[Giveaway Entries Are Now Closed]
First, let me say I’m overwhelmed, thrilled, and so honored to get the support I got yesterday with the launch of Jess LC. Thank you all so very much.
Today’s post is written by life coach Heidi, of To Be Luminous. Her ideas on personal power are a perfect continuation of MakeunderMyMarch in the mental realm. She is also a MML sponsor, and last week’s DYL participant. Enjoy!
(And remember to check out the bottom of the post for a sweet giveaway…)
Heidi on Personal Power
I love “Makeunder My Life” for too many reasons to list out here and since you all feel the same way, it would be redundant. For the sake of time and space I’ll stick to the #1 reason I give MML stamp of approval:
This process paves the way to personal power.
Most people move through life tossed around on the waves while life happens to them and then wonder why their life isn’t going where they want it to go! In designing your life you are taking your life back into your own hands and are daring to believe you know a better way.
Even after setting powerful intentions and moving forward in our dreams life keeps moving and I don’t know about you, but I still find myself listening to what someone else thinks I should do and doubting my deep desires and personal intentions – even just for a split second. For many of my clients just as they begin breaking down barriers, throwing away parts of life that don’t suit them (everything from a bad skirt to a sketchy boyfriend), the world starts to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” and sadly enough some step out of their new strength and retreat back into their former comfy world. Think: taking off the perfectly styled new outfit you’ve been dreaming of and slipping back into sweats. It sounds comfy, but comfy doesn’t help us achieve our dreams, become the person we’d like to be, and share our authentic selves with the world that so desperately needs each and every one of us.
We have to strengthen our personal power and as we take the MML action steps, it’s equally important to reacquaint ourselves with our own personal voice, our spirit, our intuition . . whatever you want to call it. It’s the little guy inside you that says what you really think. Your intuition fills you up, gives you wisdom, dispels fear, and calms anxiety. Your personal voice is full of love and joy- for you and for others exactly as you are now. Sometimes it’s even more of a feeling or a whisper, but the closer attention we pay to it, the stronger our personal power becomes and we come closer to our authentic selves and allow the people around us to do the same. Isn’t it great? By being our best selves we give our favorite people permission to do the same.
The best three ways to hone in on your own voice are to do the following. WARNING: This is a lengthy life long process. Do not expect to master it overnight, but DO expect to feel amazing strength, energy and courage very, very quickly!
#1 – Toss your energy vampires.
This means do your best to rid yourself of not only your excess stuff (which is perfect place to start), but your excess personal baggage too. Sit down and set the timer for 15 minutes. Grab a pen and paper (so much better than a computer for a brain dump) and write down the parts of your life that pull you away from who you dream of being. Your list might look like this:
- Screaming boss
- Critical “frenemy” Jill
- Guilt over broken relationship with Greg
- Hour long daily calls where my mom tells me what’s wrong in my life
- All my excuses for not going to the gym (Grey’s Anatomy, Deep fudge chocolate cake, having one-too many the night before)
- Vogue magazine (makes me want more stuff and to look model thin)
This list is different for everyone. One person’s vice (deep fudge chocolate cake) maybe a fabulous motivational tool for someone else. Keep it personal and remember it’s only about you! One example from my list will sound silly, but I used to watch the Hills and after watching it I’d always feel frumpy, unstylish, like I need to shop, lose some weight, etc. It wasn’t that I was actually saying these things out loud, but I never felt good after watching it. I put it on my vampire list. Anything that drags you down instead of lifting you up (including people) should be on the list. For most people on the list, it will be a matter of changing the nature of the relationship. For example: if mom yells at you, rather than cut her off, you need to find a new way of relating to her.
Once the list is made, get ready to start cutting. Some things are easy to cut, others will be difficult. Go slow and do your best, just know that you are treating yourself with care and deserve to feel alive and amazing, so that you can help others to feel the same way.
#2- Fill up on the good stuff.
Nope, I don’t just mean the aforementioned chocolate cake . . . just like your list of vampires, it’s time to sit down and make a list of people, places, items, and influences that fill you with joy. Set the timer and go! This list might include:
- My best friend Holly
- Date night with my man
- Cake batter batter ice cream from Coldstone
- A long hard run on a Spring day
- Girl’s night out dancing
- Long conversations with my sister
- A day on the beach
- An invigorating project at work
You get the picture. This is fun! If it feels like work, you’re doing it wrong. Put it down and try again later. Making this list should bring you to life, quicken your step and start you laughing.
Once the list is made start filling up the holes left by the previous list. If you go to lunch with Frenemy Jill three days a week and only see best friend Holly once every other week . . . there’s some obvious switching up to do. You get the gist. Have fun with it and just get started!
#3- Listen to your authentic voice every day.
