I’m now on my third intention in my DESIGN MY LIFE, To Listen to and Honor My Body. Over the past few days I’ve also talked about my intention to Work in a More Balanced Way and To Be in a Committed Relationship.

Of course it goes without saying that these are my personal intentions and are in no way supposed to be seen as “advice.” They are simply the lessons and guiding principals for my life and I encourage everyone to reflect in their own lives on what works for them!

Listen to and honor my body

Whenever I thought about intentions for my life in the past, one of the first tasks that popped up was to eat and exercise “better.” But to be honest, all of that really was really just a masked way of saying that I wanted to be skinnier or lose weight.

I know I’ve linked back to these posts many times, but I really did struggle for nine years with extreme dieting and binge eating. It was a nasty mindset that ruled my thoughts more than anything else in my life.

Thankfully, I finally found my way out of that obsession and I’ve come to a much more peaceful and natural way of eating and working out. And the miraculous outcome has been that I’ve (very slowly) floated down to almost exactly my goal weight without having to stress, measure, dwell, or struggle.

For anyone else out there who might be caught in a similar struggle, I suggest reading Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. It was the gateway that led me to an immense amount of peace and understanding.

Anyways, back to my intentions.

Now that I’ve got a new relationship with food and working out, my new guiding principal is to listen to my body and eat what it wants to eat. But once I feel full, I don’t eat anymore.

In the same light, I workout a handful of times a week with a combination of running and lifting. It’s now become more about keeping my heart and body strong. And I recognize that my anxiety melts away with a good run, so it’s also become a mental health decision as well.

So to sum it all, up: I eat what I want, when I am physically hungry, and as much as I need to feel satisfied. I work out in a similar way: I work out when I want, for as long as I want.

Today I’d like to continue sharing my intentions for my life in my more extended DESIGN MY LIFE series. Yesterday I explained how I work in a balanced way and today is about my relationship.

Be in a committed relationship.

I would love to say that my relationship with Mr. Lively has been a bed of thorn-free roses, but that’s a lie.

It’s not that surprising, since no relationship is perfect.

But still, I was a bit shocked to find out that someone who is as amazing as Mr. Lively didn’t leave me feeling completed, whole, and perfect.

From all that I had heard about “knowing,” I was downright confused as to what “knowing” really meant.

If things felt perfect, then I would “know,” right?

I pretty much expected that I’d hear some Charlton Heston voice announce to me one day “Mr. Lively is your guy.” Then the angels would pop out of the clouds and I would be whisked away to some magical place were reality, cellulite, and student loans didn’t exist.

But that never happened.

Disappointing as that fact might be, it was nothing compared to the time that someone looked me in the eye and said that he wasn’t the one for me. That I was supposed to be with someone five years older than myself. This person was someone I looked up to considerably but did not know Mr. Lively. That blanket statement shook me to my core and made me question everything.

What if this person was right? What if there was someone else out there named Mr. Older that was supposed to make me perfect and would then cause those angel clouds to part so I could live in Never Never Land?

It was a confusing time, for sure.

But through all of my fears, Mr. Lively stood by my side. Instead of feeling offended or angry or sad about what that person told me, he felt empathy for me because he knew that was a lot of pressure and expectation from someone who didn’t know us very well.

(Yeah, he might not be perfect, but sometimes he’s pretty darn close.)

Anyways, I say this all so that it hopefully helps someone out there. I’m not sure how, but I pray that this situation in my life is going to be used for good.

So now it’s time to come to the point: I had a lot of sorting out to do about the whole concept of “knowing.” And I have finally come to a spiritual a-ha moment which has brought me a tremendous amount of peace, joy, and even more love.

I have finally recognized that what I want more than anything is to be in a committed relationship that lasts a very, very long time. And in the past, I was approaching everything backwards.

Before, I used to think that I would find “Mr. Right” and that he would be so amazing that I would suddenly be a perfect girlfriend/partner that was ready for a more serious commitment. That by falling “in love” with someone was going to be so amazing that I would be ready for forever, amen, and “I do.”

But all that did was leave me feeling a bit empty inside. All of that expectation left me feeling like I binge ate icing rather than eating a satisfying piece of cake. It clouded all the things that were amazing about our relationship and left me scanning our life for holes, leaks, and cracks.

Ugh. You are lucky you weren’t in a relationship with me at the time.*

However, I’ve since made a discovery that has literally changed my life: I’ve finally fessed up to the fact that I really do want to be in a committed relationship. That comes first. I want to learn what that relationship will have to teach me about myself, what it will teach me about others, what it will teach me about love, and what it will teach me about having a family someday.

This also means that I have to be realistic in what a committed relationship means: unconditional, acceptance, joy, peace, mercy, forgiveness, and real love.

It doesn’t mean perfect and it doesn’t mean “Mr. Right.” 

Then, once I owned up to that fact and I accepted what that kind of relationship would be like (both good and bad), it was up to me to pick out who I wanted to be in a partnership like that.

And the obvious answer was Mr. Lively.

By allowing myself to put the spiritual side of the relationship before the humanity of myself and Mr. Lively, I stopped weighing myself down with a bunch of expectation and illusion. It allowed me to fully enjoy all the amazing traits and love we have to offer one another. It stops me from looking for flaws to indicate that we aren’t perfect.

It let’s me see all that is good without a veil of ugly selfish expectation.

So now, whether we are cuddling or arguing I have my priorities set.

It’s not about him “meeting my every whim and expectation” it’s about choosing to be together through whatever comes our way.

Though that might sound disheartening or sad, it’s actually been the most freeing and loving experience of my life.

* Except you, Mr. Lively! I love you.

Once upon a time on MML there used to be a beloved series called DESIGN YOUR LIFE which allowed interviewees to share their intentions for their lives along with the specific, tangible ways they “designed their life” to make the intentions become reality.

After a while it became too much for me to run alongside the rest of my commitments, so I put in on hold. But I’m excited to announce that it will be back soon.

I also think it’s time that I updated my own interview from 2009.

A lot has changed in the last three years and it’s time to share my current intentions.

Since I would like to go in depth which each of my intentions, I will share only the first intention today and the rest throughout the week.

Enjoy!

Work in a balanced way.

As I take on more and more responsibility with Jess LC, MML, and BWI, I find myself more and more ferociously defending my time off and life balance. If I don’t, I begin to resent work very quickly.

So to keep a “normal” life as much as possible, I am learning that I need to do a few things to stay sane and highly effective at the same time.

First of all, I am learning how to delegate more than ever before. In Jess LC that means I have the amazing and wonderful Susie to make our jewelry orders and a new trio of Lauren, Kiley, (and soon-to-be) Caitlin to intern and manage the online shop. This frees me up to do the high level activities like finance, product development, and social media needed to keep the company growing and maintaining the brand’s DNA.

In MML that means that I am working towards allowing our amazing intern/managers also help with a few labor intensive, but not me-specific tasks. One of which will be to resurrect the DESIGN YOUR LIFE series.

And in BWI, I am working with Clara, my totally awesome, talented, and capable event planner to help execute our travelling workshops. Handing event specific details to her allows me to stay focused on content and making sure the participants are getting the best advice and information.

In addition to delegating, I’m also learning how to ‘hustle’ more during my workdays so that I can accomplish more from 9:30a to 6:00p. I make detailed weekly and daily to-do lists which keep me moving along and accomplishing all the major tasks. I also just work harder. I’m usually wiped by the end of the workday.

And to make sure that my off hours stay “off” I am now cutting Twitter, business Facebook, and email out of my nights and weekends. I’m doing pretty good so far. Right now I’m 98% free of them all and the more that I honor those boundaries, the more I enjoy work and feel more present in my home life.

However, all of this goes without saying that there are a few days where I work until 7:30 or 8. And on our workshops I work during the weekend. But those overtime hours are rare and encourage me to honor the regular off hours all the more.

Because after all, “off hours” aren’t really “off.” They are the times that I’m honoring my personal life. 

Tomorrow I’ll share what my intention to be in a committed relationship means to me.

Here are June’s DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews! As a reminder, you are welcome to participate in this series by posting your DESIGN YOUR LIFE on your blog and sharing the link with me (jess @ jesslc.com).

Enjoy!

Caroline’s post is on Treat Yourself Well.

Emilie’s post is on One Foot On Shore.

Jessica’s post is on Jessica Hannon Photography.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

PS – On a very sad (but proud) note, our very dear Kat of Jess LC, who has faithfully illustrated and designed many of our graphics as well as manned our Facebook Page, has graduated from Northwestern University! She is now headed off to California to start an incredible life journey. I am so thankful to have had her wonderful support and help for nine months. And I still cannot thank her enough for helping us get our online USPS shipping figured out! Tonight we will celebrate her graduation with Mexican food, sangria, and sombreros. Plus, Melissa says she’s bringing a mustache. Can’t wait.

Here are May’s DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews! As a reminder, you are welcome to participate in this series by posting your DESIGN YOUR LIFE on your blog and sharing the link with me (jess @ jesslc.com). It will be posted on that month’s DIY DYL post as seen below with Megan and Jennifer.

Enjoy!

Megan’s post is on Studio M.M.E.

Jennifer’s post is on Queen’s Voice.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

Sorry for the slight delay on this month’s DIY DYL – we have been busy here in the studio keeping up with everything going on. I also have a feeling this weekend is going to be a working one in order for me to get ready for the move and upcoming photo shoot in California next week. And remember the winners of the DESIGN YOUR LOOK challenge will be announced on Monday.

But back to the April DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews. Hop on over to the blogs below to see how Lisa and Jennifer have designed their lives around their intentions.

Lisa’s post is on The Dame.

Jennifer’s follow-up post is on Jennifer, Unwritten.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

Today we have a huge dose of DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE inspiration. Hop on over to the blogs below to see how four awesome MML readers have designed their lives around their intentions. After reading them all, I feel so lucky to be among such incredible women.

Jennifer’s post is on Fort Saint Nowhere.

Raj’s post is on Pink Chai.

Carla’s post is on All of Me… Now.

And Cailen’s post is on Cailen Asher Lifestyle Maven.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

Today I have a great DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview to share. Kevin “Mr. Peace” Szawala is a motivational speaker and friend of mine from the University of Michigan. He is also one of the most engaging, positive, and inspirational people I know. I am thrilled to present his intentions for his life and to share his story of leaving his cushy 9 to 5 job for his purpose: Being Who I Want 2 Be.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Kevin “Mr. Peace” Szawala

“The greatest human tragedy is to die with the music still left in you.” – Jim Tuman

A college counselor once gave me this example about money.  Countless students walk into his office and tell him they want to make $100,000, a six figure income.  They don’t care how they do it or if they’re going to hate it, they just want him to tell them what it will take to make this amount of money.  The truth is, though (and what he ends up telling them), if you despise what you’re doing, chances are you’ll either end up getting fired (by someone who is passionate about what they do and so outperforms you), end up quitting altogether, or what so many people fall victim to: continue working only for the weekend, miserable day in day out, compromising your entire life for the ‘green stuff’ and ultimately feeling unfulfilled.

