have the opportunity to process what I’m seeing. I am continually coaching myself (in silence) to STOP assuming and judging others. The way that I do this is to always think “what if that were me? What if what the person was saying, doing, or behaving like… what if that were me? What could possibly justify what I was witnessing?” It’s a continual thing for me, but I genuinely strive to someday reach a place in my mind where judgments never, ever happen.

Holy moly. I feel extremely privileged to bring to you the DESIGN YOUR LIFE intentions of none other than Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design! As many of you interior design buffs know, Summer’s portfolio and personal home tour have become inspiration for many, many homes across the blogosphere. In fact, her home was actually the inspiration for my own home decor with Kelly + Olive months ago as well.

So without any further delay, I give you a peek inside Summer’s extremely talented brain.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design

Take Risks

If you never take a risk, you’ll never have an opportunity to really succeed.  Overcoming obstacles, enduring setbacks, and truly taking leaps of faith are what give you the courage to do so in the future.  If you live within your comfort zone, you’ll never experience anything unique, spectacular, or adrenaline-rushing!  Don’t let fear hold you back.  I had to quit my job and basically go 100% commission (on my own) when I started my business.  Scary at the moment, but looking back it was so apparent that it was the right decision.

Gain inspiration from outside your ‘bubble’

We all live in somewhat limited cultural bubbles.  We have our limited group of friends, we live in a certain neighborhood or city, and we are rarely exposed to truly original experiences.  Travel serves as my main inspiration and boundary-stretcher.  Last year was a whirlwind of travel and a lot of fun.  I traveled to India, New Orleans, New York, Kentucky, Miami, and LA in an effort to expose myself to other cultures, experiences, and design inspiration.  India was certainly the most culturally shocking experience.  While there on a service project, I was reminded of how fortunate and blessed I am, and at the same time I was gaining new appreciation and understanding for cultural elements that I would use in my career.  I came back with a love of block prints, a passion for jade, and an increased interest in new color schemes.  Another example was the Miami trip which was a short vacation.  It was also an opportunity to visit the Viceroy & Tides hotels which were designed by Kelly Wearstler as well as the spa at Icon Brickell which was designed by Philippe Starcke.  I left relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to create again with some great inspiration from two premiere designers.  In 2010, hopefully I’ll be headed to Paris for some serious flea marketing…

Do what you love

If you don’t love what you do, do something else.  Even if you have to take a pay-cut, even if you have to ’start over’, do whatever it takes to do what you love.

Better bold than boring

Stand for something.  Anything.  In design, indecisiveness is the death of a great room.  Beige walls for instance, are oftentimes the result of indecisiveness.  Sure they don’t offend anyone, except me perhaps, but they also don’t say anything about the home owner.  The same can be said about a slew of ‘acceptable’ decisions in life.  Maybe this is the same as #1 (take risks), but its more about identifying who you are, and being proud of that.  I’m working on a design for the DreamHome in the Merchandise Mart that opens this April.  Some of the people who see it are going to think it is over-the-top, and they’re absolutely entitled to that opinion.  But my hope is that others will find it over-the-top in an utterly amazing, challenging, and completely original way (that they love).  And even if the latter isn’t the majority, those are the ones I hope will want to work with me in the future.  I would rather my rooms inspire thought and discussion, even if negative, than tired yawns of boredom.  You can’t please everyone, so why try!

Do something good for someone else

If you can, find ways to use your talents & natural gifts for a higher purpose.  It’ll be more rewarding than even the most profitable business venture.  And if you’re blessed financially, look for opportunities to use those resources for someone/something that really needs it.  Make it a priority, and your life will be changed forever.

(To get Summer Thornton Design updates, visit her facebook page.)

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DYL features Brigitte of the blog, Covet Chicago. I first met Brigitte via comments and email, and later in person when she stopped by Macy’s during one of my trunk shows. We hit it off right away and I am incredibly grateful for the insights Brigitte had for MML. Before speaking with her, it never occurred to me that I might need to do a quick recap on how I found my purpose. And thanks to her suggestion, many people feel like they understand my story much better now.

I also had a feeling that Brigitte’s own personal intentions would be helpful for MML. And this single line from her intention to “know when to draw the line” is going to stick with me for quite a while, “my actions matter more than my intentions.” What a true statement. No matter what we vision boards we make, mantras we repeat, or businesses we dream about, until we put one foot in front of the other to make those goals become reality, we are going to sit as Henry David Thoreau said, in quiet desperation. Thank you for this awesome insight, Brigitte.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Brigitte of Covet Chicago

Live Your Values Daily

I admit…this first one sounds pretty vague. But it’s the most powerful of my intentions, because by forcing myself to sit down and define my values and map my life goals according to them, I have a roadmap for life. I read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People at a time that I was on the path to conventional success (good job, rapid promotions, increasing salary and responsibility) but utterly unhappy. As I read, I really worked the book, dedicating my precious free time to the exercises. One that was particularly powerful for me came early. I had to envision my funeral and write my own eulogy. In imaging what I’d like my family, friends and colleagues to say about me after I lived my (hopefully long) life, I was able to clearly define my values. And I knew that if I wanted other people to describe my life according to my values, I’d have to live them every day. So my first and more important intention is to revisit my values every year and hold myself accountable to them.

Act Like Nobody’s Watching

I am the classic perfectionist, complete with the intense fear of failure that often accompanies this lovely trait. I cannot count the times I have passed up opportunities, because I was afraid to make mistakes, be the worst in class or simply to avoid scrutiny. On top of this, I was bullied as a child. I think that all adults who were once bullied hold onto a feeling that others are constantly watching them…waiting for them to slip up so they can exploit your failure for a laugh. About five years ago, I had a supervisor bluntly tell me, “It’s not all about you. No one cares one way or another.” I was liberated! No one cared if I succeeded or failed. My family would love me regardless, and other people…simply wouldn’t notice. So many of my current passions and hobbies were made possible by that simple, incredible statement.

Be Brazen…

I’m not quite committed to radical honesty, but I come pretty close. If I don’t like something you say or do, I won’t smack you in the face with it, but I won’t lie and say, “Ooh, I love that” or “I agree” when I don’t. Generally, I just keep my mouth shut. This makes me the worst person to fish for compliments with…because I’ll only take the bait if I actually believe in the compliment I’m giving. On the other hand, my friends know that they can come to me for the truth…and I’ve been told it makes my compliments that much sweeter.

But despite this habit in my daily life, I’m much more reserved when it comes to my writing and even how I define myself. Right now, I’m testing my personal limits, and I’ve let loose a few posts that feel like I’m crossing some sort of line on the public/private divide. But I’m finding that the posts that make me feel twitchy are the ones that I’m also most proud of. So…I’m daring myself to be as brazen in my writing as I am in person.

…But Know When to Draw the Line

This is where I admit that I’ve suffered from low emotional intelligence. I went all the way through college not understanding why some of my friends were “so sensitive.” One friend, in particular, would try to explain to me why my words were hurtful, and I simply didn’t get it. Of course I was kidding when I said xx (I really was). And, no, I guess I wouldn’t like her to point out yy fault of mine (but I only did it for the good of our friendship). I honestly couldn’t understand where she was coming from.

It took me 28 loooong years to figure it out. Some things just don’t need to be said. And whether or not I understand why something is hurtful (because it wouldn’t upset me) simply doesn’t matter in the end. My actions matter more than my intentions.

Always Offer a Helping Hand

When I was starting my career in PR (since abandoned!), I was helped by total and complete strangers. People I’d never met before went out of their way to meet with me, give me advice and introduce me to yet more strangers. I will never forget their generosity. That’s why, if someone asks me for my help, and I truly believe I can be of service, I don’t hesitate. I’ll review resumes, run through my rolodex or simply share some of the tricks that have worked for me. I’ve also worked an annual giving allowance into my budget, which is my way of saying thank you to the universe. And I’m ALWAYS willing to help a friend move or paint if there’s a slice of pizza and bottle of beer on the table.

Choose Joy for Yourself and Share it with Others

Would you believe me if I told you that I used to be a total drama queen? And a pessimist? I’m proof that you can change your outlook on life, simply by choosing to live the life that makes YOU happy. Not the life that others prescribe for you. I’m still a snarky girl (and I wouldn’t give it up even if I could), but I’m also a profoundly grateful and happy girl. I know that I can choose to seek out activities and books and even blogs that make me smile…or ones that trigger my heightened sense of outrage. Jess’s purpose in life is the makeunder philosophy. Mine is helping others realize that there are no safe choices…only ones that resonate deep within you and those that don’t. Always choose joy.

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant was selected in a rather unusual way. I first learned about Erin, her blog (Just One Week), and her story based on her comment she shared last week on Ashely’s Dream Report Week Three.

After reading about her life, I knew she would have a lot of insightful intentions to share. Boy was I right! Take a look below at some of her intentions. I can honestly say that I relate to so many of her experiences, as I’m sure you will too. And I am now taking stock of my own life and determining whether I have any “creep” areas that need attention or observation. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Erin of Just One Week

Don’t Creep, Decide.

When we first started dating, my husband told me that the thing he most fears is creep.  He defined creep as the act of moving from one thing to another without conscious decision.  He told me that he thought creep was the reason people were unhappy in relationships and unhappy with their careers.  He described friends’ relationships that creeped from casually dating, to long-term dating, to living together, to marriage – all without conscious decision making.  The same can be seen in people’s careers – you are miserable in your job, but you keep getting promoted or it is too difficult to leave, and so you stay and creep along.  You simply move on to the next expected step without actually deciding to make that step.  Needless to say, there has been very little creep in our relationship.  Before we moved in together, my husband initiated conversations on chores, fighting, parents, etc. all before moving day; but that doesn’t mean my entire life has been free of creep.

People Will Support You

When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor.  However, after two years of pre-med classes in college, I was passing but unhappy.  And yet I continued to creep from semester to semester.  I started to realize that my roommate would talk incessantly about her classes – she was passionate and interested in what she was studying – whereas I could barely tolerate my courses.  One night I stayed up until 6am writing my parents a letter discussing the reasons why maybe, just maybe, medical school was not the right path for me.  I called them  and read the letter the next morning.  To my shock, my father congratulated me on my decision (I didn’t know I’d made one!) and my mother expressed relief that I was changing my major.  Walking into the dean’s office that afternoon to drop my classes and change my major was exhilarating; I realized that I could control my life.  So often when we are wrestling with a big decision, we negatively (and inaccurately) anticipate other’s responses and judgments, which hinders us from making the right decision for us.  I remind myself that people WILL support me and don’t let fear of judgment (often unfounded fear) paralyze me.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Changing my major empowered me to look at other aspects of my life.  Well into my second year of college, I was terribly self-conscious and quite uncomfortable in my own skin.  In my homogeneous group of friends, I felt like I stood out – in the wrong way.  I’d always wanted to become more confident, but I didn’t know how.

Like most college campuses, while walking to class there are several student organizations looking for members or soliciting attendees for their events.  One night, I passed a friendly guy who was looking for people to join a Step group.  According to wiki stepping or step-dancing is a form of percussive dance in which the participant’s entire body is used as an instrument to produce complex rhythms and sounds through a mixture of footsteps, spoken word, and hand claps.  I told him that surely his group did not want an albino (Chicago winters are rough!), rhythm-less, awkward girl in their group.  He persisted, and I signed up.  I am a square with very precise ninety degree angles – if I sign up, I show up.  And so I became the sole white female in an African-American Step group!

If I felt self-conscious and uncomfortable before – my first day of Step practice quadrupled that feeling.  I was the only white person.  I was the only non-practicing Christian (they prayed before and after practice).  And most awkwardly, I was the only person who could not dance.  (It required several glasses of anything before I’d even dance at a crowded frat party).  But everyone was incredibly nice (people WILL support you) and with each practice I felt more and more whole.

After several months, it was time for our big show.  I had to tell my roommate that I’d joined a Step group (she kept walking in on me as I was secretly practicing in our room) but I’d hidden the group from everyone else.  My roommate wanted to come to the show and wanted to bring our friends.  I protested – claiming that I didn’t want our friends (who are predominately Jewish) to be offended by the overt Christianity of the show.   My roommate could see through my lame excuse and knew that I was worried that our (incredibly kind) friends would laugh at me or judge me.  My roommate knew that People WILL Support You, and so as I stood on the wings of the stage, I could see that my entire family had come into town and they were sitting with several of my sorority sisters.  And they did support me, and they still do.

It is not realistic (nor healthy) to spend your entire life stepping outside of your comfort zone.  A comfort zone is NOT a bad thing.  But every couple of years I try to do something that really challenges me and targets my weaknesses.  Psychologists use exposure therapy to treat phobias.  If you are exposed to something that you are scared of, and survive, it is no longer as frightening.  Dancing, sober, on stage, without music, in front of hundreds of people – I was scared.  And I survived.  Stepping outside of my comfort zone gave me confidence in myself and in my friendships.  It woke me up.  It invigorated me.  I haven’t Stepped (nor been on stage) in the 10 years since the show, but now I dance all of the time – even when sober!

Embrace the Present

People often declare that either high school or college were the best years of their lives.  I find this incredibly depressing as it shouldn’t be all downhill after 22.

As I left college and entered “the real world,” I inevitably encountered some trying times with bad jobs and bad relationships, but I would try to reflect on my mother’s habit of embracing the present.  My mom has always had distinct reasons for thinking that whatever age she was at was superior to any she’d yet experienced.  She would say that her 20’s provided freedom, her 30’s provided stability, her 40’s provided money, and her 50’s have provided time (presumably to enjoy her freedom, stability and money!).  She has always loved birthdays, celebrating each year with great fanfare.  She never lies about her age or complains about “being old.”  She has given me a great gift in that while I may mourn the passing of time, I do not mourn the fact that I’m aging.  Besides, it would be a waste of time (of the present) to fret about something that is inevitable.

