[Giveaway Entries Are Now Closed]
First, let me say I’m overwhelmed, thrilled, and so honored to get the support I got yesterday with the launch of Jess LC. Thank you all so very much.
Today’s post is written by life coach Heidi, of To Be Luminous. Her ideas on personal power are a perfect continuation of MakeunderMyMarch in the mental realm. She is also a MML sponsor, and last week’s DYL participant. Enjoy!
(And remember to check out the bottom of the post for a sweet giveaway…)
Heidi on Personal Power
I love “Makeunder My Life” for too many reasons to list out here and since you all feel the same way, it would be redundant. For the sake of time and space I’ll stick to the #1 reason I give MML stamp of approval:
This process paves the way to personal power.
Most people move through life tossed around on the waves while life happens to them and then wonder why their life isn’t going where they want it to go! In designing your life you are taking your life back into your own hands and are daring to believe you know a better way.
Even after setting powerful intentions and moving forward in our dreams life keeps moving and I don’t know about you, but I still find myself listening to what someone else thinks I should do and doubting my deep desires and personal intentions – even just for a split second. For many of my clients just as they begin breaking down barriers, throwing away parts of life that don’t suit them (everything from a bad skirt to a sketchy boyfriend), the world starts to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” and sadly enough some step out of their new strength and retreat back into their former comfy world. Think: taking off the perfectly styled new outfit you’ve been dreaming of and slipping back into sweats. It sounds comfy, but comfy doesn’t help us achieve our dreams, become the person we’d like to be, and share our authentic selves with the world that so desperately needs each and every one of us.
We have to strengthen our personal power and as we take the MML action steps, it’s equally important to reacquaint ourselves with our own personal voice, our spirit, our intuition . . whatever you want to call it. It’s the little guy inside you that says what you really think. Your intuition fills you up, gives you wisdom, dispels fear, and calms anxiety. Your personal voice is full of love and joy- for you and for others exactly as you are now. Sometimes it’s even more of a feeling or a whisper, but the closer attention we pay to it, the stronger our personal power becomes and we come closer to our authentic selves and allow the people around us to do the same. Isn’t it great? By being our best selves we give our favorite people permission to do the same.
The best three ways to hone in on your own voice are to do the following. WARNING: This is a lengthy life long process. Do not expect to master it overnight, but DO expect to feel amazing strength, energy and courage very, very quickly!
#1 – Toss your energy vampires.
This means do your best to rid yourself of not only your excess stuff (which is perfect place to start), but your excess personal baggage too. Sit down and set the timer for 15 minutes. Grab a pen and paper (so much better than a computer for a brain dump) and write down the parts of your life that pull you away from who you dream of being. Your list might look like this:
- Screaming boss
- Critical “frenemy” Jill
- Guilt over broken relationship with Greg
- Hour long daily calls where my mom tells me what’s wrong in my life
- All my excuses for not going to the gym (Grey’s Anatomy, Deep fudge chocolate cake, having one-too many the night before)
- Vogue magazine (makes me want more stuff and to look model thin)
This list is different for everyone. One person’s vice (deep fudge chocolate cake) maybe a fabulous motivational tool for someone else. Keep it personal and remember it’s only about you! One example from my list will sound silly, but I used to watch the Hills and after watching it I’d always feel frumpy, unstylish, like I need to shop, lose some weight, etc. It wasn’t that I was actually saying these things out loud, but I never felt good after watching it. I put it on my vampire list. Anything that drags you down instead of lifting you up (including people) should be on the list. For most people on the list, it will be a matter of changing the nature of the relationship. For example: if mom yells at you, rather than cut her off, you need to find a new way of relating to her.
Once the list is made, get ready to start cutting. Some things are easy to cut, others will be difficult. Go slow and do your best, just know that you are treating yourself with care and deserve to feel alive and amazing, so that you can help others to feel the same way.
#2- Fill up on the good stuff.
Nope, I don’t just mean the aforementioned chocolate cake . . . just like your list of vampires, it’s time to sit down and make a list of people, places, items, and influences that fill you with joy. Set the timer and go! This list might include:
- My best friend Holly
- Date night with my man
- Cake batter batter ice cream from Coldstone
- A long hard run on a Spring day
- Girl’s night out dancing
- Long conversations with my sister
- A day on the beach
- An invigorating project at work
You get the picture. This is fun! If it feels like work, you’re doing it wrong. Put it down and try again later. Making this list should bring you to life, quicken your step and start you laughing.
Once the list is made start filling up the holes left by the previous list. If you go to lunch with Frenemy Jill three days a week and only see best friend Holly once every other week . . . there’s some obvious switching up to do. You get the gist. Have fun with it and just get started!
#3- Listen to your authentic voice every day.