I was one of those people working solely for the paycheck and did so for close to five years.  However, I finally came to realize that while yes, we do need money and yes, it is important and what makes the world go round, if it is your only motivation (as it was mine), you will not find happiness. You may find temporary satisfaction and gratification, but that’s all it is: temporary.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Rather, ask yourself what makes you come alive.  Because what the world needs are more people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

Quitting my 9-5, stable, comfortable job with endless perks and benefits is something I will never forget nor regret.  Choosing to leave a guaranteed source of income I had at my previous employer (a global automotive supplier) this past July for another uncertain, risky, go-against-the-grain type path was not only a giant leap of faith, but one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make in my life.  I have always felt that I am someone who has always been extremely driven, just not necessarily in the direction of my calling.

When I finally left Corporate America to fully pursue my passion for motivational speaking and working with the youth, I realized why the decision was such a difficult one and had been burning in me for over a year leading up to the separation: it was because I knew now what my purpose was and could clearly see it.  Up until that point I just was not living it yet 100% of the time, and until I was completely aligned with it, I would not be truly happy or fulfilled.  Now that all of my energies and efforts are going toward things that make me come alive, all the ‘work’ I do really isn’t work, rather, ‘fun’ and something I love to do each and every day.

“The time is NOW to step into, to breathe into our greatness and become the blossoming genius inherent in us all!” – Kevin ‘Mr. Peace’ Szawala

I remember being asked this question on countless occasions by friends and family prior to my transition.  My response was, “Because I have everything to gain.”  Then, I was posed with whether the economic scare would encourage me to rethink pursuing some of my goals?  The answer to that one was, “Not at all.”  I willingly detached myself from my position because despite the present and ongoing financial woes, I was (and still am) so centered and grounded in my faith that I just trust the process and know that everything will work out.

I am a firm believer that America remains a beacon of entrepreneurialism.  Regardless of the risks that come along with the entrepreneurship challenge, it’s apparent that many are still seeking a niche to secure their own developing business.  I was one of them.  Now, it is not to say I have not had some economic challenges.  I have.  These dire straits make it a little more difficult as to how to market the impactful message I wish to share to the degree that many potential school or organization speaking bookings do not have as much money to offer speakers, or any outside companies for that matter.

On the other hand, with such a tough economic hold on everyone, basically worldwide, we as a nation, as a planet, need inspiration and hope now more than ever.  An entrepreneur needs to be positive, self-motivated, and driven to succeed despite all circumstances.  I am confident in taking the risk because I look at it more as an ‘opportunity’ and something that has been burning inside of me for years now, and unless I take a chance and go after my dreams 110%, I will not be truly free.

“At the end of our lives people will only remember our hearts.” – Jim Tuman

It was not until I became intentional about asking myself who I wanted to be for my community, rather than what I wanted to be, that I knew what it was I wanted to do with my life and where my true passions laid.  Once you can answer the ‘who’, you start looking for career paths that will both foster and nurture who it is you want to be.  Many of the issues I see with at-risk teens are merely the symptoms of bigger problems like a lack of connection among their peers and not having that sense of purpose which gives them identity and self-worth.

Further, when you begin with the end in mind and think about how you want people to remember you by, all of a sudden your actions and decisions become based on who you want to be (which is hopefully a positive person for this world).  For me, I knew speaking was my greatest joy and connecting with others through my heart, humor and musical talents is how I wanted to share my time.  I knew in the core of my being that empowering individuals and helping them step into their full potential was my true calling.

Still, I see many people who think that by going to another personal growth workshop, reading the next self-help book, exercising until they reach the ‘perfect’ body figure, buying another boat, car, a bigger house; that something external is going to bring them permanent, internal happiness and give them some meaning in their life.  They have the mentality that if I can only change the outside factors in my life: my surroundings, my appearance, the things, then I will find my purpose.  That is never the case, however, and never will be.  The transformation must be inner to outer, and not the other way around.  All of us have a purpose and it is just a matter of looking within to find out that true happiness, true peace, and a true purpose comes from knowing that we all have been given unique gifts from our creator.  What is your motivation for wearing a seat belt?  Yes, you don’t want to die, but what makes you not want to die?  There has to be a reason for living.  And the deeper your faith and spiritual connection to what your divine purpose is, the more clear your heart will be led to what you should be doing and why it is you are on this earth.  When you are where you’re supposed to be, you can just feel it with every part, with every fiber, of your being.

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” – Unknown

Whether it is solving global warming, curing a disease, or combating world hunger, the solution to so many of the world’s problems today lies within people being who they want to be.  If we have people truly into what they’re doing filling the various societal roles, then the issues we are faced with everyday would be solved more quickly. If it is only for the money or because someone told you this is what you should be doing, though, these matters would not be addressed with the same level of intensity, attention, purpose or desire, and so would take longer to get resolved.  The bottom line: Passionate people want to keep progressing and succeeding in whichever field they choose.  As long as you love it, the career you do choose will not matter.  What will matter is finding out how that thing that makes you come alive will contribute to making this world a better place through being, once again, who you want to be.  And on top of that, as the title of the New York Times bestseller reads, “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow!”  It’s true.  If you’re that passionate about what you do, you will excel that much more in that field and advance to reach a comfortable lifestyle.

Unfortunately, many people never realize this.  Some individuals do not discover who they really are their entire lives.  Sometimes to find ourselves, though, we must first lose ourselves or make some drastic change in our lives and thinking pattern.  Sometimes we need to challenge the ideas presented to us and really take an extensive look inside ourselves to see if our values and morals are in line with them.  Until you find yourself and are the person you want to be, you cannot fulfill your dreams.  Be fulfilled to fulfill.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today we have some great DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews to share! Click the links below to hop over to MML reader’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews. As a refresher, the DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews share the intentions of the writer and specific, first-person examples of how they have “designed their lives” around those intentions.

Kimberly’s post is on Third Floor Design Studio.

And Roxy’s post is on A Spot of Tea.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

The DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE edition is here! With lots of traveling over the past several Thursdays, this post is a bit overdue from December.

Hop over to Nicole and Allison’s blogs to see how they “design their lives around their intentions.”

Allison’s post is on Spare Change Living.

And Nicole’s is on Simply Nicole.

Want to find out more about the DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE monthly feature? Keep reading.

Okay, so it’s technically December now, but let’s pretend that that this went up last week on Thanksgiving as it should have. Here are the first round of DIY DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews shared by MML readers. Hop on over to these lovely DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews below.

Meanwhile, I will be spending the day at Macy’s on State St. for a Jess LC trunk show from 11-4. Come down and say hello if you can!

Lisa of Everyday Elembee.

Lucile of Atomic Girl.

Anne of Anne the Adventurer Part 1 and Part 2.

Interested in doing your own DIY DYL? Here are the deets.

Good morning! Today’s DYL features Taylor of the fashion and lifestyle blog, Sterling Style. I admit that I don’t read that many fashion blogs, but Taylor’s has definitely caught my eye and I’ve loved following along in the past few months. Her California style and interest in fitness and Crossfit add such a unique flavor to her posts that I find really refreshing. If you haven’t seen her site, I’d recommend checking it out. Her blog is well curated and I’m dying over her Creme de la Creme tote she’s now selling on Etsy. As for Taylor’s intentions, I’m pondering how I can implement my own version of her last intention in my life as well.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Taylor of Sterling Style

I have always tried to live each day aware of who I am and how I treat others. Now, that I am in the public eye I feel it is even more important. I want to be a role model for women of all ages. I want them to feel comfortable in their own skin, be kind, and strive for the best. There is so much pressure out there for women to be skinny and look perfect. I want to show others that being confident and not fearing rejection and failure is a beautiful thing.

I believe that taking care of your health should come before everything! If I feel tired, stressed or out of shape my whole life crumbles around me. I make sure to carve out time everyday to focus on me.  Whether it is going for a run, heading to yoga, reading a book, or relaxing in a hot bath, I plan something to calm my mind and make me feel good. This keeps me sharp and ready for any challenge that may come my way.

I love that my blog is an outlet for my creativity. Every day I get to create a new experience for people and hopefully inspire them. I have always enjoyed working creative projects. When I was younger I would sit for hours cutting out images from magazines and making collages or directing and starring in music videos with my girlfriends.  If I don’t challenge myself to try new things I become restless and irritated. Lately, I have been reading a lot of blogs that feature DIY craft projects. It is so fun to come up with a new idea and try to make it work.

I think one thing people are surprised by when they meet me is what a goofball I am. I hate to take myself too seriously. Life is too stressful to spend every day worried and upset. Whenever I have a bad day I force myself to smile and find something to laugh about. They say that the simple act of smiling can actually make you happier. I also like to blast rap music and dance and act a fool with my boyfriend. It cures all my sorrows.

This is something I am trying to enforce, but is so difficult for me.  I want to eat dessert and shop whenever I can! However, I am learning that saving for a special splurge can make it all the more worth it.  I remind myself that if I eat healthy all week and hit my goals I can splurge one night and have a big gooey brownie instead of little pieces of chocolate every night. I also tell myself that if I stop buying so many cheap handbags that one day I may be able to afford my dream bag!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today I have an exciting new DYL interview to share! I tapped Alaina’s shoulder of Live Creating Yourself to share her life intentions. Though she’s obviously got an incredible talent for graphic design and is even responsible for naming the now popular Rue Magazine (among many other contributions), I asked her to do this DYL for a whole different set of reasons.

Knowing her personally, I’ve always been struck by her ability to fearlessly state her opinion without second guessing herself. Not that I’m much of a slouch myself, but I really, deeply admire her ability to say what she thinks from an honest, open part of her that doesn’t worry about “what others might think.” While she asserts her thoughts on everything from spirituality to the latest Kelly Wearstler project, she does so without being overbearing or judgmental. And for this reason, I think I personally have a lot to learn from Alaina. I know that many of us, including myself, can learn to share our opinions more fearlessly. As you’ll read, it’s pretty clear how she’s able to create such a mix of strength and gentleness that is 100% her own.

Enjoy!

Be Kind

Not a ground-breaking concept, I know, but being kind to others is the most important value in my life. Sadly, it seems that many people in today’s society are completely self-absorbed, worrying only about themselves and stepping on others just to get ahead. I don’t know where this self-entitlement and “I’m better than you” concept came from, but I am very aware that I am no better than the next person. So, I try my best to be considerate of those around me. I thank the busboy who pours my water. I stand up and offer my seat to the older woman or man who gets on the bus. I write back to the new blogger who emails me for advice. These simple acts of respecting and appreciating other people are so often forgotten; but I think it’s really important to remember that a simple “How are you today?” can go a long way.

Looking for beautiful things around me is a reflex. I have a tendency to find beauty and inspiration in things most people would never notice. For example, I recently liked the way a restaurant wrote their menu in chalk so I took a photo of it. And I remember on a day trip to Annapolis, I noticed an old red roof on a house that was far from beautiful – but the way it contrasted with the bright blue sky behind it caught my eye, so again, I snapped a photo to remember it. This habit probably stems from being a graphic designer and my constant need to be inspired, but this tendency to focus on the good instead of the bad definitely helps my emotional well-being, as well. Win, win!