Good morning! Today’s DYL is written by a very dear friend and mentor of mine, Vicki of Heavenly Metal. I first met Vicki as a college sophomore. Her adorable and unique boutique, Heavenly Metal, in Ann Arbor, Michigan was one of the first stores to carry Jess LC. Through working with Vicki via my jewelry, and eventually working for her shop part-time, I learned about self-employment and life. Vicki is always ready and willing to impart her advice in an incredibly authentic and honest way.

When I struggled with Jess LC during the first six months in Chicago, she was the only person I could seriously rely upon for business advice. Only Vicki shared my entrepreneurial spirit and understood what was at stake, and what could be gained. When I eventually asked her if it was time for me to throw in the towel, she immediately scoffed and said I had to give it at least one year. And so I took a deep breath, and did just that. Thanks to her long-term perspective, Jess LC is where it is today.

So with no further ado, I give you a peek into Vicki’s wonderful and inspiring life.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Vicki of Heavenly Metal

I have a degree in film from the University of Michigan which I put to use for a number of years. After volunteering for the Ann Arbor Film Festival for 10 or so years, I became the Festival Director, a position I held for 15 years. I thought it was my career job, but it didn’t work out that way.

Simultaneous to running the film festival, I cut hair in my little storefront business, Vicki’s Wash & Wear Haircuts. The festival office was in the back room of my haircut shop. When the festival moved out, I began selling Kathryn Arnett’s recycled metal artwork and some locally made jewelry. Word got out that there was a new store in town, so I came up with a name and started attending trade shows to bring in more product…and that’s how my gallery/gift shop Heavenly Metal was born!

Ten months into my new career I was diagnosed with breast cancer and spent the next year and a half undergoing very aggressive treatment that made me quite ill. I was unable to work because I was at high risk for infection. Fortunately friends kept my business going and the community graciously raised funds for me, as I ran out of money. Now it is 7 years since diagnosis and Heavenly Metal has become my dream come true!

I love going to work every day….my shop is cheerful, filled with unique handmade art, jewelry, bags, apparel, shoes….it’s very comfy and cozy and I feel lucky to be earning a living making my shoppers happy. Plus I get to bring my precious Lucy, an 8-lb Papillon, to work with me every day! With the relief of cancer behind me, and the knowledge I have gained owning a retail business, I’ve created a huge intention: take my business to the next level so it can gain national attention. Why keep it a hidden local treasure? This means learning about facebook and twitter and staying current with the store’s online store and blog: so much work for one little person to take on! If anyone has suggestions for me to make my intention come true, please share your thoughts! I’m soooo excited to make this work for me!

Embrace who you are.

I grew up in an unconventional family. There have been many many situations where I’ve felt awkward, where I obviously didn’t “fit in” because I’m not suburban, I’m not conventional, I’m not christian/catholic. But what I am is very deep-seated in me because of all those things I am not. I grew up in a city that had a strong mix of black and white, poor and middle class. My family embraced all (well as long as they were of the same politically liberal belief system as us) and never knew we were different from those around us.

Being different is good.

Not being like the status quo is good and its empowering. I appreciate that my upbringing exposed me to culture, politics, art, music, counter-culture, “free-thinkers”….in fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way! What I learned growing up has made me an open-minded and out-going person who does not fear because of innate mistrust in people. And check this out: I’ve never had harm come to me because of it!

It’s a total waste of time to feel sorry for yourself.

I do have regrets. I attended the wrong high school. I attended the wrong college. I didn’t fully embrace my summer abroad as a junior in high school. I smoked too much pot. I chose the wrong guys. I never left my college town. I made poor choices in my marriage. Shoulda/woulda/coulda. But when I start thinking that way, I remind myself that it’s ridiculous and a waste of time to feel regretful and sorry for myself. When I become envious of people who have great marriages and families, no financial worries, a fireplace and a piano in their house…maybe even a cottage on a lake….I remind myself that it is just silly to feel envious: I made the choices that put me where I am today. Besides, I have two toilets in my house, no difficulties keeping the heat running, a refrigerator full of food, and wonderful wonderful friends: I’m wealthy!

When feeling like it can’t get any worse, remember there are people who have it way worse.

I had breast cancer. I’m fine now, but for a year and a half I was very very sick. When closing in on the end of treatment and the beginning of recovery, many people told me I was their inspiration. I was completely dumbfounded because I didn’t feel like I’d done anything extraordinary, except to live treatment day in and day out, as was necessary. Now that I’m 7 years past all that, I remember that when I was feeling I couldn’t feel any worse, couldn’t have possibly been any sicker, I’d remind myself that there were so many others who had it much worse than me. That is the way I live day-to-day and with the world….but it was pretty brilliant to embrace that when I was sicker than anybody around me.

Life doesn’t come to you, you have to go to it.

It’s a waste of time to sit around wanting, wishing, hoping, dreaming…..if there’s something you want you have to make it happen because it’s not going to wind up unannounced in your lap. Life is hard work. To be who you want to be, to have what you want to have, you must create it, find it, make it happen….willing it for yourself is just unrealistic.

Work hard. Play hard. Relax hard.

Having work is absolutely the most important thing in the world. OK, good health, love, friends, a roof over one’s head…those are just as important but having a reason to get out of bed every morning is crucial! But just as important is being able to play….and to relax. I strongly believe in integrating work, play, and down time into my life….I may not be able to do that every day, but each one requires the other. I feel grateful for knowing and embracing that.

Make the best out of where you are.

I own a fabulous store during the hardest economic times I’ve ever experienced in my 59 years. It’s scary. I have no one to fall back on: it’s all me and nobody else. But I love my business (as do the people who walk into my store) and I thoroughly love what I’ve chosen as my career. I gave up a wonderful career in my early 50’s due to circumstances, a career I felt I’d be with my entire working life, but it didn’t work out that way. I fell into what I’m doing now (though it had always been a dream of mine) and though it’s more work than I’d bargained for, and it’s tough tough tough given where I’m located and the economy of my State, I love the task at hand. I’d love to be closing in on retirement, but that’s not going to happen so I am living my creed and making the best of what I’ve got!

Be happy. Get a dog. Like your work. Don’t waste your time with people you don’t completely love and respect. Don’t burden yourself with the things that didn’t happen.

Good morning! Today’s DYL is brought to you by none other than Ashley, the new MML Dream Reporter! After last Saturday’s resounding support for Ashley and her dreams, I am sure her intentions will be a huge hit as well. And I cannot thank Ashley enough for her quick turnaround on this piece (thank you again, lady!).

After reading her intentions, I think I might print my own “no complaining” paper for my wall. It sounds like a huge success. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Ashley

When Jess asked me to to a DYL interview I paused for a moment and thought “but I am in the middle of making huge changes in my life…I haven’t accomplished anything great yet…I don’t know what intentions I am successfully living at this point.” The fear monster took over for a few minutes then my rational mind took back control and I decided to make a list of what I absolutely know to be true in my life…and I could barely stop! I made a huge list! But to keep this simple I picked the four that I believe are the most significant in my life. And again, this is what I have learned through MY life and MY experiences….it doesn’t make it right for everyone.

No whining, complaining or gossiping

A few months ago I took a course called “Uplevel My Life” by Christine Kane (LOVE her!!). The class was all about creating your own reality with intention and creativity. The very first assignment in the 7 week class was to sign a “Complaint-Free Contract.” At first I thought…ok this is silly, I feel like I am in 2nd grade Sunday School. But I did it anyway – after all, to keep doing the same things day after day and expect different results is insanity…and I wanted different result really bad!  So I did it, I even got my fiance’ to sign it as well. I didn’t realize the impact not complaining would have on my life. It was huge! I realized just how much time and energy was going in my life to whining and complaining and focusing on all the negative stuff. I realized that when you stop doing those things you open up the space to allow for more positive stuff…abundance, happiness, kindness, even empathy. And I also realized that culminating negative energy is just plain exhausting. Now, I am no saint – there are still times when I bitch out the driver in front of me – but my life is much more peaceful than it ever was before. It may seem like an “airy-fairy” concept but for me it has been extremely practical. My life runs so much smoother when there is no complaining involved. It leaves space for the goodness to flow.

get very very very clear

I am still in the beginning stages of living a life with intention. I am just starting to create the life I dream of living. Do you want to know the first step I took to help me get a jump start into action? I got very, very, very clear. I took some time so sit and imagine and then document exactly what I wanted to BE, to DO and to HAVE in my life. I imagined what it would feel like to wake up to see that something I had created had sold while I was sleeping. I imagined what it would smell like to sit in a room with a group of women who are just as passionate about living life intentionally and with compassion as I am. I imagined what it would taste like to have an organic lunch in a beautiful diner with a challenging mentor. I imagined what it would feel like to fit into a pair of jeans that didn’t require me to secretly keep the top button undone all day. I imagined what my life would look like to wake up each morning excited about the day and to be at peace with my current situation.

I avoided getting clear for years. It seemed much more fun to start a new life venture with a huge action item that would produce immediate results. I would have much rather done that than take a step back and actually get completely clear. But for me, along with clarity comes the decision to take responsibility for my life, it means that I am able to make decisions and choices from my purest place – my heart, and it also contributes to a huge feeling of empowerment in every circumstance I face.

Getting clear started the ball rolling in the direction of my dreams. It was almost as if getting clear magically told the universe to start moving on my behalf. My clarity became the antidote to my fear monsters. I honesty feel like it has made magic happen.

create your own rules

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can thank my mom for this one. She taught me at a very early age that I can be whoever I want to be and to never let anyone tell me I can’t. And probably because of that (and possible a bit of my personality) I have never ever followed the rules…and gotten into a good bit of trouble! One thing that devastates me is to witness a person live their life without believing they have options. Most of these people just look around and do what everyone else is doing. They don’t realize that there are unlimited possibilities in any given situation, even when it feels like there aren’t, and that they can do or be anything that they want to do or be.  For many years I was involved in a spiritual organization that suffocated my uniqueness and individuality. They told me that to be great is to be like so-and-so and to be worthy and holy and pure is to think like so-and-so. Certain people were put on a pedestal and all the others who didn’t make it were left to wonder what the hell was wrong with them. Eventually I reached a point within my own heart where I realized what was happening and I moved away from that way of thinking. I was allowing someone else to tell me what was right and wrong for my life and to create the rules that I was living by. Largely because of that situation I now see that every single person is different and that is good! If everyone was the same this world would suck pretty bad.

Along these same lines I am currently engaged to the sweetest boy alive (I honestly think so!). We are planning to get married this year (or maybe next -who knows, there are no rules, right?) but as I have been planning my wedding I have been thinking a lot about how important it is to create your own rules. The rules tell me that I need to have bridesmaids and a cake and a diamond ring and pocketfold invitations and to walk down the isle while holding flowers with my man waiting on me to arrive at the other end. When I really think about doing those things, and I mean really feeling what it would feel like to be that person, it just doesn’t feel right to me. Having bridesmaids would feel really odd to me, putting an invitation in an envelope within another envelope and then a pocketfold kind of seems even more bizarre….and walking down an isle with my love waiting on me would feel even weirder….aren’t we in this together? Isn’t this a day for us share our connection and love with the world and commit to love each other forever? It’s not that I think those things are bad at all… I love weddings and, as a designer, I do a ton of invitation designs that include all of those “traditional” elements. But I can’t help to think to myself, what would my life look like if I didn’t realize I could create my own rules? Would I really be happy? Would I ever believe that I am ok exactly as I am? What I see unlimited possibilities? I doubt it.

So thanks mom!

never ever ever judge

It is SO easy to judge. I caught a glimpse of The Bachelor a couple of weeks ago and I almost threw up in my mouth. I sat there for a few minutes talking to myself about how insanely insecure and stupid these women seemed to do something that appeared to me to be so degrading. But here’s the thing. I don’t know their story. I have no idea what their lives have been like, therefore I have no idea what their thought processes are and why they make the decision they make. Ive learned that when I approach people who live their lives differently than I live mine to always remain open to their story. I honestly have no idea what they have been through and more than likely they are doing the best they can.

I have my own story. It is because of the bizarre elements of my story that I have learned to be open to the fact that although people are influenced by their stories, they are NOT their past. The experiences of my life have had a huge influence on the things I do, say and believe and I feel that the same is true for everyone else I encounter. I really can tell a difference when I encounter a person who is experiencing me for exactly who I am and not judging or critiquing my every word or move. That’s the kind of person I want to be to others. Being open and willing to let go of labels and stories has allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life and in all types of circumstances. Being open to the goodness of humanity rather than getting caught up in judgments creates so much more room for connection and collaboration.

I kind of feel like for me judgment always comes back to insecurity. Its a comfortable way to size up my life and make sure that I come out on top. It also ensures that I stay completely stuck in my own yuckiness.

When I remember this my world is so much more peaceful and my heart has more space for love and compassion. When I see someone who is smoking around a child, or who is overweight to a scary point the first place that I go in mind now is not “how can they do that – they are so stupid and lazy”…Instead I have learned to go to a place of compassion (though it is an ongoing process). For me, its a much happier space to live in.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is brought to you by Jeanine of AphroChic. As I have mentioned (many times before), Jeanine’s business, textiles, and spirit have inspired me to take Jess LC to the next level. She is also a style and interior design blogger, check out her blog, AphroChic. And she recently did a stint as a Lucky Mag blogger(!!).