The first two steps will get you started, but this last one will keep you going for the rest of your life. You have got to make time to listen to yourself daily or you’ll never hear that important whisper that could lead you into the life you’ve dreamed of. The more you listen, the stronger you become internally and all those vampires begin to lose their grip on you. You will find that you second guess yourself far less and you’ll jump in and take risks at times you never would have before.
Listening means making time. When I commuted, I’d turn off my iPod, not answer my cell and then I’d dream and talk to myself (out loud . . . I know a little crazy, but no one could hear).  My car was a sacred place. I kept it clean and I kept my heart open. It was on one of these drives that I felt nudged to go live in Bulgaria for a year and a half. These quiet nudges WILL change your life.
Another way to listen is by journaling. I’m not talking about writing a discourse on the details of your day. I mean, sitting down in a quiet calm place for 30 minutes and scratching out whatever comes into your mind. The words won’t be pretty and often they’ll be grumpy, but half way through (for me it’s around the 15 minute mark) brilliance starts to shine through. I have been doing this daily for a decade now and every bold, brave, amazing move I’ve made first began as a scratch in my journal, a seemingly silly momentary thought.
If you make no other change in your life than listening to (and acting upon) your authentic voice your life will unfold in beautiful and unexpected ways. This is the process I work through with my clients weekly. It’s empowering and frustrating, full of highs and lows, but so is life. Our dreams need a soft, happy, joyful place to grow and if we start within ourselves, miracles will happen.
GIVEAWAY: Six Weeks of Life Coaching with Heidi
Wow, right?! Heidi has generously offered to do a giveaway for a six-week life coaching session for someone on MML! To enter, comment on this post and I’ll use the good old random number generator to choose a winner next Wednesday, April 7th.
[photos courtesy of Kate Powers]
March 31st, 2010 at 1:44 pm
What an incredible opportunity!
Thanks for the offer and great information I can’t wait to apply.
March 31st, 2010 at 1:49 pm
What an amazing giveaway! I would absolutely love to win this… life-changing for sure!
March 31st, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Great giveaway! So fitting for MML. Fingers crossed for myself!
March 31st, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Such a great post and so true… makes me want to put pen to paper right this minute. I love how concrete her ideas are. Thanks for a great post and an amazing giveaway!
March 31st, 2010 at 3:17 pm
I love her tips and boy could I use some life coaching right now!
March 31st, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I love the idea of a vampire list.
March 31st, 2010 at 4:06 pm
What a thoughtful and inspiring way to think about it!
March 31st, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I like the idea of the vampire list, but like even more that list of positive things. Sounds like a good project for my evening train ride home tonight.
And I don’t watch The Hills but I DID used to read Vogue and it was the same feeling! Nixed that one.
March 31st, 2010 at 4:53 pm
you bring so much useful & insightful information together, thank you.
March 31st, 2010 at 5:05 pm
This post came just at the right time for me. I’ve been trying to get a handle on a process for ensuring that I emphasize the positive things in my life. I’ve started with a gratitude journal and already I see the effects. This seems a natural extension.
Six sessions with Heidi — an exceptionally generous offer! I’m working through a career and lifestyle transition, and I can’t imagine a better gift. I’m keeping all fingers crossed. Many thanks.
March 31st, 2010 at 5:15 pm
I’ll enter too! It think it would be fun as well as beneficial to spend some time with someone I think so well of (it’s been a long time since London!) who can help me get on track with positive thinking.
March 31st, 2010 at 5:16 pm
What a fantastic give away! I know that this could really benefit alot of people. Sometimes in life you just need a little help.
March 31st, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Great ideas! And I love making lists too! This is fabulous!
March 31st, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Wow, what a great list and a fantastic giveaway.
Winning would make me nervous, but I’m sure it’s worth it.
March 31st, 2010 at 6:13 pm
I loved this guest post! Lately it just seems so hard to remember what your intentions and true goals are when you get bogged down by work and commitments. This was an absolutely great reminder and good gut check!
March 31st, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Wow, thanks for sharing this fabulous post. Whether I win or not these ideas are already a great way to get started on making some life changes!
March 31st, 2010 at 6:36 pm
LOVE this blog and today’s post by Heidi is helping me to get my train back on track! THANKS!!!
March 31st, 2010 at 6:57 pm
the nudge i needed to get back to journaling my random thoughts. there might be something worthwhile in there!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Wow, I know I (like so many others) could really benefit from this. Thanks for the opportunity!