Whether my credit card likes it or not, I travel as often as my vacation days allow. Traveling is the best kind of education; it allows me to learn about different cultures and people, and, more importantly, it helps me grow as a person. I am the first to admit that up until college, I was a rather close-minded – and dare I say, a judgmental – person. Now I feel like anything goes! And the world is all the better for it. Having been exposed to so many different lifestyles and cultures, I’m now very open to trying new things, listening to what others have to say, and accepting people’s opinions and beliefs, regardless of how different they are from mine.

This is less a goal I’ve made for myself and more so something I was born doing. My parents would joke the only babysitter they needed for me was a box of crayons because I could entertain myself for hours drawing pictures, writing stories, and even creating my own board games (true story – it was Life Jr. and you ended up choosing a high school instead of a retirement home at the end of the game). Today, I still find myself restless when I don’t have a to-do list taking up two pages in my notebook. Instead of flipping through the channels, I tend to work on a new house project or start redesigning my blog for the 100th time this year. I can’t not create. It keeps the creative juices flowing.

I am of the “you only live once” school of thought. If I’m at an Italian restaurant, heck, I’m ordering a big plate of pesto linguini! If it’s a Tuesday and I have nothing to do, I will always consider buying a great bottle of wine, calling up my best friends, and spending the evening laughing and reminiscing with them. I recommend this advice to all of you out there: stop counting calories, stop worrying about what others think of you, and enjoy this life. You only live once!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Hi everyone! After our announcement of the 100 Kisses Giveaway winner earlier today, I’m back to share a DYL shared by Bryn of Bryn Alexandra if you’ve been following Bryn’s journey into interior design over the past year you’ve seen her grow her business by leaps and bounds. And I’m thrilled to re-share her intentions that have helped her develop such a strong company and huge blog following.

As for the new DIY-DYL (do-it yourself DESIGN YOUR LIFE) there are no submissions for October, so our next date will be November 25th. So if you’d like to share your intentions, please send me your link by November 22nd and I’ll link to your DIY-DYL on Thanksgiving Day.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: bryn of bryn alexandra

This Design Your Life series couldn’t have come at a better time. My husband jokes that I’m having a “quarter life crisis” and truthfully, I am. But I think it’s just a part of life – I’m discovering who I am and what I want to do with my life. Which is why I was so happy when Jessica asked me to do this. So here they are, my life intentions!

Do What You Love.

This is the most important intention in my life. I’ve always loved interior design, ever since I was a child. But in college, I decided it’d be best for me to pick a career path that would most likely get me a job post graduation. What 20 year old is that sensible? Fast forward and I found myself at 25 hating my career  and miserable. I decided on my 25th birthday to just put myself out there for interior design. So I did. I put myself out there on my blog, on Craigslist, and surprisingly I nabbed a few brave souls who have trusted me to work my magic on their homes. And to my surprise, they like what I can do! I won’t lie, it’s a struggle everyday juggling two jobs, and with each glimpse I get into the life of an interior designer the more I realize my day job isn’t for me. But that just pushes me harder to work at what I do love.

Build Relationships.

Confession time – I’m a major introvert. I’m one of those people who gets uncomfortable in social situations. My entire life I’ve only ever needed/had one best friend. Today, my husband is my best friend. He’s my support, the person I laugh with, the person I complain to, and that’s all I need. But as I get older I realize that relationships are an important part of life, no matter how big or small. So that’s my second intention – I want to build relationships and work at them. It’s harder for an introvert, but it’s no excuse to miss out on those specials bonds.

Live Simply.

Okay, another confession – I used to be so obsessed with material things! Ugh, embarrassing. Woman love their designer handbags, sunglasses, etc where I come from (Dallas). I got caught up in it and in college I worked an almost full time job to pay for nice things. I even got into some debt. I’m not proud of it. But then I grew out of it. I learned the value of money, and what’s important in life. I’m glad I went through that stage because I learned my lesson and I’ll never do it again. I learned a $800 purse is no better than a $50 purse. Now I live simply. I purge things when I don’t need them. I rarely shop and if I do it’s at thrift stores. I now value the simple things like a good cup of chai latte or a great home cooked meal in with the husband.

Be Myself & Be Confident.

I do often fall victim to jealousy, and I hate it! Jealousy is such a terrible, pointless emotion. Even though I find myself jealous of someone else’s possessions, or hair or whatever it is, I always try to counter those feelings with appreciation of myself. As I’ve grown older I’ve learned more to love who I am. So what if my curly hair always looks a bit crazy? Can you imagine how boring life would be if everyone was the same? I always have to tell myself – be yourself. Live creatively. Love yourself. Embrace the differences that are you! If you are happy and confident with yourself, jealousy suddenly doesn’t become an issue.

Try New Things.

I’ll end my intentions with the least serious one of the group – it’s always great to try new things! I love trying new foods, new hobbies, new experiences. I used to hate mushrooms but now I love them! Sometimes my husband and I will put on movies in different languages just to check out something new. We moved across country from Oklahoma to Los Angeles, CA. That was an experience! Spice up your life once and a while with new and different things, even if it’s something as little as choosing a different dish at your favorite restaurant.

Another big thank you to Jessica!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

I’m so pumped about today’s announcement! After the infamous DYL‘s return from a long summer vacation, it is back and more popular than ever. I get more emails about this series that almost everything else. Something new has started to spark as well in the recent months: there are more readers writing in wanting to share their own personal DYL intentions than ever. Since this is a Thursday series, I’ve only got room for four interviews a month, and at the rate MML readers raising their hands, we’d never get to everyone doing this one at a time.

I mentioned this phenomenon to a lovely friend of mine last week and she had a fantastic idea.

I’m now opening up the DESIGN YOUR LIFE series to all bloggers in a new monthly post called “DIY DYL” (short for “Do It Yourself DESIGN YOUR LIFE”). One Thursday a month (for October it is going to be next Thursday, October, 21st) I will link everyone’s DIY DYL posts here on MML (okay, now I’m using more acronyms than might be wise, but stick with me). This way we can all have a little blog block party hopping to and from everyone’s DIY DYL interviews commenting, linking, and so on.

And in case that’s not enough, Melissa, one of my awesome assistants, has made a spiffy badge (similar to the one above, only smaller) for DIY DYL participants as well linking to the full DIY DYL Guide page.

What is the DIY DYL Guide page, you ask? Well, it isn’t created… yet… but I’ll have it up later today. It’s going to have a little introduction about the series, how it works, how to participate, and a link list to all the DIY DYL posts on everyone’s blogs. This way new readers can surf the links easily and find huge doses of inspiration any day of the month.

So to recap…

How the DIY DYL will work

Write your own DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview on your blog – the format is super simple (here’s what I tell all DYL interviewees): please share 5-7 intentions for your life with specific, first-person examples of how you “design your life” around those intentions. Then add one head-shot at the top and personal photos that relate to the intentions below to add personality. You can post your DIY DYL whenever you like, no special post date is necessary.

After you’ve posted your awesome interview, send me a link and I’ll save it for the upcoming DIY DYL post date (as I mentioned, this October’s will be next Thursday [10/21]). I’ll also pass along a DIY DYL badge for you to link to the DIY DYL Guide – coming later today – or just to MML – whichever you like (the badge isn’t required, but it’s pretty and helps spread the word about your interview and the series as a whole).

Okay, ladies (and gents!) time to start your engines… er…. intentions!

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview is brought to you by the lovely Piper author of One Sydney Road and our amazing MML Dream Reporter. As Piper nears the launch of her awesome new online store(!!), I thought it would be the prefect time for her to reflect on the intentions that got her to this exciting point in her life.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Piper of One Sydney Road

Hi everyone!  Hope you’re not tired of me yet because here I am again – this time with a Design Your Life post.  I think it’s fair to say that this has been a life-changing year for me.  I can’t say that my life is figured out yet but I think that’s part of the fun (and the challenge!)   Here’s what I’ve learned (and what I’m still learning!)

Make time for loved ones

I’ve gushed before about my hubby, which isn’t going to stop me from saying it again!  He’s the jelly to my peanut butter, the han solo to my princess leia.  No matter what’s going on in our lives, we make it a point to spend time together.  He’s my main inspiration – without him making me laugh everyday and just being by my side, nothing would feel inspiring!  I’ve said to him that even if we had to live in a cardboard box, as long as we were together, it wouldn’t matter to me.  I’m just hoping we can locate our box on a beach somewhere!

Live in the moment

This one is a work in progress for me.  Since I tend to constantly think 5 years in the future, sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on the here and now.  It’s the dreamer in me – I think it’s both a blessing and a curse!  It’s a reminder to stop and smell the roses – or at least just notice that they’re there.

Laugh often

One of my favorite stories about my hubby and me actually comes from his grandma.  This was during the time that she was living with his mom and we were over quite frequently.  Apparently one day she turned to her daughter (my mother-in-law) and asked, quite seriously “what are they always laughing about?”  Pretty much anything and everything (the more sarcastic the better)!  Laughter really is the best medicine – for best results make sure to laugh daily and surround yourself with people who make you laugh!   Extra points if you laugh loudly.

Age is just a number

I’ve always felt that if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything. Doesn’t matter what your age is!  And while we’re at it – can we put a stop to those articles that say “what to wear when you’re 20/30/40″ – if you like it, who cares how old you are?!  Rock that miniskirt!

Embrace imperfections

Ok, honestly I’m still figuring out how to do this one!  But doesn’t that sound good – embracing our imperfections?  If someone has found an easy way to do this, let me know.  Otherwise, I think it’s back to the basics and remembering that we’re all human, we’re not perfect and, well, s**t happens.  It’s about having the courage to move beyond that!

Dream and take action

Dream often, dream the impossible…but to make those dreams come true, you have to take action.  This year has really shown me that.  Fear gets in the way of our dreams all too often.  The only way to combat fear is to take action.  Doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or imperfect, just that you get out there and try it.  And here’s the great part – the more you take action, the easier it gets!

Live every week like it’s shark week

I took this line from “30 Rock” because it just says so much.  Now granted this one can be tough to do.  But there’s a huge world out there – get out and explore it!  (note to self:  I’m talking to you!)  Nothing gets me more inspired and revved up than being adventurous, trying new things, taking classes, being curious and being spontaneous.  I can find myself getting stuck in a rut quite easily.  But usually all it takes is for me to be a little adventurous and suddenly everything feels exciting again!   The best part is that it doesn’t have to be something huge – it can be as simple as making something new for dinner or wearing something out of the ordinary.  Life is too short to not live it up and go after your dreams!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DYL is a throwback from last year. I think it’s definitely worth revisiting my dear friend, Crystal’s DYL, as she is now the fabulous founder and editor-in-chief of the recently launched online shelter magazine, Rue. It’s fascinating for us to reflect on Crystal’s intentions from last year, pre-Rue, because they may have propelled her into this brand new life.