Though Jeanine has already gone above and beyond to help guide and support me with my new changes, I couldn’t help but ask her to participate in a DYL. The ability to peek inside her brain and see what principals she values is priceless. What struck me personally about her DYL is the intention to dream big dreams. I’m taking a note out of her book and doing the same myself!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jeanine of AphroChic

Always dare to be different.

Being different is a wonderful thing.  Since I was a child, I have always been different.  I was an incredibly outspoken six year old, who loved politics, and dreamed of becoming a minister, a fashion designer and a writer (all at once).  Why not?  There were times when I didn’t always accept my difference.  Why couldn’t I be quieter?  Why did I have to be so opinionated?  But now, at 31, living out my dream as a designer, I understand that there is a power in my difference, and a strength in my voice and my vision.  It’s what sets me a part from everyone else, and what makes my work unique.  And most importantly, being different and offering a new perspective makes me happy.

Don’t be confined by one vision of who you are and what your life should be.

Life can take you on a number of twists and turns and you can’t be confined by one vision of yourself.  One day you’re a lawyer, and the next you’re making pillows.  That’s my story.  And yes, it seems strange that someone who spent so much time studying political science and law would one day go into textile design.  But, if I had only allowed myself to be and do one thing, I would not be on this amazing journey I am on now.  I’ve learned not to be confined by who I “should be”.  I am open to all of the opportunities that life has to offer.

Dream big dreams, and then make them come true.

I have learned that the bigger the dreams, the bigger the goals and the accomplishments that follow.   I have never been afraid to dream big.  At the start of every new year I sit at my desk and make a list of my goals for the next 12 months.  It’s a list of dreams and big thinking for my company and what I want to accomplish.  It’s a list I constantly revisit and tweak, and it keeps me focused on the big things I want in life.   When you are focused on what you want, when you believe you can and will fulfill your goals, you’ll be amazed about what comes true.

Don’t listen.

Truth be told, I am a terrible listener.  I have always been guided by my own thoughts and intuition.  I never do things by the book, and enjoy thinking outside of the box.  If I listened to what others said, I never would have changed my career and followed my passion.  I would not be living a life that fulfills my creative spirit.  Sometimes, it’s important to know that the most important person to listen to is yourself.

Never go it alone.

My husband is the love of my life and my partner in all things.  Everything we do, we do together, and it’s his support that helps me reach my goals.  Whether it’s a partner, a mentor or a friend, it is important to surround yourself with positive influencers, people who push you, who believe in you, and who help you be your very best self.  I could never have transitioned to this new path or reached my goals alone.  It’s the support of my partner that helps me make my dreams a reality.

Always have fun.

I have always been a Type A personality.  For years my life was on a constant path of stress, the need to control, and more stress.  But now that I’ve discovered a new life as a designer, I want to enjoy what I’m passionate about, and those Type A traits just aren’t fun.  I spend a lot of time each day working on building a business and brand, but I spend just as much time having fun and enjoying what I do.  When life stops being fun, when you can’t find the laughter, it’s time to move on to something new.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

We all have our favorite tv shows.* We all have our favorite blogs. My favorite tv shows are Curb Your Enthusiasm and Private Practice. And near the top of my (long) blog list are The Pioneer Woman and Life in the Fun Lane. Which means featuring Holly of Life in the Fun Lane today on DESIGN YOUR LIFE is just as exciting as having Katherine Walsh do an interview on my MML.

Or at least that’s how I see it.

If you haven’t seen Holly’s amazing furniture and home renovations and you’re the slightest bit interested in interior design, please visit her site right now. Then come back and read her awesome intentions which help her design such a beautiful life. While you are at it, you might also want to take a look at her furniture shop, White Berry Reinvented.

Ok, now it’s time I stop gushing about Holly and get on to her intentions. Ahem.

Though all of her intentions are awesome, I particularly empathize with her intention and struggle to let go of her furniture creations. I think the same feelings apply to a lot of us concerning our possessions as well. Sometimes we hold onto things longer than necessary, only to realize that once we exfoliate, we feel so much better. Take a look at her intention “to share what she loves” to see what I mean.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Holly of Life in the Fun Lane

If you love something, share it.

Once upon a time I used to think that bigger was better and less was not more. In some instances it may still hold true, but for the most part I have started to see the beauty in loving something and letting it go. I guess it kind of comes with the territory of my new occupation. Every time I work on a piece of furniture a little bit of my heart and soul goes into its transformation and I always feel a small twinge of uncertainty before it leaves to a new home. “Should I have kept that one? Will I ever love another one as much?” the hoarder in me temporarily takes over for a split second until I regain control. The funny thing is that as soon as it is gone I always feel successful, inspired and motivated to keep working but I have yet to master the moments just before that.  Slowly I am getting better and better at it, and when I actually step back and think about it I really want to apply it to other areas of my life besides my business. If it really brings me so much happiness then imagine how good it will feel to pass that feeling on.

Write your own road map for success, but read the traffic signs on your journey.

Remember all those exercises in school where they tell you to write out your goals, make a life plan, etc.? I did them all, and thought I was nowhere close to what I had imagined. Until I took a second look and realized so what if I’m not a lawyer or high-paid corporate CEO? When I wrote my goals (at like age 15) they were what I thought would make me happy at the time (money, high-powered glamorous jobs). I am REALLY happy with my job now, in fact I love it! So I guess my plan may not have been job-specific but I actually met my goals in a more important way. Sometimes it is necessary to be really specific, but I have to remember there is a bigger picture. I think that it is much more important to write out your priorities long before you focus on goals. Because sometimes the two don’t go hand in hand, and I can’t believe I might have missed my sign to slow down and take a chance.

Embrace imperfection.

I think this one is natures attempt at irony. I have absolutely no troubles seeing the beauty in really ugly furniture, bent and faded books, and chipped old plates but I have a hard time letting a dirty plate on the counter go. I am not insistant that the house always be in magazine-ready form but a wet towel on the bathroom floor just bugs me a little too much. I need to let go a little when it comes to my expectations around the house and spend more time enjoying my time at home.

Never stop finding out who you are.

If you would have asked me who I was 8 or 10 years ago my teenage self would have told you I knew who I was, where I was headed and a whole lot more (because I knew everything then, duh!). My sister was the creative free spirit, I was the rational smart one. Never in a million years did I imagine that only 10 years later my life would pretty much revolve around creativity. I guess that was something I didn’t see then. And as I get older I see many other things that I had no idea were there like my desire to be a little less rational, and becoming more capable of taking chances. I am sure that in another 10 years I will look back and be amazed yet again the mysteries I have unveiled inside of me.

Learn how to not kill your plants.

This one is pretty straight forward. Today I actually bought a cactus so we will see how that goes. I haven’t tried killing one of those yet.

Simplicity.

While I LOVE things, I don’t want to be bound to them. I guess it relates back to #1 again, because I think that letting go is really the secret to simplicity. By most people’s standards I think I am actually fairly simple in most areas of my life. I don’t text, have no need for a facebook page, am not chained to desk 8 hours a day, spend relatively little time online with the exception of my blog and business, rarely watch movies, etc. For the most part I enjoy a good book, playing with Wren and decorating. But I want to improve on being more efficient at things like housework and finishing our renovations so that I can spend even more time enjoying those simple pleasures. To accomplish that I think it will have to be a combination of spending a little more money to get the renos done already (with a little help) instead of burdening ourselves with doing everything all the time (even though that sure is rewarding!) as well as organizing and planning the spaces we are working on to be more efficient when they are done. Oh how I long for the days when I didn’t trip over tool belts while cleaning the bathrooms and cans of paint when doing laundry.  But at the same time I have to let go and just live in the moment!

* Except those people who don’t watch tv. And to those intellectual few, I give you a high-five and commend you. For you are far cooler than me and my Tivo lineup.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is pretty freaking awesome. Though Stephanie and I both graduated from Michigan the same year, I didn’t meet her officially until she moved to Chicago last year. Which is strange, considering how alike we are. Her passion for her blog and personal training is outstanding. She is also one of the most genuine, purposeful, and energetic people I’ve ever met. Really. If you don’t believe me, check out her blog videos to see for yourself.

Knowing how intentional she is with her training and life coaching, I thought she’d have some insightful intentions. I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I got goosebumps reading her intentions. I am now more excited to fulfill my own intentions after reading her DYL. And I’m also excited to get into the gym and do some workouts with her. This girl has abs.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Stephanie of Step It Up With Steph

It’s My Way, or Everyone Else’s Way

Growing up, I was constantly asking, “What should I do?” about anything and everything: from the pants I should wear as a child to the classes I should take as a college student, I always thought that I’d find the answers from other people. I would ask my parents, friends, advisers, classmates, and mentors what THEY thought I should do in certain situations, how I should respond, what I should dress like, or what actions I should take. After a lifetime of trying to do things “Everyone else’s way”, I decided to start trusting myself and doing things MY way. Not in a snotty, “my way or the highway” sense, but more like I know that I have the answers to my questions, so why would I do things someone else’s way, when I can do it my own way? When I started practicing yoga five years ago, all of this started clicking, and while I still ask for advice, at the end of the day I ultimately conclude that I need to do things my way.

Live Your Passion

Since high school, I’ve always wanted to spread happiness, health, and fitness through the media. When I graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in Communications in 2007, I knew I wanted to go into television to spread those things, but I thought I needed to gain experience before doing my own thing. Therefore, I moved to New York City within a week’s notice to take a public relations job at Lifetime TV because I’m very passionate about women’s issues and the media. After only two months on the job, multiple breakdowns, and the constant voice in the back of my head telling me “this is not your passion!”, out of the blue I got a call from a job I had applied for months prior: the Dr. Phil show in Los Angeles. The only contingency on this job offer was that I had to quit my Lifetime job, move across the country, and start my Dr. Phil job within a week. So, I gave my week’s notice on a Monday, worked my last day at Lifetime on a Friday, packed and flew to LA Saturday, found an apartment, and started Dr. Phil that Monday. After working on the show for a season, and feeling pressured by coworkers and parents to continue for a second season because it was the safe thing to do in this economy, I decided to stay true to my first intention (see above), and quit. I had NO idea what was next for me. So I took a secretarial desk job that bored me to pieces and ultimately motivated me to live my passion – I did my yoga, pilates, personal training, and life coaching training and certifications, and just KNEW that Step It Up with Steph was my passion. I haven’t looked back since!

Quick Decisions

I know that when I want something, I get it. However, the problem for me is deciding WHAT I want. One of my trainers once told me that if you can’t make a decision in 9 seconds, you’re not ready to make that decision. I thought about that for a minute, and now daily reflect on it. ALL of my major life decisions have been instinctively made very quickly. Accepting my Lifetime TV job, the Dr. Phil job, creating Step It Up with Steph, dumping a boyfriend, moving to Chicago, etc. While this may be viewed as “impulsive”, I believe that when I’m connected with myself and my innermost desires, I am able to make these quick decisions intelligently and intuitively rather than out of fear or based solely on impulse.

The Road Not Taken

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” -Robert Frost

Growing up, I remember being called “weird”. In high school, I was also called “weird” (not sure why, because I was also voted prom queen…) But, alas, I guess if being friendly to everyone and a bit crazy (in a fun way) is considered “weird”, then I am! However, even though growing up people thought I was weird, I didn’t let that stop me from being myself. Sure, it made me feel unsettling inside, but I didn’t want to change myself or how I acted just to follow the herd. There is a saying that 80% of the world is consisted of followers, and 20% are leaders. In order to be in that 20%, I believe we have to take “The Road Not Taken”, as my favorite poet Robert Frost says. I remember reading this poem in middle school, and its message has stuck with me ever since. Of course 80% of the population is going to think I’m “weird”, but my intention is to take the road less traveled, and then bring the 80% along with me!

Acting Out of Love vs. Fear

Sometime in college I read Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love. I know Jess has mentioned this book in her blog, and it has also inspired me. (So much so that I interned for Marianne for a summer) The main take-away for me from Marianne’s book is to question myself: Do I act out of love, or out of fear? When I act out of love, I’m connecting to my deeper self, a higher being, or God (however you’d like to look at it.) When I act out of fear, I’m often escaping the very thing that may help me grow.

Acting out of Love – for MYSELF.

I’ve tried to treat myself with respect, kindness, and love as often as possible. But never was this love for myself tested so much as during a past relationship/breakup. I had been dating someone for almost two years. What started as a long-distance “fling” turned into my first serious relationship: “I love you’s” were exchanged daily, “forever” was mentioned, and he moved across the country to be with me. We were the picture perfect couple, but slowly things started deteriorating. I knew it wasn’t right, but when you love someone so much, that part inside you wants things to work out and you tend to ignore the flashing red lights. I ignored the red lights for a while, and even ignored the shooting pains in my leg when I would talk to him (talk about mind-body connection!), and finally decided that I needed to respect myself, my body, my mind, and my spirit. I needed to love MYSELF as much as I was loving him. I no longer stay in unserving relationships, whether they are romantic or friendships, out of guilt, weakness, fear, or out of the hope that things will get better. Now when I’m dating someone, and even in relationships and opportunities in general, I really pay attention to how I’m feeling deep down when I’m around this person or in this situation, and don’t ignore my instincts, talk myself out of my feelings, or blow off shooting pains

If you can dream it, you can do it.