Great post too. The list of positive things will really help me. It seems so easy, but yet I never just sit down and do this sort of thing. Living with intention makes so much sense!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Heidi, Great post! Your post reminded me 1) why I loved journaling so much and 2) that I need to start doing it again. Thanks! P.S. I talk to myself in the car all the time. I figure people will think I’m on speaker phone!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:00 pm
What a wonderful post. A few weeks ago I was introduced to MML and now I’m hooked. Every post is so well written and inspiring. The last few weeks I have felt truly inspired to “redesign” a new more athentic life for myself.I am normally a very shy person and have never posted a comment on any site before,but I can relate to so many things written in this post that the chance to work with Heidi sounds too amazing to be quiet and let opportunity like this pass by.Thank you Jess for creating such a wonderfule forum and inspiring so many people:)
April 1st, 2010 at 4:26 am
phew. another fantastic post. i can’t wait to dust off my journal over the weekend and start afresh with heidi’s tips… thanks as always.x
April 1st, 2010 at 5:44 am
I love giveaways! I could probably use some life coaching
April 1st, 2010 at 6:22 am
I definately need this. I’m at a point in my life where I need all the help I can get!
April 1st, 2010 at 8:17 am
Oh, this could not have come at a better time. I am currently in the process of reinventing myself as a happier, healthier person and any help would be appreciated. Fingers crossed!
April 1st, 2010 at 9:47 am
This is very closely related to my personal goals for the year. I’m not doing too shabbily so far, but outside encouragement is always welcome!
April 1st, 2010 at 11:37 am
Starting a new time in my life so this would be such a boost for me
April 1st, 2010 at 12:38 pm
This was a great post – thanks for the advice. I would love some one on one time to figure out where I want to focus my attention in my career and life.
April 1st, 2010 at 2:36 pm
i love that she calls it the vampire list! and i especially like her advice to “change the nature of the relationship.” now if i can just win some life coaching so someone can help me figure out how to do that!
April 1st, 2010 at 2:55 pm
LOVE THIS!! Thank you for sharing
April 1st, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I can’t wait to do this tonight! I’m looking forward to *crossing fingers* learning more from her.
April 1st, 2010 at 4:20 pm
That sounds really good, I would love to try it! In every case, useful advice, especially the last point that I tend to forget…
April 1st, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I’d be very excited to have a life coach!
April 1st, 2010 at 6:08 pm
What an incredible post! I’ve been stuck in a rut for some time now. Partially because of my chronic illness, but a lot of the blame lies with me not listening to myself and, instead, listening to fear. I really want to make an effort to be a better me. Thanks for sharing some tools!
~Robyn
April 1st, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Wow, awesome! Thanks for sharing these with us, I just love them all!
April 1st, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Great advice! Thank you.
April 2nd, 2010 at 9:21 am
whew….
I needed that *nudge*.
I decided to do some surfing this morning while waiting for the rest of the cabin to wake up – to start the first day of vacation & the rest of my life….
thank you!
April 2nd, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I could really benefit from some life coaching. After reading Holly and Heidi’s both life goals and ideas, it makes me realizing how often I avoid the hard stuff because I just don’t know how to work on it. How do I become my authentic self? It just seems to hard sometimes. Besides, I’ve got some running, or work, or grocery shopping to do…I’m sure this is how a lot of us go through our days not stopping to smell the roses once in a while. OR, to do something that really really hurts, pushes us toward our deepest fears.
April 2nd, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I’ve been saving this post until I had some time this week to really absorb it. Wonderful advice here! I like the idea of sitting down quiety to really listen to your thoughts. I think I’ll try this on my commute home tonight. I’d love to win a few sessions with Heidi!
April 2nd, 2010 at 4:37 pm
I have always wondered about whether a life coach could help me sort some things out, and I would love to have the opportunity to find out!
April 2nd, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Thank you for the reminder that I am the one responsible for my own happiness and care. When I think “I should go for that walk every morning” I can better put it in terms of how I will feel: “Going for a walk in the morning will feel so good!” My bed will always be there, but these sunny spring mornings are something special to take advantage of while they last… Happy Spring!
April 3rd, 2010 at 11:59 am
Some great advice – and so inspiring!
April 3rd, 2010 at 5:43 pm
I am so pleased I discovered this website, it has found me at a time that I am thinking through many things in my life and wanting to take control and change things. The ideas are inspiring and refreshing and Ia ms o enjoying reading them! Thanks for this one
April 5th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
I just discovered your blog through Selective Potential. I love it, I have been on the look out for positive blogs about making our lives better. This is a great giveaway! Looking forward to reading your blog.
April 5th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Interesting how life offers some words of advice and wisdom just when you need them – or rather, just when you are ready to listen to them. Thank you for this wonderful blog and the little brain dump ideas. I have been writing in a journal for years but I often find myself going in circles. These little ideas are proactive and effective.
As for the offer of 6 weeks of life coaching, someone to help keep me on the right track right now is exactly what I would love.
April 5th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Terrific post and an even better contest. What a great way to usher in Spring.
April 5th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
I’m a new Heidi follower! Thank you for the inspiration and chance to win much-needed sessions.
April 6th, 2010 at 10:14 am
This is a great post! I’ll have to check out Heidi’s blog. And I could totally use some life coaching.
April 7th, 2010 at 2:12 am
This was a great post! I’m going to read Heidi’s blog now!