She started early last year as the blogger behind Plush Palate with a restlessness and urge to do something extraordinary with her life. Now, she travels all over the country photographing some of the chicest homes and parties. She’s creating the content and inspiration that she used to glean from the glossy pages of her favorite magazines just a year ago. And it would seem that these intentions she set for herself are the building blocks she used to design the completely new and amazing life of her dreams.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Crystal of Plush Palate

Live a Courageous Life

With each decision I make or at each crossroad I arrive, I try to make sure my decisions are not dictated by fear but instead, driven by courage. Only then do I feel I am living the best and fullest version of my life. When the decision seems unclear, I ask myself, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” and then in my heart I know exactly what I need to do. Another favorite quote reminds me that, “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Know Who You Are

It is easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others or trying to be someone you are not, but I find such freedom in reminding myself not to be anyone but me. I try to use and hone the talents that I already have, not to covet the ones I don’t. The way I stay connected to who I am is by making time for the things that truly feed the authentic me – like writing in my journal at night and spending a quiet hour by myself in the morning – and by being able to say no to the things that don’t feel right inside. This quote says it best, “the wise man is always similar to himself.”

Take Pride in What You Present to the World

I strongly believe that this is one of the greatest ways to show respect to yourself and to others. By taking time to dress nicely or by making sure the project I turn in is a reflection of my best work, I am telling myself and others that we deserve the best. I believe this is an important component for healthy self-esteem and a strive to embody it.

Find Balance in Mind, Body, and Soul

When things get busy and I start to feel off kilter, I check in with myself to make sure I am giving ample attention to each. This helps me prioritize my time and get my perspective back where it needs to be. For “mind” I do things like take language classes so I can exercise new areas of my brain. For “body” I make sure to find time to exercise as a way to relieve stress and stay strong. And for “soul” I stay mindful of my values and try to live a life that is consistent and in accordance with them.

Focus On Your Circle of Influence

This is a concept I picked up from reading, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and that really struck a chord with me. There are many things in life we wish were different, but by focusing on the things that we can actually change within our circle of influence, our circle miraculously begins to grow and, in turn, so does the scope of our influence. When I’m faced with a challenge that seems overwhelming, I remember that through action I can go from a place of feeling powerless to a place of great empowerment and impact.

Travel!

Traveling truly is something that I cannot image a life without. I cherish being able to get out into the world and opening myself up to what other places and people can teach me. Some of my best and most pivotal growing has happened during my times abroad. One thing I’m sure of is that a person or a place is never the same after having passed through it.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

[photo credits: Miss Muse, and Simply Seductive (2)]

The DESIGN YOUR LIFE series is back! After it’s vacation this summer, the DYL series is refreshed, slightly tan, and ready to start inspiring all over again. For those of you who are new, this series is where different people each Thursday share their intentions for their life and how they then “design their life” around those intentions.

In keeping with the theme of the week, I’ve asked Kendi our Diversey lookbook model and blogger behind Kendi Everyday to kick off the series this fall. If you haven’t seen her blog yet, go check it out. Her writing is as funny as her husband Bryan’s photography is great.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Kendi of Kendi Everyday

Are you guys tired of me yet? As I’ve been masquarading all over Jess LC and Makeunder My life, Jess thought it would be appropriate to have me write the Design Your Life post for this week. I was a little surprised when she asked me to write for this post, as I’ve admired each and every author of Design Your Life but I’ve never actually considered my life designed, unless you count a sink full of dishes as abstract art. But I have been trying to realign and redesign my life with intention over the past two years. During that time, I started a style blog called Kendi Everyday, a venture I never would have dreamed of in a million years. And now at 25 years old, I’ve feel like I’ve hit the stop sign to where my life was going and now I get to decide where I want it to go. This is what I’ve learned.

Three years ago if you would have asked me who I was I would have answered with this: someone’s daughter, someone’s fiance, someone’s employee. I had no idea who I was. I listed off titles of what I was to someone else, and although they were true and perhaps a part of my identity, they were simply parts to a whole.

A few months after getting married, my husband moved me to the smallest town I’ve ever lived in. Ever. It was his hometown so he was a local name, people knew him, his family, his history. I was just an extension of him. After introducing myself as his wife (and hiding behind that title) far too many times, it finally hit me that I didn’t know anything about who I was or what I wanted in my life.

After this revelation, I started listening to myself more, asking myself what I wanted and how I would do things. After about a year, I decided to take a risk and start a style blog. Let me re-phrase that I started a style blog in a town that could care less about fashion and even less about blogs. But even so, I knew I wanted to write and I wanted to be heard. I’ve since found a path that I’m excited to take on the journey of self-discovery all due to a risk I took a few months ago while trying to find who I am. And while I am still all of those things — a daughter, a wife, an employee, I now know that I am so much more.

The other part is understanding that who you are as a person is not yet finished. But to know who you are at this exact moment is priceless.

That’s right, I said unrealistic. Realistic goals are boring, do-able, expected. Unrealistic goals are bold, risky, and unpredictable. Why would you ever give yourself realistic goals? Where is the fun in that?

As a pessimist by nature and probably by nurture as well (hey Dad), that small voice is always at the back of my head giggling at my unrealistic goals. So paired with my lists of goals are normally my reasons as to why they could not happen, what deems them truly unrealistic. This is when my husband stops me and says “Why not?” to each goal I read aloud. I give him a laundry list of reasons why I would I fail to which he looks at me blankly and says “It seems like you’re the only person that’s holding you back.” And as much as it pains me to say this — he’s right. Dream big, no one is stopping you but yourself.

In the book Through the Looking Glass, this sentence sticks out the most to me: “Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” (Well said, Lewis Carroll.) Make this your goal, think of 6 impossible things for your life each morning. We have imaginations for a reason, for which I like to think is to dream. Dream up the most amazing story of your life, who says that it can’t come true?

Let’s stop for a second and be honest. On your path of life one thing is for certain: You will fail. It’s true, no one that has ever succeeded has failed to fail. (That was a tongue-twister.) As a perfectionist, this statement make my stomach turn. I hate to fail at anything. If I burn dinner you would think that I had just burned our house. I cry over spilled milk, can you imagine how I react to failure? Let me tell you, it’s not pretty.

Kendi Everyday is my third attempt to a style blog. I can’t say why the other two failed, or even if Kendi Everyday has succeeded but I do know that I stuck with it. And that in and of itself is a success. I was afraid to fail but I kept going because I knew that it was what I wanted to do. It’s never an easy route but as I’ve learned if you are afraid of failing you will never try. Try to fail, at least you’ll be trying.

If laughter is the best medicine, then pour yourself two tablespoons and call me in the morning. Some days are just bad days, there is no way around. Some days are downright horrible. On the days when it is hardest to smile, just go ahead and make yourself laugh. Finding a positive light in a situation is tough, but find it. Positive thinking can change your outlook and way of life. If there is nothing else left to do, then laugh. You might just laugh yourself happy again.

(Also, laugh lines are much prettier than frown lines.)

This is not a plug for the Jess LC Franklin Collection necklace. But it’s found here.

I am a dreamer. My brain is always in constant motion of impossible. I think of at least 6 impossible things before lunch and by the time lunch is over I’ve tossed those aside and I’m on to 6 more. There is an upside to this but there is a downside as well. Sometimes I’m so busy with my future plans that have not yet happened that I forget to be where I am, that which is happening. I forget who I’m with, I forget to enjoy what is happening right in front of me. (See? Being a dreamer is a blessing and a curse.) Too many times I’ve looked back at a situation in our lives and I don’t remember it. I let my mind go elsewhere instead of dealing with the present, which as I’ve learned is important if you want to deal happily with your future.  I’ve had to learn to slow down. To be present to what is happening around me and not just in my dreamy little head. Be present to your life now and be hopeful for what’s to come.

This won’t be the last of me, just the last of me on someone else’s blog. Find me at Kendi Everyday.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Flashback! Today we have a good old fashioned DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview with a really cool guest: Anna Mitchael the witty author of Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am: How I Ditched the South, Forgot My Manners, and Managed to Survive My Twenties with (Most of) My Dignity Still Intact. After reading her honest and pretty hilarious story of how she survived her 20′s, I was shocked many times at the correlation between her life and my own- and I’m guessing many of you will see shades of your own experience in her story as well. In fact, if you are interested in winning a copy of her book, hop on over to the Summer (Home) Slim Down Challenge and enter to win.

After reading Anna’s story (you can read more of her work on her site as well), I was thrilled that I had the chance to interview her for the DYL series to find out what her intentions were post 20-something. It seems that she’s found a great outlook on life that I think we all can learn from. Not to mention that her (very) newborn looks adorable.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Anna Michael of Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am

Make eye contact.

‘Make eye contact’ sounds like something your mom told you before your first job interview, and there’s a damn good reason for that: Mothers know best. As a rather cynical person, I have a tendency to approach too many situations with my eyes ready to roll. This idea reminds me to be open to new thoughts, people and perspectives—and to keep from immediately rejecting what doesn’t easily fit into my view of the world. I also believe looking a person in the eye is a show of respect. It says ‘I hear you’ and ‘I realize you are worth my time.’ Even if the time is just a few quick seconds paying a few quarters at the toll booth or passing someone in a grocery store, imagine how much better this world would be if we all took the time to truly see and listen to one another, to treat everyone with just a tad more courtesy and care than is required in our everyday worlds.

Stay big picture.

I can’t tell you how many times a day I have to stop, drop and repeat this to myself. I’m chronically frustrated by the mundane. From doing laundry to paying bills—the little things can throw me for a big loop. It’s good for me to slow down and remember that the balance of my life only stays balanced when the small things stay small. And when it comes to one of the biggest things in my life—my writing—I find I can get off track for weeks (if not months) by getting too wrapped up in the nitty-gritty of publishing, focusing on a negative comment on my website or letting a few days of zero creativity throw me into a self-confidence crisis. Staying big picture reminds me that it isn’t about one review on Amazon, or a missed opportunity to write an article for a specific publication—it’s about the big picture of which words you put on the page, who those words reach and the difference you can make through the larger sum of your days and efforts.

Show me the honey.

Obviously money is necessary because (unfortunately) you can’t buy burritos with smiles (trust me, I’ve tried.) But beyond guacamole, living with money too high on the totem pole can get you into dangerous territory. I’d take the sweet truth of love, friendship or kindness any day of the week: Show me the honey, baby.

Fight for what you love.

It isn’t enough to have passion for the things you love. Whether we’re talking about people, places, things, or maybe even a passion for a way of life, if you aren’t willing to stand up for what matters for you and defend that which moves you, then there is the chance that those things could disappear, or even worse, be taken away. If it’s worth loving, it’s worth protecting; if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for.

Find your own answers.

Much of my twenties went down to chasing lifestyles, cities and achievements that I thought I was supposed to want. But no matter where I lived, what cool bar I hung out at or how many stiletto heels I tried on, I was never fundamentally happier for the efforts. I thought I could adopt the life choices that worked for other people (choices our culture deemed cool and desirable) and have them work for me, but that was never going to happen. Ultimately, I had to find my own answers. Hell, in some cases I even had to write my own questions in order to create a life that would truly make me happy.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

How exciting! Today’s DYL interview features Jill Vegas of Speed Decorating. She’s one of the first published authors we’ve had here for a DYL. I really enjoyed reading her intentions in part because she has already accomplished something many of us are interested in: publishing a book! Not to mention that the topic happens to revolve around my favorite hobby: decorating. Talk about a match made in heaven.