Daily I am amazed by what seems to be dropped in my lap in regards to my business. While I am hustling to spread healthy, fitness, & happiness to the masses, I am still repeatedly blown away by opportunities, people, and resources that come my way to support my dream. It reinforces to me that if I can dream it, I can do it, and so can anyone else. When I’m being true to myself, living my purpose & passions, and acting out of love rather than fear, it’s like I am signaling to the universe, “Yes, bring me more of that!” I’ve also heard someone say that the bigger the WHY, the easier the HOW. If you know why you have a certain dream or goal, it will be a lot easier to figure out how you’re going to achieve it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DYL is by Steph of Love in the Time of Foreclosure. I first met Steph online through blogging and then in person this summer at Chiblogo. It was great to meet her and hear her story firsthand. As you will read below, she has had quite a year.

And whether you yourself are facing foreclosure, debt, or another major challenge, reading Steph’s intentions are encouraging. Though she’s not immune to dissapointment, her resiliency shines brightly. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Steph of “Love in the Time of Foreclosure”

Be happy. Now.

In the midst of fighting to save our house from foreclosure while drowning under our serious debt I noticed something strange… I was happier. Happier than I’d ever been, in fact. How on earth was that possible? On the surface it didn’t seem to make sense. Until I realized that I was simply choosing to be happy. Now. Not waiting for things to turn around, because who knew if they ever would. I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. It is possible to be happy at any given moment no matter what the circumstances in life. Throughout the entire eleven months of fighting to save our house from foreclosure and hold onto the life we knew in Los Angeles this became my mantra. Be happy. Now. There’s no waiting for things to get better in order to be happy. What if they never get better? That would mean I’d never get to be happy and that does not work for me. So I choose happiness.

Allow vulnerability

I’ve always been a crier. As a kid, this embarrassed me to no end. It was impossible for me to hold my emotions back. To wear a mask of any kind. So many times I wanted to hide my emotions away, but wasn’t able. I saw my inability to hide myself as a flaw. I don’t know when it happened but there was some point in my life when I finally embraced my ability to put it all out there. This has materialized in the most concrete way in my blog, “Love in the Time of Foreclosure.” Writing has always been my way to sort things out for myself. And now I write about my most vulnerable moments in a public fashion. Putting it all out there for the world to see. The benefit? When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it’s easier to be at peace with yourself… and people are in turn vulnerable with you. Life gets so much more real. Forget about surface conversations… deep conversations and connections with people just happen. Worlds open up. People open up. And life just is more fulfilling.

Life is easier when you’re helping others

I met my husband on a 500 mile bike ride from Minneapolis to Chicago to raise money for people living with AIDS. We like to say that our first date was six days and 500 miles long. On the ride we noticed an interesting phenomena while climbing hills. If we focused on cheering our fellow riders on, we’d be at the top before we even realized we were climbing a hill. Putting our focus on helping others seemed to be the trick. When we didn’t, the hill was always harder. That’s when we’d notice the pain and would start thinking the hill was impossible. This phenomena extends to all areas of life. When I’m focused on helping others, my life seems so much easier.

Leave it all on the track

I ran track and cross country in high school and my senior year I battled injuries- stress fractures and a strained hip flexor. When I was able to compete, I was extremely disappointed by my performance that was nowhere as good as the year prior. Each time I stepped to the starting line it was more about, “Am I going to let myself down again this time?” than anything else. Not the best way to compete. Towards the end of the season before one particularly inconsequential dual meet my coach said to me, “Don’t think about winning. Think about leaving it all on the track. If you go out there and give everything you’ve got and make sure that at the end of the race you’ve put it all on the track and you have nothing left, that’s what matters. Think about that.” Those words rang so true. They were a call to action. I can do that, I thought. It’s not about perfectionism or even winning the race, but knowing that you lived full out and held nothing back. Ever since that day, that’s been the standard I hold myself to in life.

Don’t let a perfectly good crisis go to waste

Last year speaking about the economic crisis, Rahm Emanuel said, “You never want to let a serious crisis go to waste.” There is opportunity in every crisis. The opportunity to do things you wouldn’t have been able to do before. That’s exactly how Bob and I viewed our personal financial crisis. In fact, we made a promise to each other to not let it go to waste. To learn from every moment. To grow as a couple and as individuals. To rise to the occasion. We talked about how things might look bleak, but that if we kept at it we could actually create huge opportunities beyond what we ever imagined. We didn’t save our house, but we did end up living rent-free in a big farmhouse in one of the most beautiful places in the world- San Juan Island. We haven’t recovered our income, but Bob landed a job with a great company where he gets to work from home and I became a blogger. Beyond all of that, though, what we gained from our crisis was the knowledge that we can weather any storm. And that our marriage, love, health and happiness are by far our highest priorities.

Be grateful in good times and bad

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well but it’s almost more important to be grateful when they’re not. This is what got us through the year of marriage counseling and the year of our financial meltdown. Gratitude. We put it into practice. When one of us is feeling down and out or downright sorrowful, the other will ask, “Name one thing you’re grateful for right now.” It’s impossible to not find one thing. At the very least we can say, “I’m grateful for you.” Or, “I’m grateful for Pablo.” (Pablo is our Pug dog.) Or, “I’m grateful for the love of my family and friends.” Expressing gratitude – especially in ‘bad’ times – has a magical effect. It’s worked wonders for us. In fact, it worked yesterday. When we were miserable because our pipes froze and we were freezing and feeling lonely missing our family and friends and our old house and Los Angeles… Bob said he was grateful for something. I honestly don’t even remember what. But it worked. It changed my focus from what we didn’t have to what we do have. And that’s a lot.

Acquire experiences, not things

This is one that I always agreed with but never really put into practice. Until our financial crisis. Through selling 90% of our possessions in a giant estate sale, I began my detachment to material possessions and honing the extremely important distinction between want and need. I firmly believe that less is more and more is burden. We are so done working to pay for things we own. Instead our life is now about acquiring experiences. I love that!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Before I get into today’s DYL let me do a few quick announcements. (Wow, kind of sounds like I’m a teacher…)

• Thank you, Holly, at Decor8 for announcing the first Spring Video Blog about Gratitude! It was incredible of her to feature our brand new project. And I’m also blown away by the number of people who are already supporting our new baby. And in case you are interested, we are also doing a giveaway for five adorable Gratitude journals – so hop on over to win one.
• Thank you to Magchunk for doing an awesome interview with me yesterday. Her questions were a joy to answer. And is it just me, or does Erwin kind of look like a rap moghul?
• And once again, I am doing a trunk show at Macy’s on State St. today and tomorrow from 11-5. Come say hi, grab some holiday gifts, and use your Macy’s coupons for discounts on Jess LC jewelry.

Okay, back to the DESIGN YOUR LIFE at hand. Today’s interview is with Kaileen Elise. I first found Kaileen through her awesome blog, which is almost a cousin to MakeunderMyLife. In fact, I feel like Kaileen and I might even somehow be cousins on some weird “life purpose” level. Reading her intentions, topics, and perspectives was like hearing an echo of my own thoughts. She has some great features that I’ve enjoyed reading including the Joy Diet. I definitely recommend reading her blog if you are a fan of designing a life with intention.

After reading her DYL, I think I might put her favorite quote (mentioned in her “Believe in the Extraordinary” intention) on my 2010 Intention Board. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Kaileen Elise

Wake up with a smile.

For months I’ve tried to renovate my morning routine. My attempts have ranged from waking up super early to picking my outfit the night before, but nothing was achieving my desired outcome. I was searching for peaceful mornings, a way to begin my day with calmness and joy. I finally settled on beginning my day with a smile.

Every night before I fall asleep, I think about how I want the next day to play out—an easy morning commute, positive feedback at work, a refreshing yoga practice and a fun night at home with my mister. I tell myself that I’m going to sleep well and wake up rested.

I’ve realized that I cannot control every aspect of my day-to-day, but starting it off with a smile puts me in the best possible position. These days I find myself waking before my alarm goes off with a sleepy smile on my face.

Find inspiration everywhere.

Unlike the elusive peanut butter jar in the pantry, inspiration can be found easily when you are searching for it.

Being inspired everyday is one step towards the life of my dreams. The blogging and twitter community has helped immensely in my pursuit of this intention. The amount of creative talent in the world is completely encouraging.

Part of this intention is creating environments where I feel inspired. I keep my desk organized, but full of tiny details that make my life special—family photos, quotes to live by, trinkets and pictures that make me smile.

Enjoy simple moments.

When it comes to leading a purposeful life, enjoying simple moments is at the top of my list.. Like most people, I have a busy schedule with a to-do list longer than my arm. I stay connected to my goals and dreams throughout the day with several simple exercises: meditating while my tea brews, having meaningful conversations with friends, reading an interesting blog, connecting with new Twitter friends, writing in my journal, breathing on purpose and listening to motivating podcasts.

Live and love with heart.

Buddha said, “Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” Deep in the center of our soul there is a voice that guides us—it shines light on confusing circumstances and helps us see things as they really are, rather than as they seem to be. Living and loving with heart is my path towards being authentic, sharing myself, and opening up to the guidance of my intuition.

Put myself on the list.

I think every person has the “list” – the one that dictates the many priorities for a given day.  It’s a common practice for busy people (especially women) to leave personal care off the list. One of my intentions is to take care of my needs—emotionally, physically, spiritually, creatively, nutritionally, and otherwise—so I can be in a better place to help others. I am much happier when I drink plenty of water, eat fresh foods, practice yoga and smile often.

Believe in the extraordinary.

Believe in the extraordinary sums up one of my favorite quotes:

Belief in yourself and in the possibility of success is the most important requirement for living an extraordinary life. Believe in belief.  Believe in yourself and the best of the world will come to you–and…you will be prepared to receive it. Don’t sell yourself short. You do not require permission to be extraordinary.

-Richard Quick, 6-time coach the US Olympic Swim Team

If there is one thing that gives me the motivation to pursue my dreams, it’s my belief in the possibility of extraordinary events becoming commonplace in my life.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you and your families have a great holiday and enjoy a homemade meal. I’d also like to let you know how thankful I am for you reading this blog and making my life more purposeful.

I personally am staying in Chicago and having Thanksgiving with my cousin, Danny. We’ll be making our Grandpa’s homemade gnocchi recipe and I prepared my mom’s chocolate chip cheese cake as our dessert. Though it’s hardly a traditional dinner, we will have a lot of fun making the dumplings and enjoying a few brewskies. Since we both will be visiting our families in a month for Christmas, we decided to stay in the city this weekend.

Today’s DYL is not your average DYL. Not at all. Which is what makes it pretty great. “LiLu” (her internet persona) is the blogger behind Live It, Love It, a hilarious blog about her life. Enjoy her intentions with a grain of salt and a lot of laughter. After all, there’s plenty to be thankful for when we take life less seriously. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: LiLu of “Live It, Love It”

Keep Expectations Low in All Facets of Your Life

Think about it. If you start remembering birthdays, calling Grandma every Sunday, showing up to work on time, and showering each morning, people will then expect you to do these things ALL THE TIME. Manipulate your environment so that every time you do something thoughtful, or responsible, it is regarded as a pleasant surprise rather than a given.

Surround Yourself With People Who Get Your Own Weird-Ass Sense of Humor

Everyone knows laughter = good times, right? Right. You should seek out friends who are not quite as funny or smart as you, but will still laugh at your jokes. It is a delicate balance, much like the correct number of tequila shots one can consume in a night without ralphing.

Being One of the Cool Kids Probably Means Acting a Little Slutty

No one wants to hang out with Miss Prissy Prissface McGee. Let your hair down a little, toss the occasional blowjay joke out there! This will especially endear you to fellow female colleagues in the office, especially at, say, a work Happy Hour. Make sure to constantly mention your “Whorey College Days” to ensure quicker bonding with gal pals!

Prefer to Laugh With the Sinners Than Cry With the Saints

Billy had it right. Life is short, man. And in one religion or another, we’re all going to Hell, so you might as well pull your pants down and moon someone on the ride there. Additionally, offensive jokes are the spice of life, so long as you make sure to offend EVERY demographic equally.

Disregard All Senses of Dignity, Pride, and Self-Respect in the Name of Having Fun

Nobody ever got a great story out of drinking “just enough”. Clothes don’t just fall off by themselves! Timmy isn’t going to end up with a lampshade on his head in case you’re PROACTIVE about it. I recommend pre-gaming early, and with moonshine. Good rule of thumb: Post your pictures on Facebook EARLY the next morning, before anyone has time to untag them. Friendship is knowing what’s best for the world, and that means sharing everything in the name of hilarity.

Tell Little White Lies to Strangers Often, For Your Own Amusement

This little “ism” is not only great for entertainment value, but has the added bonus of keeping your mind sharp! Thinking on your feet to come up with new and ridiculous details about your fake long lost twin, terminal disease, or secret torrid relationship with Jude Law (and his nanny, who knows! Get crazy with it!) will keep your brain active and your creative juices flowing. Whenever you get caught, just scream a few obscenities, bark “TOURRETTE’S!!!!!!!” in your audience’s face, and move it on down to the next watering hole.

Don’t Ever Be Afraid to Dance Like a Moron

Oh. Is that just me who does that?

Well, CRAP.

Follow these easy-peasy steps and you’re guaranteed the ride of a lifetime. Or chlamydia. Or BOTH! You can have it all!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! As you read this I am busy getting ready for another Macy’s Chicago Desginer Trunk show from 11-5 today and tomorrow. If you are around State St. this afternoon and want to say hi- please do!

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is brought to you by our newest MakeunderMyLife sponsor, Rebecca of The Pink Orange. If you haven’t seen her invitations and stationary, I highly recommend checking out her adorable brand spanking new website and Pink Orange blog! I’ll be talking more about that next week. She also has a more personal blog here, Ella Minnow Pea.

I loved reading Rebecca’s intentions. It was great to find out what started The Pink Orange and what lies on her horizon: motherhood. Plus, I now have another friend who enjoys cheese as much as I do.