The first two steps will get you started, but this last one will keep you going for the rest of your life. You have got to make time to listen to yourself daily or you’ll never hear that important whisper that could lead you into the life you’ve dreamed of. The more you listen, the stronger you become internally and all those vampires begin to lose their grip on you. You will find that you second guess yourself far less and you’ll jump in and take risks at times you never would have before.
Listening means making time. When I commuted, I’d turn off my iPod, not answer my cell and then I’d dream and talk to myself (out loud . . . I know a little crazy, but no one could hear).  My car was a sacred place. I kept it clean and I kept my heart open. It was on one of these drives that I felt nudged to go live in Bulgaria for a year and a half. These quiet nudges WILL change your life.
Another way to listen is by journaling. I’m not talking about writing a discourse on the details of your day. I mean, sitting down in a quiet calm place for 30 minutes and scratching out whatever comes into your mind. The words won’t be pretty and often they’ll be grumpy, but half way through (for me it’s around the 15 minute mark) brilliance starts to shine through. I have been doing this daily for a decade now and every bold, brave, amazing move I’ve made first began as a scratch in my journal, a seemingly silly momentary thought.
If you make no other change in your life than listening to (and acting upon) your authentic voice your life will unfold in beautiful and unexpected ways. This is the process I work through with my clients weekly. It’s empowering and frustrating, full of highs and lows, but so is life. Our dreams need a soft, happy, joyful place to grow and if we start within ourselves, miracles will happen.
GIVEAWAY: Six Weeks of Life Coaching with Heidi
Wow, right?! Heidi has generously offered to do a giveaway for a six-week life coaching session for someone on MML! To enter, comment on this post and I’ll use the good old random number generator to choose a winner next Wednesday, April 7th.
[photos courtesy of Kate Powers]
March 31st, 2010 at 7:11 am
Great post & great suggestions!
I would love to win a 6 week coaching session with Heidi! I’m at a point in my life where I need to make some changes, but I need help doing so!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:23 am
I love the idea of energy vampires…and definitely want to take the tips from this post and try applying them to my own life.
March 31st, 2010 at 7:29 am
What an awesome giveaway! I love this post!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:31 am
This is a great post!!!
I would love to work with a life coach!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:49 am
This was such a powerful post… I’m inspired to get our a pen and paper and start tackling my energy vampires. Wonderful, practical advice!
March 31st, 2010 at 7:53 am
#2 is SOOO huge in my life! Packing my time and energy full of the positive things around me: BFFs, love, encouragement, relaxation, productivity. The good stuff is so powerful if you let it be! Loved this post.
March 31st, 2010 at 8:02 am
Great advice! I need to start journaling again and make time for it. I used to do it every night but I’ve been slacking.
I would really love to win six weeks of life coaching with Heidi! What a great giveaway! I’m in college and am slowly learning to say goodbye to the things that don’t benefit me and only drag me down but it’s harder for me to say hello to new opportunities even when I know they are best for me.
March 31st, 2010 at 8:09 am
This post/giveaway could not have come at a better time. Thank you!!!
March 31st, 2010 at 8:14 am
What a wonderful post. It makes me want to get up and do something positive with my life immediately
March 31st, 2010 at 8:17 am
I feel afraid of trying because if I don’t try then I can’t fail and failing is my ultimate fear. This makes me limit myself, I wonder if I am the only one with these thoughts?
March 31st, 2010 at 8:28 am
What a wonderful give away!
March 31st, 2010 at 8:30 am
Wow! 6 weeks of life coaching! Heidi has some amazing things to say and is incredibly inspiring. I’m actually sending a copy of this post to my husband.
I am at a point in my life (and so is my husband) where we are desperately trying to figure out what comes next for us. He is a year out from the end of his military duty and whether he continues with the military pursuing a career as an officer or gets out and moves on with his life is the biggest influence on our life together. It’s a scary world for him outside of the military because it is all he knows as an adult. And with the military, someone else is making all of the decisions for you. For me, I’m in a job that is holding me back and have been putting off furthering my education until we find out what is in store for us with my husbands career choices.
I would LOVE to win the six weeks of life coaching!
March 31st, 2010 at 8:35 am
This was lovely. I completely agree on the journaling – it opens you up in amazing ways!
March 31st, 2010 at 8:36 am
What an awesome give away! I would love 6 weeks of free life coaching with Heidi, I am already inspired by her to try some of the things she has suggested in this post. I can definitely think of a few energy vampires in my life that need to get the boot.
Also, Jess, I didn’t get the chance to say this yesterday, but congratulations on the new website and launching of the new branding! The logo, website and jewelry all look amazing!
March 31st, 2010 at 8:41 am
Loving the new branding of JessLC – makes me want to get my act together!
Would love, love, love to win the free sessions. I’m tired of waiting for my life to start…
March 31st, 2010 at 8:59 am
Been reading, but my first time posting. I confess, the giveaway motivated me. I’m a mom who has been staying home with my son and is now returning to work full time. It’s going to be a rough transition.