Reading Jill’s intentions and knowing all that she’s accomplished, I find myself inspired and encouraged: if she can do it, we can fulfill our intentions too.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jill Vegas, author of Speed Decorating

Family

I want it all! I want to have fun, adventurous date nights with my husband.  I want goofy, silly, playful time with my son. I want to be present and watch him grow and develop. As a family I want us to spend time together.  Quality time for us to grow together.  I want to make memories that are full of love!
I am committed to planning date nights once a week with my husband.  As a working mother I am still finding the balance. I found a Gymboree book full of simple, playful activities that I can do with him.  I am making sure that I take the time to have devoted time with my son!  I am scheduling and researching really fun and exciting outings we can do as a family.

Home

I want to make my home beautiful each day.  Picking up after myself, having good habits so that my home is clutter free.  By the end of each day I make sure I pick up.  Some days my husband and I have a hard time putting anything away. I want to come up with a game so that we both clean up and set a good example for my son.

I think it is so important to love my home right now.  It doesn’t cost anything to clean and straighten your home.  I recently needed a new wall unit in my living room.  The one I wanted was too expensive, but I found an awesome substitute at Ikea.  It makes me happy, I just need to get the rest of the doors on!!

Body

My body…I am nine months postpartum.  I have eight more pounds to lose  to be at my pre-pregnancy weight.  I recently signed on to do a 30 day challenge.  It involves exercising 5 days a week not eating after 9o’clock.  I have broken both of those promises.  But I am choosing to live in integrity and rat myself out.  It doesn’t feel good to not do what I said I was.  I feel much better when I am honest about it.  I am doing pretty good, but I can do better.  I am also learning to listen to my body. I made the right decision when I chose to go to bed early instead of work out, because I wasn’t feeling well.  It is a balance, and I am learning.

Career

I have recently started to make a shift in focus with my career.  I am a home stager and that is what I have been doing, with the hopes that it would turn into more.  And it is starting to turn into more.  I wrote my book and things are starting to grow.  I am working closely with a friend on developing a product line…woohoo!  I have also been talking about one of my dreams of having my own tv show.  I feel like I am in the middle of an exciting process. I am meditating daily and just floating downstream!  I am really grateful.

Money

I have financial goal of what I want to make by the end of this month. It looks like I am not going to make it. I am acting as if I have already have it.  I am actively seeking out work.  Working towards my goals!  I heard that Shakira said something like “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.”  I like that!

Right now I am shooting a piece for NBC Open House NY.  We are redoing the rec room of a New Jersey firehouse.  These guys are everyday heroes and they deserve to love where the hang out!  I am honored to be a part of it. My goal is to use my creativity to help people have a home that they love. I have been doing a lot of work to spread my passion.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

And now for today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE! I’m happy to say that I’ve got Tristan (aka “Miss B”) from Blah, Blah, Blahg here to share her intentions for her life. If you haven’t seen Tristan’s blog, you are missing out on great writing, photos, and absolutely adorable animal photos. Oh, and she is also a co-mastermind behind behind the big huge hit, The Bright Side Project. If you aren’t familiar with BSP, it’s time to hop on over and start commenting to win some seriously amazing giveaways. As for her intentions, I think she’s the first DYL interviewees to talk directly about being kind to herself, what a great intention to have right at the top of the list.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Tristan of Blah, Blah, Blahg

Be Kind to Yourself.

I know that sounds a little ‘airy fairy’, but as a person that is completely Type A, I can be very critical of myself,.  I would NEVER be as judgmental about another person as I can be with me.  I once emphatically denied being a perfectionist by stating, “I am not a perfectionist, I can never get anything perfect.” Yes, I am a little tough on myself . As I get older I realize that being kinder to myself will result in my becoming the best person I can be not just for myself but others.   Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break revel in  your accomplishments (no matter how minute) you will find being nice to you makes the world think you are 8lbs thinner and ten times smarter than you are.  Okay, I may have made that last part up but try it you never know you may like the new you.

Diversify.

There are people that will consistently tell you that if you don’t focus on ONE thing or you won’t get anywhere.  That’s just crazy talk.  If you were investing in the stock market you wouldn’t put your life savings on one company you would diversify.  It’s okay to have many interests and passions. Hone in on the ones you want to try to utilize to make a living with and keep the others for your hobby or just plain fun. I would consider myself successful and I have tried many interests for both career + creative outlets. I have had success in diverse careers such as a public relations Jedi, jewelry designer, parfmeur, designer, blogger and branding maven. If you truly love something pursue it, it may lead you to another avenue you may have never considered or you may just find that you love it but don’t want to spend your life doing it as work. For the record I intend on diversifying until I have no more energy/life in me.  I would love to add professional photographer, gig poster artist, miniature animal farmer, wife and mommy (amongst many others) to my list of things I want to do when I grow up.

Never Stop Being Delighted.

I started my Souvenir Foto School with the intention of getting my students in the habit of seeing the ‘extraordinary in the ordinary’. No longer would they pass by a wall, tree, person, etc and be oblivious, they would see a moment, an opportunity, beauty that previously was hidden.  I truly believe that life is beautiful and I try to revel in what others would consider mundane. It makes me feel rich and special that I can appreciate more than most, but the best part?  Anyone can develop the skill of being delighted and it’s free!  Next time you are having a bad day/life concentrate on all the things that are wonderful about your moment–Can you see? Hear? Feel?  Already you are ahead of the game.

Be Curious.

I feel like curiosity should be one of the five senses. Without it I might as well just pack up my bags and call it a day. I promise you if you maintain your curiosity, your life will be filled with wonder + magic.   I am constantly asking questions, reading, learning and trying new things.  I feel like having this insatiable curiosity works better than a strong espresso for getting me up in the morning.  Try it, you won’t be disappointed.  Money back guaranteed.

Thank you for this opportunity to share, (sharing is caring after all). If you wondering, yes I I think you are the bee’s knee’s and the best thing to come along since graph paper and French fries.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant is Jen of the popular style and home decor blog, MadeByGirl! I love Jen’s design perspective not only in blogging, but also in her booming online business. (I even have my own lemon colored Love poster in my bathroom.) Anyways, I have secretly had her on my list of DYL interviewees for a while and finally got up the courage to ask her to participate, and she said yes!

It’s very clear from following Jen’s business and blog that she really walks the walk when it comes to these intentions. They all align so beautifully with the life she leads and they translate so perfectly to her online presence, which is not always an easy thing to do.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Jen of MadeByGirl

I have lots of intentions for my life, and believe me….I intend to get to most of them.

My Relationship

At this moment in my life my relationship is very important to me, especially since we recently got married.  People always say once you get married, things change….oh how I am so afraid of that.  I think things change as a result of what you do & don’t do. For me, I intend to always work on the little things that are important for love to keep growing between us.  There are many things about my husband that I love and I think it’s very important to show how you feel.  I do things like leave him a hand-written note, a text message or a mid-day phone call to his office to tell him I’m thinking about him.  These are the type of gestures I intend to keep making.

Growing My Business

My 2nd intention is to keep growing my business and maintain a successful online presence. I’ve always felt  that working for someone else wasn’t for me, but if i had to do it, I would. However, life has given me the opportunity to start my own business and I’ve been living my dream of being an entrepreneur for about 3 years now.  Having an online shop has been an advantage for the simple fact that people from all over the world have access to my shop. I love knowing that we get orders from Australia, Brazil, Canada & more. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to know that my products are being enjoyed by so many people and that keeps me going.

My Passion

Anyone who reads my blog knows my passion for home interiors.  Knowing that, my goal is to one day live in a home that I feel excited and thrilled to decorate. The truth is, my current home is very cookie-cutter and I don’t feel I can fully express my vision the way I’d like to in this space. Basically, my style doesn’t fit this house.  I intend to make it my goal to find that home where my husband and I feel suits our lifestyle…  Being in Las Vegas has presented a huge challenge for me. Homes are beautiful here but they lack character and charm, something I had been used to growing up in New York City.  It’s so important for me to make my home feel like it’s an extension of my personality and I definitely intend to do that in our next home!

Spirituality

Spirituality and God have been part of my life ever since I was a little girl.  Life is full of disappointments as well, so there has to be a sense of love & hope to keep moving forward. I’ve never lost my faith I just put things ahead of it. My beliefs make me feel good & always keep me from doing things I know I shouldn’t be doing. You know, bad things. I normally don’t have problems with temptations and peer pressures because I have such a leader type personality. I guess that is what also keeps me strong.

Being Healthy

Being healthy….let’s see, I try to eat healthy, exercise and remain as active as I can, but it never seems to be enough.
Before I got my online shop going, I used to go to the gym 2-3 days a week, now I am no longer going. I feel awful admitting this, but it’s true. The only physical activity I get is Yoga class once a week & walking my dogs around the city on the weekends.  I also know that being healthy is more than just exercise, walking, going to the gym and eating. Having balance in my life & feeling happy also makes me feel healthy and in shape. When I say in shape, I mean my my frame of mind, it’s focused and ready to take on whatever comes my way. Being physically lean all my life, I’ve been lucky that I didn’t have to work tremendously hard when I did work out. I do intend to be more physically active, because as I mentioned before, it’s all about balance.

Art

Art is a big part of my life….I adore painting my own work as well as purchasing artwork from artists I admire.  To me, a home isn’t complete without art, it really transforms a space. My favorite artists are Franz Kline, Mark Rothko and some paintings by David Bromley.  When I was young I wanted to be a painter and even though that isn’t what I’ve become, I am proud to say that painting is still something I look forward to doing.

Check out more DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE is featuring the one-and-only Meghan of Meghan Radke Web + Graphic Design who designed the new Jess LC website. Her expertise, patience, and good humor through all of the little tweaks and changes we made along the way demonstrated her ability to stay flexible, persistent, and generally rock her career. So of course I wanted to know more about her intentions and how she stayed so chill while juggling tons of projects.

As you read her interview, you will also see that she’s a fantastic graphic designer and she’s turned some pretty big obstacles in her life into building blocks. A key trait of all the DYL participants.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Meghan of Meghan Radke Web Design

Method to the Madness

A couple years ago I got a phone call that changed my life forever: my fiancé called to tell me that he got into grad school and asked me to move to Los Angeles with him. What ensued was a whirlwind of job-hunting and house hunting. Thankfully, I found full time employment. It was a position as a graphic designer for a social stationery company in Los Angeles and I thought that it was the start to a good long career. Then several months later, I was laid off and the store closed. At the time I really was puzzled by what the universe was trying to tell me. Had I made the wrong choice in moving to Los Angeles? Was I not going to make it in my chosen profession? Then I came to a startling revelation: No, I was not meant to be a print designer as I had previously insisted. I was a web designer.

Getting laid off caused a lot of stress and madness in my life, but it also allowed me time to focus on what I wanted to do, gain more education in that area and finally launch my freelancing business. Truly, there is a method of the madness in our lives; we just have to be flexible and ready for opportunities as they rise out of the oncoming craziness.