Enjoy her intentions, I have a feeling they are going to strike home with a lot of people.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rebecca of The Pink Orange

What an honor to have Jess ask me to write for her weekly Design Your Life series. I am so grateful for all the support I have gotten both from online friends and “real life” friends as I have aggressively pursued my dreams- dreams that include both personal and professional pursuits. For me, they really do go hand in hand, and I think you will understand why as you read.

I remember when my husband and I first starting dating, we went to a local amusement park. We both love roller coasters so much and were lucky that it was so early in the season this particular night. I think we rode the roller coaster for an hour straight, because each time the ride came to an end, we were allowed to stay in our seats because no one else was waiting in line. I have always related life to a roller coaster. It has it’s ups and downs, but without them what kind of ride would it be?

LOVE WHAT YOU DO

I remember working one of my first jobs out of design school and I was absolutely miserable. I made a decent salary, but I would inevitably wake up stressed and tense before I even arrived at work. I really thought long and hard and realized that I work about 75% of my day. Why should I be miserable? At the time, I had already started my business as a part time endeavour. I realized that life and work isn’t about the amount of a paycheck, it is about self-worth, pride in my accomplishments and loving what I do on a daily basis. My husband and I were just shy of 3 months from our wedding and I left my full time job to start my business. It has been 3.5 years and I haven’t looked back.

LOVE WHO YOU ARE

I love myself and I love my life. I say those words every morning. Don’t laugh, I really do.

Growing up, I had terrible self-confidence issues. I was constantly comparing myself to my friends – and I had wonderful friends! Whether they had material things that I didn’t, a better car, or prettier, I never really felt good enough. Friends that loved me for who I was and now friends that love me for who I am. I finally realized though, all along that I had that self-confidence, I just needed to uncover it. I also realized that loving myself and my life wasn’t about what I had in my life, it is who is in my life and what I achieve in life. My parents taught me so well that self-respect and confidence will get you anywhere you want to go. It really is true. I have gained the self-confidence to step outside of my normal comfort zone and take risks. Risks that have allowed me to be successful and proud of what I do!

LOVE THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE

This is HUGE for me! The comments on my blog, a quick happy email, a blink from my husband, catching a wave at the beach, the cheese sandwich at lunch (which I love by the way), a fire in our fireplace while I snuggle with my husband under a blanket are the best things that money can’t buy and give me the most happiness.

Which brings me to my next intention.

LOVE AND LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST

Don’t take anything for granted. I kiss my husband and tell him I love him each and every morning. I give myself a morning pep talk and tell myself…”you can do this” even when things seem otherwise.

I never thought I took things for granted until I was faced with infertility. I realized that in the past I had indeed assumed things in life. I never thought it would happen to me. I assumed I would become a mom on my time and my terms. I realized that life doesn’t work like that. I realized that my plan isn’t always God’s plan for me. I took a step (or 2) back and realized I just needed to live life and let good things come my way. I just needed to keep my eye on the prize and let life take its course. Following life like this has been one of the healthiest rides for me. I take each day one day at a time and life it to its fullest. This intention has also helped me get through our fertility procedures and now while we wait to be matched with a mom for our adoption. It makes each day very exciting and rewarding. One of my favorite quotes by Ralph Marston is “start each day the way you wish to live it.” I have it taped to my computer monitor.

QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

This is an intention that holds true in both my personal and professional life. I found that a handful of wonderful supportive friends who I can talk to, cry to and vent to, is more important that having too many friends that I can’t keep up with. I have also found that in my professional career, it is OK to say no and ask for what you want. Quality professional relationships are ones that I treasure and cherish and will forever be grateful for.

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

…you aren’t old until you feel old. This is probably one of my favorite intentions. There are days when I actually forget my age because I feel that at any age, you can accomplishment anything you put your mind too. I do not take no for an answer.

With this intention, I also feel like you aren’t too old for anything. My husband and I have so much fun in life together! He is my biggest fan both personally and professionally and I’m so grateful and really quite lucky! I am also one lucky lady to be able to take this ride with him, because it is a ride that I don’t plan on getting off anytime soon.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

As I mentioned on Tuesday, three lovely ladies and I are starting a new video conversation called Spring where we will talk about passion, intention, and many ideas shared on these DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews each week. Carolyn and Michelle have already shared their intentions in previous DYL interviews, so I’m excited to share the fourth member, Jess Gonacha Swift’s intentions this week.

Some of you may already be familiar with Jess via her amazing artwork, etsy store, or blog. Though we are relatively new friends, reading her intentions makes me so appreciative of Spring (cuz I get to work with great ladies like Jess!). Given the opportunity to do my own DYL over again, I think it is definitely possible that I would have written five of her six intentions verbatim. Along with sharing the same first name, love of design, and life intentions we also have a dislike for washing dishes.

We’re definitely soul mates.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jessica of JessicaGonachaSwift

Be grateful

Moments of real, true, deep gratitude for me are exceptionally healing and inspiring. It happens often when I’m out walking in nature– there’s something magical about being outside that helps me connect with how big and vast and miraculous our world and the universe are. When I can connect to this sense of gratitude for everything around me, I feel calm, centered, and full of believing that everything is exactly as it should be.

Trust and listen to myself

This is an intention that I’m really working on lately, as I have a real tendency to compare myself to other people and what they are doing, then turning it around on myself to feel as if I’m not doing enough, or I’m not doing it “the right way.” When I get sucked into the comparison/ego game, it zaps my energy and leaves me uninspired and gloomy. Lately I’m opting for the alternative: believing in myself and trusting that my unique path is what I should be striving to follow and discover– not the way that I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing something, according to someone else’s rules. Trusting myself takes the pressure off and lets me ask the question “What’s right for me?” It feels good!

Say YES to life & reframe negative thoughts

You know those times when you don’t want to do something and you make it really dramatic in your head? Here’s an example, straight from my life: “Ugh. I so don’t want to do that sink full of dishes. I can’t stand doing dishes. It’s pretty much the worst thing ever to have to do. This is going to be really miserable.” I can be this dramatic about pretty much anything. So, I’ve been focusing on saying YES to these types of things instead, and it makes it so much easier, and, imagine this, even enjoyable! When I say yes to my life and everything in it, my days go more smoothly, I have more fun, and I have a way better attitude.

Don’t take myself so seriously & have fun

This is another intention that I’m actively pursuing these days. I am a worrier and a serious person by nature, and livening things up with a bit of goofiness is a great way to get rid of stress! Some ways that I’ve been adding fun to my life lately: playing music I don’t normally listen to and dancing around the house (often holding my kitty, Anika, and wiggling in front of my husband to make him giggle!), taking days off to read books/ take naps/ be a little lazy, jumping jacks (yep– I’ve been taking mini breaks to do a quick round of jumping jacks, and it lifts my spirits instantly and makes me feel energized and spunky!) I’d really like to up the fun ante in my life even more, so this an intention that’s at the top of my list!

Be Compassionate

I am often hard on myself and expect myself to be perfect, even though I know I’m not perfect (no one is!), so I can easily make myself feel guilty. I am learning to take it easy on myself and treat myself with compassion. This, in turn, helps me want to treat others with the utmost compassion. A friend once told me “you’re learning what you’re learning when you’re learning it,” and remembering that helps me focus on treating myself kindly and realizing that I’m a human being, that we all make mistakes, and that we’re all brilliant in our own unique ways!

Being able to say no & create boundaries from a place of respect

I have a hard time saying no to people and being honest about what works and doesn’t work for me. I often have to give elaborate explanations instead of just saying a simple ‘no.’ So my intention here is to be able to stick to my boundaries out of respect for myself, and communicate those boundaries to others in a loving and compassionate way. This is hard!! But ultimately this is a great lesson for me to learn, because I always feel icky if I’m not quite honest with someone, or with myself. I always admire those folks who have really clear boundaries and are confident about them. I intend to have that in my life as well.

Dream big

This might be my most important intention lately– I think it’s so so SO important to visualize the crazy success that I would like to have in my life (I mean really picture it- the details, the colors, the smells, the feelings, everything), and then, the most important part, do not allow myself to create reasons why I can’t have it in my life. Don’t we all deserve success and abundance? I think we do! So I intend to dream big, feel giddy and excited about those dreams, trust that I am on my path, let it go, and go about doing what I need to do. And by success I’m not talking only material success– I mean success in the broadest of terms. Financially, emotionally, in my relationships, spiritually, everything. Success to me means living into the life that I dream of, right now, in this very precious moment!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! Welcome to a brand new DESIGN YOUR LIFE. This week Michelle of When I Grow Up is sharing her intentions and some amazing ways she’s designed her life around them. I’m going to let our first meeting remain a mystery (to be revealed in the weeks to come), but I’ve loved getting to know her.

When I asked her to do the DYL interview I knew she would have a lot of great advice to offer. And I was right. Her professional  life coaching concepts, ideals, and action plans which help dozens of clients are also active in her own life. Though I can’t comment on the cosmopolitan recommendation (never had one), I love her “trust yourself” revelation. Take a look.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Michelle of When I Grow Up

Claim your uniquity.

When I was 9, I wore two different sneakers (same Keds, just different colors with my own magic marker touches) & two different socks. When I was 10, I wore a hat. Yes, I was essentially copying Punky Brewster (who remains my fashion icon) & Debbie Gibson, but those girls allowed me to express my pre-teen self. As an adult, I claim my quirkiness in both my style, my personal life & my business. “Normal” is boring. Be yourself, & whoever doesn’t like it can find someone else to snooze it up/do business with.

Surround yourself with supportive, positive people (& learn to say “no!”).

I started purging my toxic frenemies when I started my coaching classes, & it’s changed my world. As a people pleaser, it was super tough for me to say “no” to anyone, even those who added nothing more than drama & snide remarks to my life. Knowing that the people that I lean on now are the ones who are only there to cheer me on – no drama, no hidden agendas, no jealousy – has lead to me pursue my dreams like nobody’s business. It’s also allowed me to know that my time will be spent with those that contribute something to my life, & that makes it easier to say “yes” – & “no”! – to those opportunities.

Celebrate!

I have my own Bribery List of how I can celebrate each win (aka bribe myself), starting with the “little stuff” (buying a bouquet of my favorite flower, taking an hour-long bubble bath with a glass of wine & a magazine) & going through to the “big stuff” (tickets to a Broadway show & a lobster dinner!). I take out the list during Me Time (see below) as well as when I’ve accomplished a goal, big or small. I make my clients celebrate their wins, too. I’m super mean like that.

Find – and pursue – your passion.

When I finally admitted to myself that I didn’t want to pursue acting anymore – & believe me, it took a year if not longer – I absolutely knew it was unacceptable to me to keep living my life with the (well-paying, insurance-giving) job that I had. Not only was my boss emotionally abusive, but it was just numbing (& boring & painful & made me dry heave in the mornings) to me. I absolutely do not get the people out there who are super unhappy with some aspect of their lives, or their lives as a whole (!) & just take it day in & day out. Can a life really be lived without passion? Whether it’s a career or a relationship, each day needs to be filled with something that makes your heart sing. If you don’t know what it is, find it. Do something different every day that peaks even a bit of your interest, whether it’s taking a new class at the gym or reading a new book or finally taking that day trip to the wine country. Figure out what you’re passionate about & how you’re going to make it part of your life.

Don’t sacrifice Me Time.

I was so used to always putting myself last. Everyone/thing else comes first – my day job, my coaching, my friends, my family, yada yada yada. The time I needed to recharge my batteries, by either journaling or doing yoga or just sitting with a fiction book (this is where the Celebration List comes in handy!), was always the first thing to go. But I realized that I needed to take care of myself first so I can take care of all of the other people I care about, & who rely on me. Like my very first coach pointed on, when you’re taken through the emergency lists on a plane, you’re told to put the air mask on yourself first and then put it on the child next to you. Why? Because you’re no good to a child if you’re passed out from lack of oxygen! I now block 90-180 minutes on my calendar each week for Me Time, & treat it like it’s the holiest of holy appointments to me: a coaching session.

You’re the only boss of you.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Seriously, you don’t. Danielle LaPorte said that you don’t have obligations – only choices. Doesn’t that blow your mind? And yes, while I absolutely consider the voices & opinions of those I love, & Luke & I call ourselves Team Awesome (we ARE an awesome team!), I am essentially the boss of me. The end.

You’re not married to anything (or anyone!).

Don’t tell my husband! OK, I’m totally married to my husband, but this is something my Mom told me right before I went to NYU. “Remember, you’re not married to anything (or anyone!). If you don’t like it, you can always go somewhere else.” I think of this to remind myself to always listen to my changing values, passions & priorities. I might have had 1 dream for 20-odd years, but then I had a new one. And I might have another one before I’m 50. I listen, now.

Don’t waste the pretty!

Yes, this was stolen from He’s Just Not that Into You, but it can apply to more than relationships. I waited until I was 28 to find my husband, because nobody that came before him was good enough for “the pretty”. I’m not gonna waste “the pretty” on a career that isn’t good enough for me, either, or a friend or client that doesn’t appreciate what I have to bring to the table. Wait for what you’re worth, & pursue what lives up to your expectation.

Trust yourself.

At almost-32 years old, this is the most current lesson that I’m learning. My years of pounding the pavement as an actress had conditioned me to not expect anything so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I hated being an optimistic pessimist (hope for the best, but expect the worst) & am now changing my perspective. I’m trusting that I can make a living coaching & can reach my dream. I’m trusting that things happen for a reason. I’m trusting that my past has lead me to this place, where I am today, & where I know that I belong.

Never underestimate a great Girls Night Out.