March 31st, 2010 at 9:03 am
I love this post and what a great giveaway!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:11 am
Definitely a fantastic post! I sat down immediately and made my first lists!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:21 am
really enjoyed reading what heidi had to say here, and can only imagine what else i could learn from her over the course of 6 weeks. i feel like i have so many things to figure out, but no idea where to really start.
March 31st, 2010 at 9:27 am
What a great post – such terrific advice! I can only imagine how awesome six weeks of working with her would be!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:29 am
I used to be a life coach skeptic, but as I’ve traveled through life a bit more, I’ve realized how valuable it could be. I want to do big things–maybe Heidi could help!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:32 am
I so need to do this.
March 31st, 2010 at 9:38 am
what a great surprise for reading the post. crossing my fingers!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:42 am
This is a wonderful post! I’ve started my lists already. It would be amazing to work with Heidi one-on-one. Thanks for the opportunity to win!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:48 am
I would totally love to win life coaching sessions with Heidi! I’m really working on imagining a different future for myself- and sometimes I find that I get a little stuck in how things have been. I could definitely use her help!
March 31st, 2010 at 9:49 am
Even before I saw the giveaway I knew I wanted to comment about how great this post was. Some posts really affect me and I love the simplicity of working on these steps. I can write a list. I can take action on an item on a list. Thank you.
March 31st, 2010 at 10:04 am
Heidi’s post was brilliant! I devoured every word of it and it really resonated with me. Thank you for that!
~Rachel~
March 31st, 2010 at 10:05 am
Great post! I wrote out my lists already, and plan on journaling on my lunch breaks at work. Next step: winning six sessions with Heidi!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:06 am
Wow – she is so positive! She touched on some things that hit home with me. I’d love to win.
March 31st, 2010 at 10:23 am
I love this post, it is so inspiring to get moving on what I want out of life. It really spoke to me. I would love to win the 6 week counseling session with Heidi.
March 31st, 2010 at 10:31 am
Thanks for the great tips, Heidi!!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:34 am
Great post! Would love to have a life coach for 6 weeks! I need the motivation and the accountability. Off to start journaling!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:36 am
Wow, I would love to win the giveaway. I’m going to follow Heidi’s advice by writing down my energy vampires, and then start today reducing those influences in my life.
March 31st, 2010 at 10:39 am
this was such a great post – thank you Heidi! I would love some life coaching right about now!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:02 am
Can’t reiterate enough how long of a process this is…and some years will be better than others! Way to keep the eye on the long term goal!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:02 am
Wow…the comfy sweats comment hit me right between the eyes! Great lessons to start changing my life NOW!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:03 am
Heidi, thank you. Thank you for every single thing you said in today’s post. I just came across this site yesterday and I am so happy that I did. Going through a very difficult time in my life, now is when I need these inspiring words the most.
Thanks to both you and Jess for just doing what you do best. Helping people to live life a little more beautifully each day.
Trishna
March 31st, 2010 at 11:14 am
I read a lot of articles like this, but the way this is written hits home more than the others. In a loving way, too. Thanks so much for this post, Heidi!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:27 am
Wow is right! What a great giveaway! Thanks for letting me enter. I’d LOVE to win six-weeks of life coaching from Heidi!
msred5@yahoo.com
March 31st, 2010 at 11:29 am
Thanks for an inspiring article! And what a great giveaway! Thanks for giving us a chance to win this.
March 31st, 2010 at 11:34 am
I have just started reading Make Under My Life and am already so inspired! I have been following the steps of Makeunder March and am looking forward to adding Heidi’s suggestions into the mix. When I was taking an acting course we used the book the Artist’s Way which included writing “morning pages” which are very similar to her scrap journal- it helped me discover a lot about myself and I am encouraged to start it up again. I was never healthier, mentally and physically, than I was when I kept that journal. Fantastic give away!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:44 am
This was an amazing read! I’ve just discovered this site and I am in love with it! It would be perfect timing in my life to begin a transformation like this. Thanks for the opportunity!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:46 am
Fabulous – sign me up!
March 31st, 2010 at 11:47 am
I’ve just discovered this site and I’m in love with it! It’s full of motivating and inspiring words. Winning the giveaway would be perfect timing in my life right now and I’m going to makeover my life, regardless! Thank you!!
March 31st, 2010 at 12:06 pm
This is a really great post. Whoever gets picked for this is getting a really awesome give a way!
March 31st, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Really love your ideas and would love a 6 week coaching!!
March 31st, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Wow, I could really benefit from this opportunity.
March 31st, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I think this opportunity is a great one as well – thanks Jess for offering the chance for your readers!
March 31st, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Wow, what a giveaway! I particularly like the comments about filling up on the good stuff. It’s what life’s all about, no?
March 31st, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Great post (and give away)! Everyone should listen daily to their authentic voice.