Follow Your Gut

When I got laid off from my job, I was in despair. In a moment of madness, I reached out to a contact from the past and had the opportunity to work for a well known company as an intern. The position would begin non-paying, but had the potential to develop into a paid position later. My fiancé was really happy that I found something to fill my time with and potentially our bank account in the future.

I went to my first day with high hopes, but as soon as I set foot in their office, I knew it wasn’t where I belonged. I talked it out with lots of friends and family and all told me that I should just stick with it, but I just knew I shouldn’t. I quit and at that moment I felt such a sense of relief it was amazing.

Since that time, I look back on the times when I did and didn’t follow my gut instinct and I can say that the times I didn’t usually ended badly for me. Now I really try to make decisions not only based on what my brain tells me, but also by what my gut tells me, too. In the end, I know that I am happier for it.

Fortune Favors the Bold

My fiancé is a history buff and when we are driving around Los Angeles, which is often, he’ll play podcasts about various historical topics. One that really caught my fancy was about the conquests of South America. These crazed, half-starved, desperate men were up against forces unknown and often times outnumbered thousands to one and yet they battled through and vanquished their foes. Of course, we know now that it was pretty awful what they did and that they had superior weapons, etc. but I must admire their craftiness that was born of desperation. These stories led me to my new mantra: fortune favors the bold.

I am a naturally cautious person. I like to know things first and not be surprised. Yet, being a freelancer you will be chucked into situation where you can’t be cautious and careful, you need to be bold. Whenever I get into a situation where I feel a little nervous I tell myself to be brave and be bold. Though it’s a small thing, it really does chase away the butterflies that live in my stomach.

Know Thy Self

When I moved to San Francisco from Honolulu, I spent 3 months almost entirely alone. It was really difficult for me in the beginning since I come from a very tight-knit family, but during that period of time I learned a lot about being my own person and enjoying my own company. I went to movies alone and I ate alone; mostly I did this out of necessity, with no one around there was only me, myself and I. Yet, through these little exercises, I was taking the time to listen to my inner voice and get to know me.

Though I don’t know everything about myself, I do know more than I did before and this knowledge has helped me when I face personal battles and demons that pop up in my life. An added bonus I discovered is that I don’t feel alone even when I am alone. I have my own company and honestly, that’s fine and dandy with me.

De-stress your Life

Life is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you different. There are professional and personal struggles and sometimes the best way to sooth these woes is a big tub of ice cream and popping in your favorite rom-com.

I found that I was doing the above a bit too much when I was particularly unhappy with life and the added extra weight made me even more unhappy. Finally, I knew that I needed to get in shape and find another activity other than munching to shake the stress from my life.

Now, I’m not very athletic. I’ve never been and I never will be and I also know that if left to my own devices I wouldn’t exercise at all, so I found a great trainer to help whip me into shape. It was hard work, but I found that my mental cobwebs were starting to dissolve as I moved my body and got oxygen pumping. Just getting out and changing my routine a bit helped me to feel less stressed about all my troubles and figure out solutions to problems that were clogging my ice cream filled brain.

Celebrate the small things

One of the hardest things to do when you work for yourself is to stay on task. This is especially true when you work from home. It’s so easy to kick back and watch TV. This is one reason why I don’t have cable TV, to avoid the time suck, but even then the internet is a heck of an invention! Facebook, anyone?  So how do I combat this? I reward the small stuff.

Every little step towards an ultimate goal is a step in the right direction; so I give myself mini-rewards. A lot of times the rewards are myself patting myself on the back, but other times I’ll give myself a little something special to motivate me even more. When I obtain my small goal and get a gift for myself from myself, I won’t lie, I feel darn good and this motivational technique helps keep me focused on the big and small goals.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Those who have seen the new Jess LC lookbook might recognize Tieka of Selective Potential. Having met Tieka during the photo shoot and through reading her blog, I’ve come to admire her so much for her sweet, kind personality. No to mention her accomplishments in art school, her personal life, and the blog. So of course I wanted to learn more about how her intentions guide her actions. (I feel pretty lucky that I can just ask the people I admire to spill the secrets to their success through DYL interviews.)

After reading Tieka’s intentions, I really admired how honest and candid she was about her progress. I feel like she’s almost left us a road map of sorts to help us overcome some of the same obstacles she’s faced in the past.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Tieka of Selective Potential

Just go for it

I run a personal style blog, Selective Potential, and when I started – I had no idea where I was going with it… or how to even start, but I just went for it. I set it up the best I knew how and started networking and working hard. It was day in and day out on the blog, making it better each and every day and all of those hard working days turned into months of amazing success. I was so intimidated by such high powered fashion bloggers – I always thought to myself, “I could never afford that!” or “I could never pull that off.” It’s not about that. Running my blog – I just put myself out there – with my budget, my life restrictions and try to inspire others through what I’m able to do. I always try to put my best work into the blog – I truly think it all out – and then I just go for it! Most of the time, I get an amazing response from readers and truly feel accomplished with what I have done!

Be in control

I found that I used to “out of control”. I didn’t have a good grasp on time management, or what I should be doing with my life. I found that once I tried to make every second of my day count – the day ended and I felt amazing about how I spent my time and how the next day kept looking better and better! Last year, I lost 35 pounds following the Weight Watchers program. Prior to starting the program, I found myself stressed, busy, with no motivation to wake up in the mornings causing me to be even more rushed and busy, I’d grab food without thinking about it, I’d put off homework to sit on the couch and complain about how I didn’t have it all together. Until, I was tired of that lifestyle! And my weight was the biggest thing holding me down. As soon as I was able to control my daily diet with Weight Watchers, I felt I could do anything. Losing weight made me a better student, a happier wife, a more motivated person to clean the apartment or to be active outside. I’d think of each activity as a bonus for the diet and at the end of it all, I found myself having a blast being busy, and active because it was all things I wanted to do with my life.

Love your surroundings

I grew up with people who complained left and right about our state, our town. “It’s awful here,” “There is nothing to do,” “It’s freezing,” “I hate everyone here,” whatever their excuse, it was unnecessary. And I used to be one of them, until I embraced my surroundings. I live in Michigan – a place not too exciting to the outsider – but as soon as I immersed myself into my surroundings, I fell in love with living here. And being in love with your location and your surroundings, changes your entire outlook on life. My husband, Brett, and I now take monthly adventures around our state to explore something new. I always try to incorporate something unique about Michigan into my fashion blog, by surrounding myself by interesting sculptures or gorgeous scenery. I’ve even found that putting myself into these settings has helped inspire my fashion sense! I feel like whenever I look at an outfit I put together, I think to myself, “That is so Michigan – so perfect for my little beach town!” It’s amazing the fun you can find in where you live, instead of wishing you were always somewhere else. Love where you are.

Love who surrounds you

Surround yourself with genuine people. And most of the time, you’ll know if they are genuine or not. I used to surround myself with some of the worst people and I was never sure why. I knew they weren’t good people, but yet I still spent my time with them until after enough time passed – I still felt alone, like I didn’t actually have friends. I didn’t really get a good grasp on this until I met my husband, Brett. He was the most kind and most caring person I had ever met. Spending so much time with him makes me realize I wish I had spent more time with people like him my entire life. It would have been so much more fun and carefree and “drama”-free. He comes from an amazing family who makes my life so much more worthwhile. And granted, I don’t have many girlfriends – two very close ones – but I know they are both going to be there for me through everything. It’s not the quantity – but the quality of the relationships you have in your life.

Be passionate

I get countless emails from girls asking, “How did you get so many readers?” “How do you get so many comments?” “Why am I not getting comments or readers?” and my answer is always – don’t do something for others, always do it for yourself. When I started blogging, I had no idea what to expect. I blogged because I thought it looked fun, and it was a great hobby, for a keepsake – never to gain sponsors, or readers, or clicks, or whatever! In each one of my blog posts, I always think to myself – how do I want to remember this time period, what outfit do I want to wear while having fun, etc. Many of my blog posts back in November didn’t have many comments – but I put just as much hard work into those as I do now! It’s about yourself – if you’re not passionate about something, then it becomes a job and it loses its edge! So many people believe they can start something and it’s an instant success – it doesn’t work that way. I spent seven hour alone coming up with a blog name! I can’t even begin to tell you how many hours I’ve spent designing the layout, taking outfit shots, editing the shots, planning outfits, shopping, networking, commenting. It’s honestly a full time job – but it doesn’t feel like it because I love it so much. And this pertains to anything in life – whether it’s a blog, or a shop, or a class, or going to college – whatever. As soon as you look at it like it’s a chore, it’ll be a chore!

Every day counts

This was my motto when I started my “life change” January 1 2009, the first day I started Weight Watchers. Every single day, I made sure that every day counted. It would motivate me to wake up in the morning, attend that 8:30 AM class, make it count, to pay attention in class, to eat something healthy for that day’s lunch, and that day’s dinner, and to head to the gym afterwards – just for that night. I didn’t think about the upcoming weeks – how many countless hours I’d have to spend eating non-buttered popcorn or sweating around the track at the gym. I’d think about today. And by the end of it all – I was 35 pounds lighter, ran my very first 5K, had a straight A semester, was on the president’s list at college and the happiest I’ve ever been. After keeping up the “every day counts” mentality for over a year now – I’m graduating, with a studio excellence award, still at my weight goal, insanely passionate about blogging and still have those true genuine people in my life – and I feel like all of those “every days” made up some amazing successful months (and years!)

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today’s DYL features one of the most sweet, genuine (and prolific) bloggers around: Holly from Decor8. As many of you may know, her awesome design blog is a constant source of inspiration for interior design and handmade goods, and her Blogging Your Way classes are also extremely popular. When I found out I had the opportunity to find out what makes Holly tick, in the form of a DESIGN YOUR LIFE interview, I have to say, I had goosebumps!

After reading through her interview, the gem I spotted immediately was the statement at the end of her fourth intention. But I don’t want to spoil it too soon, so read on to see what I’m talking about. Such a great insight.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Holly of Decor8

When it comes to intentions I have many but it’s not about merely good intentions is it? It’s about knowing and then doing. I tried to think about some areas in my life currently where I am putting my intentions to work because like everyone else I have lists a mile long and some of my intentions never reach the light of day. This is why I have been known to tell others to only list your top five goals at a time, work through them, and move on to your next five goals. It makes goals easier to reach and intentions become real things that you can point to and it feels really good! As you reach your goals, your self confidence grows and you experience less fear the next time you decide to tackle a goal. So to practice what I preach today, I will list 5 of my intentions. Maybe grab a piece of paper after you’ve read this, or even blog about it, you can play along and list your top 5 intentions and how you plan to turn those into real, tangible things.