Or the power of a strong Cosmo. Mmmmm…..

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photo credit for image 3 and 6]

Finally, I have a new DESIGN YOUR LIFE to share! Thank you for your patience with this segment as I was travelling the past few weeks. Today I’m excited to share the intentions of my friend Jessica, of Polished Sense. We first met online via our blogs and Twitter. But we soon decided to meet up in real life since we both live and work in Chicago. The rest is history.

After graduating art school, Jessica decided that she was meant to stay in the fashion industry. She has created her own online shoe store and accompanying fashion blog called Polished Sense. Not only is her shoe selection well edited, but she takes it to the next level by blogging and showing how to actually incorporate the edgier styles into your existing wardrobe (something I find extremely practical). My personal suggestion is to browse her Raid My Closet series. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jessica of Polished Sense

Every child is an artist, the trick is, finding out how to remain one.

When I was little you could catch me coloring, having marker hands, painting or down the art aisle at the toy store.  I had paper rolls, cans filled with crayons, easels and matured into a drawing desk at my home.  I was always making something.  I asked my father when I was little, “Dad, how much to artists make?”  His response was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear they make a lot of money.  From that point on, I thought art was just going to be a hobby for me, not a career.  I stopped doing what I loved for a long time to try to pursue other careers that could earn a living.  Along the way I found nothing that came close to art and how it made me feel. When I graduated high school at 18, my art teachers told me to go to art school.  I kept telling myself no, because I had to do something else with my life if I wanted to make an honest living someday.

So off I went onto my big ten college lifestyle. After graduating college, I made a very big decision. This decision was to go on to art school and find my passion again, which I did and am ever so grateful for that experience. After graduating design school I realized it was time for me to do what I love and to make a career out of it. Here I am today running my own company, Polished Sense.

Live Artfully

Everything I see in front of me turns into art.  I love to design and I love to be different.  One of my favorite quotes is, “To be human is to be creative. You don’t have to go outside yourself to find creativity – you already have it.  It lives in your heart and mind every moment of every day” by Joseph Chilton Pearce. I don’t even think about it anymore, I just do it.  No fear, no questions, it just has to happen.  When I design, I see the color wheel, one of my favorite things as a child. It’s my true inspiration, which is why I call myself the Fashion Artist.

Dress Up & Go All-Out

One of my favorite things to do is dress up.  I love putting outfits together and accessorizing them. I love to perfect the look and make it “pop”.  My theory for styling is to always make a statement.  I love to create looks that stand out.  I feel that when you go out, why not go all-out? My inspiration is texture, color and fine detail.  Where do you find your inspiration to dress up?

Express Your Love

My loved ones know that I love them.  Even if the love is obvious, the ones that are most important still need to hear it.  I love to share what’s mine with great company.  One of my favorite things to do is to create for others.  There are many ways I express this such as; cooking for a crowd, putting together a flower arrangement to say thanks or designing a hair piece for my best friend’s wedding, it’s endless. I even make soup mixes in a jar and all they have to do is add the water, it’s great for all my friends who do not cook.  I am always finding ways to do what I love and to share it with people that surround me. I look forward to going places, doing exciting things and experiencing these adventures with the ones I love.

Do What You Are

We all have that special “X factor”. It took me awhile to figure it out, but now I can accept who I am and where I came from. It is what gave me my strength to go on to live my lifestyle. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong” – Joseph Chilton Pearce. (Another favorite of mine.) Now I have my own life and my own goals.  My very first goal on my list, is to never give up.  Once you figure out what it is that you love, you should do it.  Most of the time it’s right under your nose. I know that I’m creative and that’s what I plan to do from here on out, and I’ll figure it out along the way.  I hope all of you to do the same for yourself.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant is Rebecca of Loving Living Small. Some of you might also know her as the co-founder of Blog Out Loud, a great blogger resource. A few weeks ago, Rebecca asked me to do an interview for Blog Out Loud and I was delighted to be a part of the BOL conversation. What Rebecca didn’t know was that I had been following her own personal blog and Blog Out Loud before she even found me!

Oh, and did I forget to mention that Rebecca also writes for Apartment Thereapy?

So of course with these inspiring roles, I was pumped to have her intentions shared in the DYL series. I loved her intention to eat dessert (it’s right up there with Brooke’s intention to drink wine, if you ask me). Why not order something sweet to share with friends?

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rebecca of Loving Living Small

Love yourself all the time.

This was a life-changing year for me and I really learned the importance of self-love. I had found that I was often saying to friends or thinking to myself not so positive things like “I could lose a few lbs.” or “I don’t look great today, oh well” While being self-deprecating lightens things up, it can actually start chipping away at your self esteem without you even realizing it. Now, instead of thinking negative thoughts,  I embrace the positive side of things and feel better and my relationships are stronger.

Photograph your life all the time.

Take pictures – all the time. No, this is not an act of vanity but rather an act of documentation. My friends and family know that when I am around, they can be sure that I will be snapping a ton of photos of them, where we are, what we are doing, etc.  I was so inspired by New York when I lived there a few years ago that I started carrying my camera with my all the time and snapping photos of anything and everything that was interesting to me. 10,000+ photos later, I can look back and see my life over the last 9 years through these photos. It’s incredible! And it’s never too late to start documenting your life so go for it!

Just do it. Really. Go for it!

I have always lived my life with this intention – to go for it – no matter what! I learned from my incredibly supportive parents at an early age that if you believe in something,  approach it, try it and see where it can take you. You never know and you’ll most likely have a great story and memory out of it. Now is the time to do anything you want – embrace it.

Listen.

Yes! This is a great intention and I am enjoying living this one. Listening more, really listening, has been an incredible intention to live by. It’s important to hear what people are saying and to let them know I am present and here with them.  I have to really work on this one because when I am excited about something, I tend to ramble on and on and sometimes miss what a loved one is saying to me.  Definitely a work-in-progress but a good one!

Say hello.

Whenever I am on a walk, grabbing a coffee, enjoying a dinner out or running errands, I say hello and smile to the person on the other side – the walker, barista, waiter, etc. I feel good and so does the other person.

Live now.

Life is happening right now so enjoy it!!  I definitely had to teach myself how to do this. I was definitely a future girl, often thinking, “In 3 months, I want to do this.” Or “I wonder what will happen next year…”.  The reality is that while I was wondering about the future, I wasn’t truly living my present. To be honest, I am not sure how I changed this, I guess being really conscious of it and waking up every day thinking what does today hold has enabled me to live each day in that day.

Eat dessert.

I love treating my self to dessert every now and then and why not? I could spend the next moments complaining about how “I really shouldn’t because it’s fattening” or I can share a piece of yummy carrot cake with my dining partners and not just enjoy the cake but enjoy sharing. And who could turn down this homemade cake that my boyfriend made for a few birthdays ago? He tried to make the standard double round cake my mom made for everyone in my family (you got to choose the frosting and cake flavors!) but had a little trouble. It still tasted great!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! Today I am excited to bring you the intentions of Brooke from The New Dorothy. I love what she’s said below almost as much as her Niner Project (her plan is to complete 99 goals in 999 days). This Kansas lady is also serious about travel. I can only imagine what her passport looks like after living in four different countries. Four countries. Unbelievable.

And I also knew we’d be fast friends when I read her intention to drink wine. Why had I never thought about this intention before?! So read on, drink up, and enjoy.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Brooke of The New Dorothy

Dream it. Share it. Do it.

Most people have a lot of dreams and wishes and “someday I’m gonna…” ideas, but few have the gumption to tell anyone about it and actually follow through. I have a lot of dreams, always have. But I often need a catalyst to get me out of the dreamer stage into the action stage. So, I talk about it. I tell everyone I know and everyone I meet that I am moving to China, starting a band, opening a coffee shop, whatever. For me, the dream is just a passing whim until I share it. Don’t hold your dreams inside; put them out there and you’ll be motivated to follow through. Next up on my “dream big” to do list:  Move to Australia!

Drink Wine

Okay…you don’t have to drink wine. But for me, after a long day at the office, followed by a frenzy to find something to cook for dinner, followed by my attempts to work on other things that interest me (writing, painting, reading, etc.), it feels AMAZING to stop and sit down with a nice glass of red (or cup of cocoa, or glass of water, or whatever) and breathe. It gives me a chance to catch up with my sweetie, enjoy the fact that I’m living/thriving, and allow myself a moment of peace.

Find Your Yoga

I sit at a desk, at a computer, all day every day and I need something to get me active and get my blood flowing. I started doing yoga about a year ago and it transformed my body and the way I thought about fitness and physical activity. On any given day I’m bending, lunging, leaning, and breathing for the sake of my health and fitness, and let’s face it, for my sanity too. Yoga may not be for everyone, but everyone should find something that’s physically challenging and completely different from their normal daily routine. I also run and enjoy training for races – 5ks, triathlons, cycling events, etc. Just find something that makes you feel happier, stronger, and better, and do it often.

Wear Fabulous Shoes

For me, I love a striking pair of heels or cute slippers. The shoes or clothes I put on often influence my mood, attitude, and how I feel about myself. There’s a time to feel powerful and feel like you could rule the world (i.e. my killer red heels), and there’s a time to feel snuggly and self-reflective (i.e. my Northeastern University hoodie). There’s a place for it all in my book. The key is to get to know yourself well enough to recognize when you need the heels and when you need the hoodie.

Play Nice

Life is just too short and I’m way too mortal to get caught up in the petty, mean spirited, or disgruntled attitudes that plague some people. My motto is “do no harm.” There’s no place/space for bitterness, spitefulness, or any other negative-ness in my life. But this doesn’t mean that I’m also the peppy pom pom, never do wrong type.  My point is that you can tease, be funny, get upset, whatever, but you should always play nice. After talking to me, I want people to walk away feeling positive, and maybe a little inspired. I don’t always succeed, but I always try.

Read Everything

I have a day job and it’s pretty good. But, if I could, I would sit in coffee shops, libraries, art galleries, or at my kitchen table for most of the day reading. I read everything from design blogs, to political cartoons, to Newsweek, to Monocle, to the NYTimes (news & style sections), to USWeekly. You never know where you’ll find little nuggets of interesting chatter or be exposed to a new perspective on a hot-button issue. In my mind, it’s just silly to stay sequestered in your own little microcosm, never really knowing, asking, or understanding anything about the world outside yourself. The era of selfishness is over. And it’s time we all took a greater interest in our community.

Keep Interesting Company

I’ve been lucky enough to travel and live all over the world. And each time I have a new adventure, either down the road or across the globe, I find myself meeting/befriending some weird characters (which of course, is a compliment). These people come from numerous professions, live in random locations, but they all have something beautifully unique to share with others. Growing up in a small town in rural Kansas, I was hard pressed to find people whose opinions or life experiences were very different from my own. But once I started asking questions, listening, and getting to know the various characters that came into my life, the more I learned about the world, but mostly, the more I learned about myself.

Go Explorin’

Get out there! See something different! If you’re on a farm, head to London. If you’re in Shanghai, kick back on a secluded beach in Belize. Whatever you do, just go. I’ll never forget my first trip abroad (it was my first trip anywhere, really). I was in high school and it was my first night in Paris with my teacher and a few other students. We had just exited the subway (my first experience with that too) and were walking along the enchanted streets of Paris. It seemed like we had been traveling for weeks to finally get to this pivotal moment when I would see the Eiffel Tower for the first time. I was impatient and tired. Finally, I said, rather rudely, “Where is it?!” My teacher just grinned at me and said calmly, “Brooke, look up.” I stopped in my tracks and gazed up through the branches and leaves and saw the Tower for the first time, peeking out behind the trees above me, sparkling and grand. Amazing. It was there that I became addicted to travel. If you do nothing else, give yourself the gift of exploration and the wonder that comes from seeing something new for the first time.

Have Fun

I laugh. A lot. I can’t help it. You should too. It’s what makes life…worth it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! I hope you have had a good week so far. I’m happy to turn today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview over to Sarah of Haute Design. I found out about Sarah from Crystal of Plush Palate (check out her DYL interview). With such a warm recommendation, I knew I wanted to hear Sarah’s intentions. And after reading Sarah’s blog, I now know where I can find inspiration for future Jess LC collections.

Sarah’s intentions are every bit as great as her design aesthetic. My personal favorite was… wait. I couldn’t pick just one. The last three are all my favorites. I need to remember each one more in my own life. They are all about being present, while I find my own inclination is to lean into the future. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Sarah of Haute Design

Make a mental note of special moments.

I have experienced certain moments that I knew would forever change my life, even if only in a small way.  Perhaps it was where I was, or something I saw or heard. By making a mental note, one can remember specific characteristics of that special instance – such as a particular smell, taste, or sound, which is meaningful and special. I can honestly say that I cried when I stood under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, looking up at the incredible, glistening structure, which looked as if it had been encrusted with diamonds. The vastness and beauty took my breath away, and I will never, ever forget that moment.

Listen to those around you.

Listen more than you speak. This is something that has taken me a long time to learn, but I now know how important it is. I love to talk and listen to those who have many more years of experience than I. I find their stories fascinating. It reminds me of the movie, “The Holiday”, when Iris (Kate Winslet) helps sweet, elderly Arthur find his way back home. While taking the time to get to know him, she learned a lot from him, and a new friendship developed that she never expected.

Never loose your enthusiasm.

I love life! Each day is just waiting to bring new surprises, delights and challenges. I try to find delight in simple, everyday experiences, like seeing a beautiful design, an idea, taking a lovely walk, or tasting something delicious. Finding beauty in life brings me joy. I have also learned that positivity can be pretty contagious – as is laughter! Laughter is one of the best medicines there is, I believe.