First, because family is #1 to me, I intend to stay happily married forever and I so I tell my husband that I love him daily and do something nice for him — make breakfast, prepare lunch or dinner, or I go out of my way to spend time doing something for him that I know he will appreciate. We also take a walk every night, we call these times our “night walks” and this is when we walk and talk — about everything — openly and without judgment for an hour –sometimes longer depending on the weather. If it’s really warm out, a cone of ice cream may be involved. : )

The next intention is that I intend to be authentic, always. I want to follow my inner voice and reflect who I am inside on the outside because this helps me to stay on target as I’m frequently readjusting my priorities to navigate the waters — my inner compass never misleads me but I have to follow it. I find it challenging at times online when people cannot put facial expressions and tone of voice with my words but I want others to see that I am not only passionate about my topics (decorating, creativity, small business, blogging, community building) but I’m real, I’m normal, and I am who I am. Those who have met me in person know this but everyone else can only see what is presented online and I want others to feel like they “know” me, the real me, too. Again — a challenge online, and also a challenge in an environment where self-promotion is king, but I want all to know that what you see is really what you get. Even in my personal life — I want my friends to feel like they have access to all of me, not just the parts I want to show — but all. I also know that this is the only way to receiving unconditional love which is the greatest love of all in my opinion. If you only show what you want others to see then they love you conditionally, the moment you “let them down” the relationship ends. But if you are real and putting your true self out there then the love you receive is longer lasting and more satisfying because it’s love without condition.

My third intention goes along with the second: I want to go to bed each night feeling at peace with myself and like, somehow, I made a person happy or gave them something that they may not have had that day if it weren’t for me. I genuinely feel glad when I know that something I did impacted another in a positive way. I find that when I give I always get back emotionally in ways that money or fame cannot give me. There is a deep-seated joy and tranquility that I experience when I see how something I’ve done helped another. The only “negative” side to this is that I sometimes can get so wrapped up in my family/friendships and online friends that I can neglect myself. I’ll buy a new camera for my husband before buying one for myself or I’ll help someone online when I really should be spending time on a personal project. This is why I unplug now on the weekends and also why I have taken on a few projects offline that are very special and personal to me — the book I am working on and also the handmade market in my city with a very nice team locally. I’m learning balance and well… this leads me to the fourth intention…

Intention #4 has to do with my health. Emotionally and spiritually I intend to always work on these things daily in a variety of ways that are deeply personal and meaningful to me. Journaling is one way that I use to explore my emotional side and to dig deep. But I rarely spend the time on my physical health as I do on caring for my emotions and spirituality. I’m certainly not harmful to myself and I shower each day! ha ha! In fact, the first thing I do is shower and put on my makeup, set my hair in rollers (every single day, even though I work at home) and I dress pretty for my home-based business but I rarely make time to go out of my way for spa days, massages, acupuncture, inline skating, manicures  — and I usually only go to a salon for my hair 3x a year which is hardly enough. I really, REALLY need to learn to pamper myself more! So with that I joined a spa/gym and have committed to going daily beginning April 1 for one month 2-3 hours per day in the morning. I have already scheduled my month to accommodate my spa schedule. This isn’t about getting “fitter” as much as tuning in more to my body and learning how to relax. I’m going to use the sauna, exercise, order smoothies, lay on the deck on sunny days with a book, and enjoy every single day of April doing so. I also plan to make a salon visit in April, too and maybe even get a massage. After April, I plan to go 3x per week to unwind and make this routine more of a focus in my life. I also sold my car last July and so everything is done via foot or on the train — so now I’ve decided to get back into inline skating (I bought a new pair recently) and I’m on the prowl for a new bicycle – both activities will provide added benefits to my psychical health as well as emotional and spiritual health. I am determined to pamper myself more because at the end of the day my health is the only thing I’ve got — if that goes, what’s the point? You really learn this as you get older! There is no, “Tomorrow I will…” — one must replace that with, “Today I can…”.

I’ll wrap this up with a fifth intention (so your lovely readers don’t fall asleep). I intend to reach one of my childhood dreams — to write a book — and now that I have a book deal with a real publisher and everything (oh boy!) my dream is closer to seeing fulfillment. I wondered if I’d ever have the chance to see my name on the spine of a decorating book and soon I hope to see just that. We all have dreams and sometimes they feel really far away or even lost but oftentimes we just need to follow our passions and the dreams resurface. This is precisely what happened to me. So I intend to make this a book one that not only makes me proud but that also pleases my husband, friends and family and above all — the readers of decor8 who have supported me and who have been my loyal friends since the beginning back over four years ago. Back then, I had no clue that a blog would bring me even close to a book but now that it has I can see that staying on course despite the moments of self-doubt, fear, writer’s block, and the endless nights spent thinking, “Is anyone listening to me out there?” — by staying on course things have worked out for me. I always felt, especially in the beginning when I had about 15 readers, that even if no one listened that at least I was enjoying the process of talking about something so freely that I truly loved and that 15 was better than nothing and so I got to know some of those earlier readers and focused on being happy with what I had. I think a blog author really has to realize how precious each reader really is and work hard to deliver something that is meaningful to you no matter if you have 15 or 150,000 readers…

I have many more intentions that include becoming a mother (hopefully next year once the book is published), adding new features and such to decor8, and building the community of creatives here in my city — but for now, I’ll sign off and leave you with these.

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Today I’d like to introduce you to one of MML’s new sponsors, Heidi of the blog, To Be Luminous. Heidi is a life coach from Florida living in Prague (how cool is that?). Next week I’ll share more about her life coaching (including an exciting giveaway) but today, the focus is on Heidi’s intentions and the life she has designed.

Here are the two things that struck me about Heidi’s DYL, a) I felt like I know her and b) I wish we could be friends “in real life.” Anyone who follows her intuition and believes that the unconditional love of a puppy is equivalent to surrounding herself with amazing people is golden in my book.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Heidi of To Be Luminous

Be Authentic

We are all quirky and different.  I am a strange blend of an avid traveler, consummate home body, guilty-pleasure tv watching, spiritually minded life coach.  I love it!  When I was in the fourth grade there was a competition for the best handwriting and I looked at my chicken scratch and was positive I couldn’t win.  Lindsey (I still remember her name) had long red hair and perfect penmanship.  She won the fountain pen and I tried hard to write like her.  Fast forward to eighth grade, my best friend (also Heidi) had a lovely round bubbly handwriting.  It matched her “perfect” puffy bangs (I wish I had a picture of THAT to share). I tried and I tried to write just like her.  One day in college, I started writing naturally.  I wasn’t copying anyone, it felt fabulous!  My unique to me handwriting is now something I cherish because after twenty years of trying to be like everyone else, it represents a part of me that is uniquely mine.  It might take some of us longer than others to embrace who we are, but when we do it it gives permission to the people around us to do the same.  Everybody wins!

Flirt

Flirting makes people feel special and that’s always a good thing!  It brings out the best in someone and the fun in you.  My college roommates used to say that I’d flirt with a tree if I could and they were right.  For awhile I was ashamed of my inherent flirting, but as I watch the way it lights people up (men & women), I’m not willing to give it up.  We all have our own style.  One of my friends has a mega-watt smile that can stop anyone dead in their tracks.  She uses it on everyone and can warm even the frowniest heart.  I’m more of a teasing flirt.  I love to tease in a happy, loving, uplifting way.  But don’t lead any unsuspecting men on . . . that’s just mean.

Follow Your Intuition

We have this wonderful little guy inside each of us that somehow has it all figured out.  I love listening to him because whenever I do magic happens.  Not only do I avoid dangerous situations but my life opens up onto broad and beautiful paths.  My intuition led me to live in Prague, become a life coach, get my sweet puppy Harry and buy that red trench last spring (which I’ve now worn for 9 of the last 12 months).  I make time every day to listen.  For me, I use a combo of journal and my morning walk in the park with Harry.

Look For Beauty

I studied humanities in college and began my quest for beauty.  I love looking for the lovely even in the most unlikely moments.  I’ve learned that what I look for in life is what I find, so I make a point of finding the beautiful and dwelling on it.  This works in situations, on people, and all aspects of life- not just the visual.  When you meet a cranky person you can’t seem to connect with, try seeing what is beautiful about them and focusing on it.  It works!

Surround Yourself with Amazing People

I love to be with people who bring out the best in me and then I want to bring out the best in them too.  There are too many people in the world quick to cut us down and tear us apart, why voluntarily let them into my free time?  I also think having a dog is wonderful.  His smile melts my heart on even the toughest day and when I’m a bear and difficult to love, he still loves me.  It’s unconditional and don’t we all need that?

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Happy Thursday! In honor of the spring weather we are having here in Chicago (with a high of 68* today!) I thought I would re-post one of the happiest and most colorful DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews we’ve ever had here on MML by Katie of Color me Katie. Enjoy!

(From July/9 2009)

This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE (DYL) is about Katie of Color Me Katie, writer of one of the happiest blogs I have ever followed. Katie is a wonderful photographer and street artist (I suppose that is a good word for her random acts of kindness). This interview actually came about from a (first ever) reader request. Claire, a friend and MakeunderMyLife reader, told me about Katie’s blog and asked me to connect with her about DYL so she could learn more about Katie’s intentions.

Katie was extremely kind and agreed to sharing her intentions and some of her awesome photos. As I suspected, I was inspired myself to shake things up in my own routine after reading her thoughts. This morning I will not be eating cheesy oatmeal. It sounds like a small step, but I happen to have a serious addiction.

Read on!

Be creative

It’s important for me to express myself creatively every day. I have all of these fun ideas in my head and if I don’t get them out I’m pretty sure my mind would explode. Realistically, I’d probably just get frustrated and fall asleep. But explosion or no explosion, doing something creative acts as a therapy for me. I feel better after taking photographs, making street art, painting, or making wall sized collages. The messier and more sweatier I get, the better I feel.

Don’t grow up

Well, not completely anyways. I think it’s important to keep that little kid inside of you. I see a lot of people turn into grumpy old men that just complain about everything. I know that we’re all adults and we have important adult-like things to do but that doesn’t mean we have to let go of that playful side of ourselves. I’m still all about blowing bubbles, running around in the rain, and playing with my food and I always will be!

Break your routine

I hate the idea of getting up, eating breakfast, and going to work the same way every day. It eventually gets boring and I will not stand for boring! I want to wake up to a day that is always new, so I make sure I change it up a bit. First of all, who made this rule that for breakfast we should eat cereal. If I wake up and want spaghetti, I’ll make spaghetti. Whenever I leave the house I go a different way each time. I walk down a new street, ride the bus, take a different train, or hop on a forklift if I can find one! Even if it’ll take me longer to get there, I don’t care. I just always want to see something new.

Be Optimistic

It’s raining again? Wonderful! It’ll make the flowers grow. I got paint on my favorite coat? Great! I can turn it inside out, sew on new buttons, and make it better than before. There’s always a way to find something positive in a situation you would normally think was negative.

Give yourself a gift everyday

There are some days that can feel so long but it makes it a lot easier to get through if you give yourself a gift. I always like to give myself something little like a cupcake, a flower, balloons, or an iced coffee at my favorite cafe. It’s not expensive and it’s a lovely little pick me up during the day.

Be yourself

I’m not perfect, I know that. I have this thing where I trip at least once a day and somehow my dress will always find a way to fall down at the most inappropriate moments. I say the wrong things at wrong times and only have laughing attacks when I’m alone on the train, which makes me look like a crazy person. I used to be really embarrassed of myself when I was younger but now I find all these little things to be funny and they make me who I am. The next time my dress accidently falls down at a funeral it’ll fall with pride!