Be still.

Often, I have to be perfectly quiet and still to hear my own thoughts and those that God wants me to hear.  In fact, I find that sometimes my greatest ideas come out of silence. I am a person who typically hates to be alone, and even while working I will turn a movie or music on. I have to remember to allow myself some time to sit, walk, or take a drive alone. When I do, the payoff is huge. Like having the chance to be able to appreciate the beauty of nature – listening to a mother and her infant birds outside or the waves at the beach…

Appreciate where you are in life.

It’s wonderful to have goals, but I think it’s important to also enjoy the now – what you are learning and experiencing now. If you don’t, how can you reach to your goals? More importantly, I find that sometimes there are lessons that I have had to go through in order to learn certain things.  I wasn’t aware of them at the time, but when I look back, there were a few ah-ha moments that now make perfect sense. Even if they were tough, I don’t regret them, because they have helped to mould me into the person I am today, and have made me wiser.

Practice having grace in all situations.

There have been many situations in my life that have allowed me to practice having grace. When in doubt, pick up “What Would Audrey Do” – an excellent book that outlines Hepburn’s lifestyle and how she practiced grace, even under duress. If you have followed my blog for a while now, you will have seen my post on etiquette and lack thereof, particularly in regards to lineups. I could not understand this, as from a young age, I have always been taught to be courteous and respectful of others. No one is perfect all the time, but I strive to have Audrey’s grace.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photos taken by David Arias]

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is featuring the newest sponsor of MakeunderMyLife. Rachel is a co-founder of the adorable site, Lovely Clusters, and has a blog called Design Lovely. I’ll be talking more about Lovely Clusters later today, so stay tuned. But for now I’d like to share Rachel’s intentions.

After reading her interview, it struck me how universal most intentions shared in the DYL series have been. I think on some level, intentions and values themselves are all-encompassing. And the way that each of us “designs our life” to fulfill these intentions demonstrate our individuality and personal perspective. I find something really beautiful about this revelation. We are at once one-in-the-same and one-of-a-kind.

So please read on to get inspired by Rachel. I am finding her ‘Take Time to Relax’ intention is getting more important for myself as well since I moved the studio into my apartment.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Rachel of Lovely Clusters

Be Happy Where You Are

I think that being happy in the place that you live is really important. Every time I leave Maui I am always ready to go back within a week. I am grateful everyday that I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I feel truly blessed and I know that I would not be myself anywhere else. Happiness comes first.

Never Loose Your Drive to Create

I have always been one to create. I could not survive without it. I live and breathe to make and design things. I love seeing my ideas come to life and to see them being used. It is a passion of mine that I hope to never get rid of.

Take Time to Relax

I am a hard worker and when you work for yourself it’s hard to know when to stop and take a break because it sometimes doesn’t feel like work. I have to remind myself to get outside and enjoy the beach, or go camping or hiking. It can be hard to drag myself at times but I always feel better when I do. I feel refreshed and clear headed.

Find Beauty in Everyday Things

Stop and look around you. There is beauty everywhere. It might sound a bit cliché but it is so true. I don’t know how many times I wish I had a camera to take some of the things I have seen. I think just enjoying it and noticing is enough though. I think because I do stop to look at things it helps me become a better designer and observer.

Keep on Learning

Even though I am not in school anymore I am always looking for new things to learn. If I don’t know what something is I usually will look it up or ask my really smart husband who is like a walking encyclopedia at times.

Share Ideas and Express How You Feel

As I get older I find myself becoming more set in my ways and I need to remind myself to consider other peoples viewpoints because it may open new ideas. When you share your ideas with others they will most likely share ideas with you.

Travel – See The World!

This is something that I definitely need to do more of. Going to Ireland was a great experience for me. I found out that I don’t mind being out of my comfort zone and it was actually quite exciting. Seeing and being in a different culture really opened my eyes and taught me a lot about myself. I had experiences that I will remember forever.

[Photos Courtesy of Rachel from Half Caf, scarletd, Stella Nicolaisen]

I’m sure most of you, like me, are familiar with Cassandra’s design inspired blog, Coco + Kelley. She was one of my first reads when getting into the world of blogs. She’s also remained a favorite. Her posts and the photos she finds are always inspiring and have a distinct point of view, a similar flavor. Which I think says a lot about Cassandra’s editorial skills. So of course I wanted to peek inside her mind and find out what drives her ambition and intention.

I found her intentions in today’s DYL  summarize a lot of what I’ve been thinking in my own life lately. In fact, I bet many others have been thinking the same things as well. Her intentions strike a decidedly eternal and universal chord, laced in glamorous photos. Her intention to Absorb is going to be on my mind the rest of the week.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Cassandra of Coco + Kelley

DO

This intention combines a few important pieces of my life – the need to be creative and original, and the challenge to make the world a more beautiful place for everyone. The cycle of ‘creating’ is really a cycle of inspiration – from one we get the other, which is why I’m so thankful for other creative people in my life!

SIMPLIFY

Life is overwhelming, and simplifying things supports the “DO” part of life. Can’t see the forest for the trees? Been there. Take a step back. Declutter. Prioritize. Be quiet. Turn off. Stop talking and start listening. If we can’t see the bigger picture, how do we know where we’re going?

LAUGH

Oh how small the Internet really is. Kind of like Chicago, it’s a big city with a lot of tiny neighborhoods. Recently I ‘bumped’ into an old Internet friend who long, long ago designed the logo for Jess LC. She is none other than Stefanie of the blog, Brooklyn Limestone, and design company, Sonic Stef Designs. It turns out that she has a gorgeous home which she has renovated from scratch and blogged about throughout the process. Like her design work, her taste in home decor is flawless. If you haven’t seen her work, it’s definitely worth checking out and adding to your Reader.

In reconnecting with her, I asked her to contribute to the DYL series. She obliged, and below are her intentions. I love the last one, so true yet hard to remember at times. Thanks, Stef!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Stefanie of Brooklyn Limestone and Sonic Stef

Get Tivo

Were you expecting some sort of deep platitude here?  Forget it.  Tivo will literally give me time for other things without sacrificing trash television.  Its the gift that keeps on giving!

Get in front of the camera

I struggle with this one.  Who doesn’t hate to see a terrible photo of themselves?  I rarely take a photo that doesn’t make me consider wearing a bag over my head from that moment on. I try to remember that when I’m old and rickety, I will look back on those photos and marvel at how young and beautiful I was back then.  Might as well have a few more to look back on.

Get Happy on your Birthday

My birthday is a sacred holiday in my house.  Sure, it’s a bit selfish to expect my friends and family to go out of their way but guess what? Too bad for them, it’s my birthday!!! I do something special on this day every single year and encourage you to do the same.  If it’s the number that is bothering you – just remember: you will be just as old the day after your birthday! Enjoy it.

Get a cat

I often think to myself ‘there is a wild beast in my house!’. Hours of entertainment, people.

Get Real

There is a lot of pressure to be living the perfect life – the fulfilling job, the stylish wardrobe, the ideal family, the perfect home, the plush bank account, etc.  Being happy doesn’t mean having everything I ever dreamed.  Honestly, I don’t think it’s even possible.  If I can get a couple of those things, I think I’ve done pretty well and I won’t worry about the rest. I tend to think life has a way of working out okay even if  I didn’t imagine it quite the way it happens.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Oh boy. I’ve been excited about this DESIGN YOUR LIFE for a while now. Erwin (my boyfriend) generally stays behind the scenes of MakeunderMyLife, but he’s agreed to be interviewed for DYL following a reader request (thanks, Danny!).

Though some of you may not know much about Erwin, I can tell you that we definitely complement each others personalities. He’s a calm, steady force. His gentle nature and laid back personality make him extremely likable. I think it will be pretty clear after reading his intentions that he’s someone you’d want to be friends with.

I also think you’ll see why I consider myself a pretty lucky girl.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Erwin

Let life go

In many cases I let the small problems go away in my life. Why waste negative energy when I can instill much more positive vibes in myself and in others? My stress levels tend to stay down this way and I find that I am calmer in the more challenging moments in my life.

Get out the comfort zone

Every now and then it’s great to try something new and out of the ordinary. Whether it is a new activity, music, or food (Slurpee flavors in my case), it all provides fresh experiences to enjoy. Stretching my boundaries has helped me in finding out more about who I am as a person and what I would like to become in the future.

Laughter always helps

Each day I love to watch all kinds of comedy on YouTube, television, or DVD. It keeps me upbeat and laughter is a great way alleviate any problems that might be going on work or elsewhere. I forget about any other pressures and just laugh. It’s simple.

Musical Chairs

Ever since I can remember, I have had a large affinity for music. When I say “affinity” I mean to the point where I memorized basically all of Nickelodeon show television themes from the 90’s (Jess utilizes this as a party trick). Music can change my mood immediately and I find it to be soothing. I try to expose myself to as many new sounds as possible because I never know what I could be missing out on. Speaking of music….

Dancing through life

I have always found dancing to be an amazing form of self-expression. There’s a large amount of creativity that can be displayed through dancing and I find that it’s very enjoyable. Whether it’s with friends or by myself, I can dance forever.

Take time to care

I try to take time to care about other people in my life. There are times when friends, co-workers, or anyone might be in a bad mood and individuals may try to avoid contact with them because of that fact. In those times I try to reach out those people because there might be a bad situation going on in their lives that no one may know about. That’s the case where that individual needs someone the most and for me I like to make the effort to have compassion for them. I believe that it can have a larger impact than you would think.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Recently I got a very nice email from Melissa of So About What I Said. Of course I promptly responded and checked out her site. I immediately found myself in awe, inspired, and excited to invite her for this week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE.

As you will read, Melissa has overcome incredible adversity with grace and a great sense of humor. Reading her intentions you can tell, she’s done some incredible designing in her life. Her authenticity is palpable.

I hope you enjoy her interview. I think it’s one that’s going to stick with me for months to come.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Melissa of “So About What I Said”

Make it a great day or not – the choice is yours

My mother is a sixth-grade teacher, and a few years ago, the school principal began saying this every morning at the end of the morning announcements. I scoffed at it for years, but it really does make sense. We sometimes can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react.

Surround yourself with the people (and cats!) you love

I’ve been blessed with an incredibly supportive group of family and friends. They’ve stuck by me. I know everyone says this, but I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for my mother. She’s been an incredible rock of love, support and comfort. I’m amazed at how she does it sometimes. And, of course, our two beautiful cats, Harry (the orange tabby) and Stella, make every day an adventure for us.

Keep going in the face of adversity

Having a physical disability (Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome), I’ve faced some pretty touch times. I’ve had 27 surgeries, been hospitalized more times than I can count and could probably recall every medication I’ve ever taken. But you know what? Those moments, even the ones where I felt hopeless and frustrated and “just wanted to be like everyone else,” pushed me even harder to keep going. I was determined to live my life and wasn’t going to let my disability stop me.

Write for you

I graduated college in 2005 with a major in journalism. I’ve always loved writing and the power of creative expression (my mom claims I wrote my first beautiful piece, a poem, in third grade), and have since been a freelance writer. In addition to writing for magazines (I’ve just had a featured accepted by SELF magazine), I’ve been a weekly newspaper columnist for almost 3 years. Writing has a way of being very therapeutic for me. I’ve been able to put my story, my life, on paper and not be afraid of what people will think when they read it. There’s something incredibly freeing about that. I’ve made a vow with myself that I won’t shy away from anything in my writing, remain true to myself and above all, write with honesty.

The greatest love affair you’ll ever have is with…yourself

I’ll be the first to admit that my physical disability has impacted my love life. At first, I kept wondering what was wrong with me: Do I scare guys away? Is there some inherent flaw within me? But then it dawned on me: I wasn’t comfortable with myself, in my own skin. The moment I stopped being so self-conscious of my body and started really loving myself for who I was, suddenly, I wasn’t so eager to find The One. And I also realized that any guy who can’t handle my disability isn’t even worth my time in the end.

Be happy

Two simple words, but they’ve been the hardest for me to integrate fully into my life. After my father’s suicide in 2003, I became very angry. Angry with my dad. Angry with my life. Angry with the world. I just couldn’t even envision a time when I could ever be happy again; I closed my eyes, and all I saw were the happy times my father and I shared together, like the hours he’d sit at the kitchen table with me as I struggled through high school chemistry or the long walks we’d take together just talking. Those times were gone, I thought. Forever. I would never, ever be happy again. And now, more than six years later, I’m finally starting to feel some of that happiness again. I’ve had to let some of that anger go, but it was necessary to make room for my happiness. Because even though my father is gone, I’m not. And I want to live a life filled with laughter and smiles. I know deep down that he would want that for me too.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Whoa. I heart this week’s DYL interview for sure. Any intention that involves something from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People makes my day (I know, one day I’ll stop talking about it). I’m also implementing her intention to ask “what would you do if you weren’t afraid” as I’m finalizing the new Wellington collection this afternoon. Yesterday I found myself second guessing the Madison collection a bit more than usual.

Not only does Crystal get points in my book for digging Covey’s work, but she also has an awesome design blog called Plush Palate. Though Crystal and I are simply blog buddies right now, we will be meeting in person at Chiblogo this August.

Enjoy Crystal’s intentions!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Crystal of Plush Palate

Live a Courageous Life

With each decision I make or at each crossroad I arrive, I try to make sure my decisions are not dictated by fear but instead, driven by courage. Only then do I feel I am living the best and fullest version of my life. When the decision seems unclear, I ask myself, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” and then in my heart I know exactly what I need to do. Another favorite quote reminds me that, “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Know Who You Are

It is easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others or trying to be someone you are not, but I find such freedom in reminding myself not to be anyone but me. I try to use and hone the talents that I already have, not to covet the ones I don’t. The way I stay connected to who I am is by making time for the things that truly feed the authentic me – like writing in my journal at night and spending a quiet hour by myself in the morning – and by being able to say no to the things that don’t feel right inside. This quote says it best, “the wise man is always similar to himself.”

Take Pride in What You Present to the World

I strongly believe that this is one of the greatest ways to show respect to yourself and to others. By taking time to dress nicely or by making sure the project I turn in is a reflection of my best work, I am telling myself and others that we deserve the best. I believe this is an important component for healthy self-esteem and a strive to embody it.

Find Balance in Mind, Body, and Soul

When things get busy and I start to feel off kilter, I check in with myself to make sure I am giving ample attention to each. This helps me prioritize my time and get my perspective back where it needs to be. For “mind” I do things like take language classes so I can exercise new areas of my brain. For “body” I make sure to find time to exercise as a way to relieve stress and stay strong. And for “soul” I stay mindful of my values and try to live a life that is consistent and in accordance with them.

Focus On Your Circle of Influence

This is a concept I picked up from reading, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and that really struck a chord with me. There are many things in life we wish were different, but by focusing on the things that we can actually change within our circle of influence, our circle miraculously begins to grow and, in turn, so does the scope of our influence. When I’m faced with a challenge that seems overwhelming, I remember that through action I can go from a place of feeling powerless to a place of great empowerment and impact.

Travel!

Traveling truly is something that I cannot image a life without. I cherish being able to get out into the world and opening myself up to what other places and people can teach me. Some of my best and most pivotal growing has happened during my times abroad. One thing I’m sure of is that a person or a place is never the same after having passed through it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photo credits: Miss Muse, and Simply Seductive (2)]

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE features my good friend, Allison. Some of you may know Allison through Jess LC events – she’s usually at our booth (rain or shine) outselling myself. Her enthusiasm and people skills make her a wonderful friend and business person. I asked her to do this week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE because she is a purposeful person who always offers great advice. On our long Sunday walks (or Mayan Palace margaritas), she also shares insightful life lessons.

After reading her intentions, I have to say, none of them are surprising to me. Which means she’s done a great job walking her talk. Her first one, “You Get Out What You Put In” is one of my favorite intentions from all the DYL interviews. It’s one of those ideas with universal truth. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: allison n.

Y.G.O.W.Y.P.I- You Get Out What You Put In

I learned this acronym back in college and for some reason it always stuck with me.   I really believe this is so true for so many aspects of life.  You get out of your body what you put into it, you get out of relationships and friendships what you put into them and you get out of each day what you put into them.  This leads into my next intention…

Do your best

My dad always says this.  It is something that stuck with me ever since I was leaving my house one morning in high school stressed about a big test. My dad said, you were up late studying weren’t you?  I said, yes and he said than just do your best.  I realized no one is perfect so if you try to always do your best…you will be doing your personal perfect.

Get out and travel

I love traveling.  I really get the itch sometimes.  I love it because it allows me to develop a new point of reference .  It allows me to be out of my comfort zone, try to get in a comfort zone and then head back to my known comfort zone (home).  Every step of the way is different and you never know what stories you are doing to have to pack up in your suit case and bring home.  I also love the feeling of falling into my pillows and comfy bed that I call my sanctuary and home at the end of a great adventure.

Know unconditional love

Um, yeah- so who is perfect anyway?  Loving and enjoying people for who they are is something I work to do every day.  Sometimes it is harder than others but at the end of the day I care about those I love and I want to do so unconditionally.  This seems like climbing a never ending summit; but something that is rewarding every step of the way.

Make new friends but keep the old

I learned this motto in girl scouts back in kindergarten (can you tell I am sentimental?!)  “Make new friends but keep the old.  Some are silver the others gold.”  I love friends.  They help us become who we are in so many ways.  They allow us to be who we are.  I love meeting new people because I feel they always teach me something about myself.   I love the story behind friendship; each one has a special history.

Live close to nature

I respect nature because I feel it is bigger, older and much wiser than I or any human will ever be.  To live close to nature I try to eat at least three servings of something that grew from the earth.  I also try to get outside and breath the fresh air with a walk on the lake front or sit in direct sunlight to soak up some of that good stuff that is shining down.

Take a picture, it lasts longer

I have realized that I remember things more if I take a picture.  All of my strongest childhood memories are related to pictures that were taken.  I can vividly remember the picture of me playing in my plastic, turtle pool with the slide in my purple swimsuit with the white hearts in my old house’s front yard.  I had on pink heart shaped sunglasses and a summer smile…those were the days!  I love taking pictures, keeping journals and keeping mementos.  I told you…I am sentimental…I don’t know why but I am!  So- I figure with the digital age…if I take a picture it will last longer and take up a lot less space than if I tried to keep that turtle pool and purple swimsuit as a memory.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today is Thursday, which means another killer DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview with an amazing person.This week’s person of interest? None other than Bryn of Bryn Alexandra. Though she graduated with a ‘practical’ education, she has at the age of 25, decided to go after her real dream: interior design.

After reading her intentions, I was struck by her authenticity. Her intentions are as personal as they are universal. I think many of you will find a bit of yourself in her story. As a fellow curly haired 20-something who grew up on HGTV and the desire for a lot of ’stuff’, I can certainly see my own reflection in her words.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: bryn of bryn alexandra

This Design Your Life series couldn’t have come at a better time. My husband jokes that I’m having a “quarter life crisis” and truthfully, I am. But I think it’s just a part of life – I’m discovering who I am and what I want to do with my life. Which is why I was so happy when Jessica asked me to do this. So here they are, my life intentions!

Do What You Love.

This is the most important intention in my life. I’ve always loved interior design, ever since I was a child. But in college, I decided it’d be best for me to pick a career path that would most likely get me a job post graduation. What 20 year old is that sensible? Fast forward and I found myself at 25 hating my career  and miserable. I decided on my 25th birthday to just put myself out there for interior design. So I did. I put myself out there on my blog, on Craigslist, and surprisingly I nabbed a few brave soles who have trusted me to work my magic on their homes. And to my surprise, they like what I can do! I won’t lie, it’s a struggle everyday juggling two jobs, and with each glimpse I get into the life of an interior designer the more I realize my day job isn’t for me. But that just pushes me harder to work at what I do love.

Build Relationships.

Confession time – I’m a major introvert. I’m one of those people who gets uncomfortable in social situations. My entire life I’ve only ever needed/had one best friend. Today, my husband is my best friend. He’s my support, the person I laugh with, the person I complain to, and that’s all I need. But as I get older I realize that relationships are an important part of life, no matter how big or small. So that’s my second intention – I want to build relationships and work at them. It’s harder for an introvert, but it’s no excuse to miss out on those specials bonds.

Live Simply.

Okay, another confession – I used to be so obsessed with material things! Ugh, embarrassing. Woman love their designer handbags, sunglasses, etc where I come from (Dallas). I got caught up in it and in college I worked an almost full time job to pay for nice things. I even got into some debt. I’m not proud of it. But then I grew out of it. I learned the value of money, and what’s important in life. I’m glad I went through that stage because I learned my lesson and I’ll never do it again. I learned a $800 purse is no better than a $50 purse. Now I live simply. I purge things when I don’t need them. I rarely shop and if I do it’s at thrift stores. I now value the simple things like a good cup of chai latte or a great home cooked meal in with the husband.

Be Myself & Be Confident.

I do often fall victim to jealousy, and I hate it! Jealousy is such a terrible, pointless emotion. Even though I find myself jealous of someone else’s possessions, or hair or whatever it is, I always try to counter those feelings with appreciation of myself. As I’ve grown older I’ve learned more to love who I am. So what if my curly hair always looks a bit crazy? Can you imagine how boring life would be if everyone was the same? I always have to tell myself – be yourself. Live creatively. Love yourself. Embrace the differences that are you! If you are happy and confident with yourself, jealousy suddenly doesn’t become an issue.

Try New Things.

I’ll end my intentions with the least serious one of the group – it’s always great to try new things! I love trying new foods, new hobbies, new experiences. I used to hate mushrooms but now I love them! Sometimes my husband and I will put on movies in different languages just to check out something new. We moved across country from Oklahoma to Los Angeles, CA. That was an experience! Spice up your life once and a while with new and different things, even if it’s something as little as choosing a different dish at your favorite restaurant.

Another big thank you to Jessica!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday and a big “hello” to Katie’s readers just discovering MakeunderMyLife for the first time!

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE (DYL) is about Katie of Color Me Katie, writer of one of the happiest blogs I have ever followed. Katie is a wonderful photographer and street artist (I suppose that is a good word for her random acts of kindness). This interview actually came about from a (first ever) reader request. Claire, a friend and MakeunderMyLife reader, told me about Katie’s blog and asked me to connect with her about DYL so she could learn more about Katie’s intentions.

Katie was extremely kind and agreed to sharing her intentions and some of her awesome photos. As I suspected, I was inspired myself to shake things up in my own routine after reading her thoughts. This morning I will not be eating cheesy oatmeal. It sounds like a small step, but I happen to have a serious addiction.

Read on!

Be creative

It’s important for me to express myself creatively every day. I have all of these fun ideas in my head and if I don’t get them out I’m pretty sure my mind would explode. Realistically, I’d probably just get frustrated and fall asleep. But explosion or no explosion, doing something creative acts as a therapy for me. I feel better after taking photographs, making street art, painting, or making wall sized collages. The messier and more sweatier I get, the better I feel.

Don’t grow up

Well, not completely anyways. I think it’s important to keep that little kid inside of you. I see a lot of people turn into grumpy old men that just complain about everything. I know that we’re all adults and we have important adult-like things to do but that doesn’t mean we have to let go of that playful side of ourselves. I’m still all about blowing bubbles, running around in the rain, and playing with my food and I always will be!

Break your routine

I hate the idea of getting up, eating breakfast, and going to work the same way every day. It eventually gets boring and I will not stand for boring! I want to wake up to a day that is always new, so I make sure I change it up a bit. First of all, who made this rule that for breakfast we should eat cereal. If I wake up and want spaghetti, I’ll make spaghetti. Whenever I leave the house I go a different way each time. I walk down a new street, ride the bus, take a different train, or hop on a forklift if I can find one! Even if it’ll take me longer to get there, I don’t care. I just always want to see something new.

Be Optimistic

It’s raining again? Wonderful! It’ll make the flowers grow. I got paint on my favorite coat? Great! I can turn it inside out, sew on new buttons, and make it better than before. There’s always a way to find something positive in a situation you would normally think was negative.

Give yourself a gift everyday

There are some days that can feel so long but it makes it a lot easier to get through if you give yourself a gift. I always like to give myself something little like a cupcake, a flower, balloons, or an iced coffee at my favorite cafe. It’s not expensive and it’s a lovely little pick me up during the day.

Be yourself

I’m not perfect, I know that. I have this thing where I trip at least once a day and somehow my dress will always find a way to fall down at the most inappropriate moments. I say the wrong things at wrong times and only have laughing attacks when I’m alone on the train, which makes me look like a crazy person. I used to be really embarrassed of myself when I was younger but now I find all these little things to be funny and they make me who I am. The next time my dress accidently falls down at a funeral it’ll fall with pride!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday, everyone! This week has been full of buzz on MakeunderMyLife; from the video post announcing the free garage sale to the rather ‘intense’ (it’s a relative term) debate about the Pride and Prejudice films. Today, we have another killer DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview with blogger and fashion maven Jessica of What I Wore.

Earlier this month, Jessica donned the Astor St. Cluster Bib Necklace and made the homepage of Jess LC (I wrote about it on the blog here). I have so much respect for Jessica and what she has been able to accomplish with her blog, and her style sense has actually inspired me to be more creative in my own closet! So of course I wanted to peek inside her mind and see what intentions created her blogging (full-time) career and unique style.

After reading her goals, it’s clear that she really does get her joy from within and stays true to herself. I’d imagine those two traits alone help her follow her passions to such a high level. And not to taking things personally is something I am definitely adding to my intentions as well.

Practice gratitude.

The more grateful you are for what you already have, the more blessings you see all over the place.  I constantly remind myself what I am grateful for, from the most basic “I have feet to stand on” to “I am a talented and wonderful person”. Its important to remember all of the really great things we have in our lives– and when you focus on those things, you receive even more blessings.

Be true to you!!

When I was in middle school, my best friend said to me “why be a second rate version of someone else when you can be a first rate version of yourself.” I’m not sure where the quote came from, but it has stuck with me since. I’m on the quirky side and often find myself sticking out from the crowd. But that’s great and something I have come to embrace. I am me!

Say it Straight.

Ask for what you want and tell people the truth. I’ve been working on balancing being honest with being blunt.  In personal and professional relationships I’ve gained so much more by being straight forward about my feelings or wishes. Its wasteful to be misleading! Just say it straight!

Walk A Mile in another person’s shoes.

Practicing empathy is a rewarding experience.  To try to understand another person’s point of view will in turn give you a bigger view of your world and the world as a whole.

and furthermore…

Don’t take things personally.

We have no idea what is going on in anyone else’s head, even if he or she describes it to us. I used to think people were out to get me. Out to cut me off on the road or steal my subway seat or parking spot. But most of the time, people are only thinking about themselves. It doesn’t have anything to do with me!! No one is out to get me. When I adapted this way of thinking my happiness soared through the roof.

Get your Joy from within.

Like Whitney Houston sang, “the greatest love of all is inside of me”. True!! Don’t expect other people to make you happy. Go be happy on your own and that light will really shine.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.