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

Good morning! This week’s DESIGN YOUR LIFE participant, Liz of Sincerely, Liz, is also a new sponsor for MML. I’m excited to share her intentions and her amazing photography so that you all might get to know a bit more about her and her talents. As you will read, Liz has an incredibly kind heart. You can also follow her daily on her blog as well.

I’ll be taking her intention to give people the benefit of the doubt some serious thought in my own life. I can already think of a handful of situations where this is much needed. Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Liz of Sincerely Liz

Positivity.

We all have bad times, right? Here’s my cure-all solution to getting rid of the darkness in your life: put some light in it. My light comes 100% from my faith in God, but I have a few things I practice regularly, in addition to my faith, to keep my chin up. One of the big things I have done in recent months is surround myself with positivity. This includes actions like unfollowing negative tweeters (tweeple? tweeps? twitter folks?), stop spending time with people that leave me feeling drained 100% of the time, give myself permission to let go of people/behaviors/habits that weigh me down. In addition, I started doing more positive things like sharing smiles with strangers, posting uplifting quotes on facebook, writing weekly Gratituesdays on my blog. It took me 26 years to realize that the banner in my 5th grade classroom really WAS right. “Attitude is everything.” I tell ya what, keep it positive and you can get through anything.

Use your talents to give back.

I truly believe God has given us all talents that we should use to bless others. Not only does it lift up and help the people around you, but giving to others is enjoyable! It’s all a big, happy cycle of blessings and I think it makes life a bit better.

Give the benefit of the doubt.

I have two questions I ask myself before I speak. Okay, realistically I ask myself these questions as often as I can remember. Which is not ALL the time. But, I really, really try. Question one: Is what you are about to say going to negatively impact anyone? If so, don’t speak. Question two: Are you simply observing out loud or is what you are about to say productive? Someone once told me that he didn’t speak much because he realized that almost everything he would say was simply an observation about life. “She said this,” “We went here,” etc. For someone who has a mouth that has gotten her in a lot of trouble in the past, this was an amazing concept. One that I adopted for my own life from that day on.

I don’t know if it was the way I was raised, or the culture I grew up in, or simply my sinful nature, but I have had a lifelong struggle with judging others. I find that my mind is assuming things about other people based on the tiniest glimpses I see of their lives before I even have the opportunity to process what I’m seeing. I am continually coaching myself (in silence) to STOP assuming and judging others. The way that I do this is to always think “what if that were me? What if what the person was saying, doing, or behaving like… what if that were me? What could possibly justify what I was witnessing?” It’s a continual thing for me, but I genuinely strive to someday reach a place in my mind where judgments never, ever happen.

Holy moly. I feel extremely privileged to bring to you the DESIGN YOUR LIFE intentions of none other than Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design! As many of you interior design buffs know, Summer’s portfolio and personal home tour have become inspiration for many, many homes across the blogosphere. In fact, her home was actually the inspiration for my own home decor with Kelly + Olive months ago as well.

So without any further delay, I give you a peek inside Summer’s extremely talented brain.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Summer Thornton of Summer Thornton Design

Take Risks

If you never take a risk, you’ll never have an opportunity to really succeed.  Overcoming obstacles, enduring setbacks, and truly taking leaps of faith are what give you the courage to do so in the future.  If you live within your comfort zone, you’ll never experience anything unique, spectacular, or adrenaline-rushing!  Don’t let fear hold you back.  I had to quit my job and basically go 100% commission (on my own) when I started my business.  Scary at the moment, but looking back it was so apparent that it was the right decision.

Gain inspiration from outside your ‘bubble’

We all live in somewhat limited cultural bubbles.  We have our limited group of friends, we live in a certain neighborhood or city, and we are rarely exposed to truly original experiences.  Travel serves as my main inspiration and boundary-stretcher.  Last year was a whirlwind of travel and a lot of fun.  I traveled to India, New Orleans, New York, Kentucky, Miami, and LA in an effort to expose myself to other cultures, experiences, and design inspiration.  India was certainly the most culturally shocking experience.  While there on a service project, I was reminded of how fortunate and blessed I am, and at the same time I was gaining new appreciation and understanding for cultural elements that I would use in my career.  I came back with a love of block prints, a passion for jade, and an increased interest in new color schemes.  Another example was the Miami trip which was a short vacation.  It was also an opportunity to visit the Viceroy & Tides hotels which were designed by Kelly Wearstler as well as the spa at Icon Brickell which was designed by Philippe Starcke.  I left relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to create again with some great inspiration from two premiere designers.  In 2010, hopefully I’ll be headed to Paris for some serious flea marketing…

Do what you love

If you don’t love what you do, do something else.  Even if you have to take a pay-cut, even if you have to ‘start over’, do whatever it takes to do what you love.

Better bold than boring

Stand for something.  Anything.  In design, indecisiveness is the death of a great room.  Beige walls for instance, are oftentimes the result of indecisiveness.  Sure they don’t offend anyone, except me perhaps, but they also don’t say anything about the home owner.  The same can be said about a slew of ‘acceptable’ decisions in life.  Maybe this is the same as #1 (take risks), but its more about identifying who you are, and being proud of that.  I’m working on a design for the DreamHome in the Merchandise Mart that opens this April.  Some of the people who see it are going to think it is over-the-top, and they’re absolutely entitled to that opinion.  But my hope is that others will find it over-the-top in an utterly amazing, challenging, and completely original way (that they love).  And even if the latter isn’t the majority, those are the ones I hope will want to work with me in the future.  I would rather my rooms inspire thought and discussion, even if negative, than tired yawns of boredom.  You can’t please everyone, so why try!

Do something good for someone else

If you can, find ways to use your talents & natural gifts for a higher purpose.  It’ll be more rewarding than even the most profitable business venture.  And if you’re blessed financially, look for opportunities to use those resources for someone/something that really needs it.  Make it a priority, and your life will be changed forever.

(To get Summer Thornton Design updates, visit her facebook page.)

Check out past DESIGN YOUR LIFE interviews.

This week’s DYL features Brigitte of the blog, Covet Chicago. I first met Brigitte via comments and email, and later in person when she stopped by Macy’s during one of my trunk shows. We hit it off right away and I am incredibly grateful for the insights Brigitte had for MML. Before speaking with her, it never occurred to me that I might need to do a quick recap on how I found my purpose. And thanks to her suggestion, many people feel like they understand my story much better now.

I also had a feeling that Brigitte’s own personal intentions would be helpful for MML. And this single line from her intention to “know when to draw the line” is going to stick with me for quite a while, “my actions matter more than my intentions.” What a true statement. No matter what we vision boards we make, mantras we repeat, or businesses we dream about, until we put one foot in front of the other to make those goals become reality, we are going to sit as Henry David Thoreau said, in quiet desperation. Thank you for this awesome insight, Brigitte.

Enjoy!

DESIGN YOUR LIFE: Brigitte of Covet Chicago

Live Your Values Daily

I admit…this first one sounds pretty vague. But it’s the most powerful of my intentions, because by forcing myself to sit down and define my values and map my life goals according to them, I have a roadmap for life. I read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People at a time that I was on the path to conventional success (good job, rapid promotions, increasing salary and responsibility) but utterly unhappy. As I read, I really worked the book, dedicating my precious free time to the exercises. One that was particularly powerful for me came early. I had to envision my funeral and write my own eulogy. In imaging what I’d like my family, friends and colleagues to say about me after I lived my (hopefully long) life, I was able to clearly define my values. And I knew that if I wanted other people to describe my life according to my values, I’d have to live them every day. So my first and more important intention is to revisit my values every year and hold myself accountable to them.

Act Like Nobody’s Watching

I am the classic perfectionist, complete with the intense fear of failure that often accompanies this lovely trait. I cannot count the times I have passed up opportunities, because I was afraid to make mistakes, be the worst in class or simply to avoid scrutiny. On top of this, I was bullied as a child. I think that all adults who were once bullied hold onto a feeling that others are constantly watching them…waiting for them to slip up so they can exploit your failure for a laugh. About five years ago, I had a supervisor bluntly tell me, “It’s not all about you. No one cares one way or another.” I was liberated! No one cared if I succeeded or failed. My family would love me regardless, and other people…simply wouldn’t notice. So many of my current passions and hobbies were made possible by that simple, incredible statement.

Be Brazen…

I’m not quite committed to radical honesty, but I come pretty close. If I don’t like something you say or do, I won’t smack you in the face with it, but I won’t lie and say, “Ooh, I love that” or “I agree” when I don’t. Generally, I just keep my mouth shut. This makes me the worst person to fish for compliments with…because I’ll only take the bait if I actually believe in the compliment I’m giving. On the other hand, my friends know that they can come to me for the truth…and I’ve been told it makes my compliments that much sweeter.

But despite this habit in my daily life, I’m much more reserved when it comes to my writing and even how I define myself. Right now, I’m testing my personal limits, and I’ve let loose a few posts that feel like I’m crossing some sort of line on the public/private divide. But I’m finding that the posts that make me feel twitchy are the ones that I’m also most proud of. So…I’m daring myself to be as brazen in my writing as I am in person.

…But Know When to Draw the Line

This is where I admit that I’ve suffered from low emotional intelligence. I went all the way through college not understanding why some of my friends were “so sensitive.” One friend, in particular, would try to explain to me why my words were hurtful, and I simply didn’t get it. Of course I was kidding when I said xx (I really was). And, no, I guess I wouldn’t like her to point out yy fault of mine (but I only did it for the good of our friendship). I honestly couldn’t understand where she was coming from.

It took me 28 loooong years to figure it out. Some things just don’t need to be said. And whether or not I understand why something is hurtful (because it wouldn’t upset me) simply doesn’t matter in the end. My actions matter more than my intentions.

Always Offer a Helping Hand

When I was starting my career in PR (since abandoned!), I was helped by total and complete strangers. People I’d never met before went out of their way to meet with me, give me advice and introduce me to yet more strangers. I will never forget their generosity. That’s why, if someone asks me for my help, and I truly believe I can be of service, I don’t hesitate. I’ll review resumes, run through my rolodex or simply share some of the tricks that have worked for me. I’ve also worked an annual giving allowance into my budget, which is my way of saying thank you to the universe. And I’m ALWAYS willing to help a friend move or paint if there’s a slice of pizza and bottle of beer on the table.

Choose Joy for Yourself and Share it with Others

Would you believe me if I told you that I used to be a total drama queen? And a pessimist? I’m proof that you can change your outlook on life, simply by choosing to live the life that makes YOU happy. Not the life that others prescribe for you. I’m still a snarky girl (and I wouldn’t give it up even if I could), but I’m also a profoundly grateful and happy girl. I know that I can choose to seek out activities and books and even blogs that make me smile…or ones that trigger my heightened sense of outrage. Jess’s purpose in life is the makeunder philosophy. Mine is helping others realize that there are no safe choices…only ones that resonate deep within you and those that don’t. Always choose joy.